2 Pirates and a Princess

Lovin' Life

2012-01-24T17:05:00.003-05:00

It's my birthday, and a great day to reflect.

I love my life.

I love my husband.

I love my children. More than anything I could EVER have imagined.

I love my family (really, I do).

I love my friends. Near and far.

I love what I am doing for "work" these days (although it probably would be even nicer if I was earning money for it!). I love my students. Every one of them.

It was 56 degrees F today. January. In Massachusetts.

Got to see three dear friends during the course of the day. First went to N's house to fix some computer problems (easy to fix, fortunately). Then, coffee with H - she "forced" me to add Kahlua to my peppermint mocha latte, and then we had a tailgate party in the back of her SUV, seeing how many people we could get to smile in the Starbucks parking lot. Wonderful. Then a yummy Indian buffet with D, my foodie friend. So much love.

David is whisking me out tonight for dinner, and he even remembered to arrange a sitter for our darling children!

And Comcast just admitted that there is a problem with our line (duh, I've been trying to troubleshoot with them for two weeks now), so tech is coming Thursday morning.

What's not to love?!

Thank you thank you thank you. To G-d and to everyone.

Ramblings and Musings

2012-01-14T08:32:00.002-05:00

Yes, Facebook has really taken over on the small thought postings. It's so much easier - I can punch out a short note on my phone whenever a thought "needs" to be shared. But I do still love my blog. I'm just sorry I don't get to it more frequently these days. I often have thoughts to share; unfortunately, they usually come to me as I am driving the mini van around Metrowest. And I'm not a "tape recorder" kind of writer - I need the physical contact with they keyboard, and I need the visual input of the letters.

So here we are. It was a busy but ok week. David was in Copenhagen (he's on the plane home now). Kids had school (well, Sofia had no school Friday, but I took her to MWJDS for the afternoon). And it's college vacation week, so I had access to babysitters!

Monday after school we took Sofia to Children's Hospital Waltham for her endocrinology checkup. As soon as she saw the building, she insisted "No Sofia. Boy sick. Micah sick. No Sofia." So the boys had to be weighed and measured before she would allow herself to be weighed and measured. There was NO chance of getting the blood pressure cuff to stay on long enough. And the blood draw was typical for Sofia: took three adults to hold her (she sits on my lap in the "blood" chair with the bar across us and my legs across her knees while I hold her non-draw arm. Another tech holds the "victim" arm - I had to push back on her shoulder to keep her from moving. Then the third person does the needle stick.) After the blood draw, she sat on the floor screeching at us in anger, and then there was the typical 24 hour period of keeping her "victim" arm pinned tightly behind her back.

But otherwise, endocrin was good. She's doing great, and even though the numbers are slightly elevated, they are still not high enough to need treatment. She did not stop talking when we went in to see the doctor, who is a kindly young father himself. She was full of stories about "Chipmunk Princess Towel Dance" - I have no idea what she's talking about!

Anyway, I left the kids home with a sitter at night and I had to go lead a shiva minyan for my friend whose brother died. Very sad. And to add a note of ridiculousness, I had to hold a flashlight during the whole service, because their living room is very dark and I could not see the pages of the prayer book!

Wednesday, I had to take Sam to his snowboard lesson, so I had a sitter for the other two, a dear family friend who is like an older brother to my guys. Thursday, I actually went out for fun with a friend!

OH! I promised I'd do this: last Friday, we had our house vents cleaned. GREAT experience. I'd gotten a Groupon for a household vent cleaning. Of course, the groupon was only for a part of the system, and of course they recommended way more work than just what I'd already paid a very small amount for.

But they were terrific. East Coast Vent. I HIGHLY recommend them. It was two brothers, one very chatty and sweet. First, they reviewed the system, then came back to me with the recommendations and pricing. I called in to check with David, who of course threw a hissy fit over the phone. They guys first suggested they come back another time so we could discuss. Then they reviewed the recommendations, and we found some ways to save money, with one recommendation for a Do It Yourself item instead. That brought the price way down, and then the office allowed them one final discount.

And then they did a complete and thorough job of cleaning all the dust and dirt and grime and socks and rodents from our ventilation system! I can feel the difference. House is warmer, not having to fight through the dust. And less sneezing already!

Whew - forgot to do that last week...

Sofia is now choking me, trying to pull me away to help her clean her toys so she can watch a movie. She's very strong. And she is saying so much these days! Last night, she insisted "Fire. Stick. Eat. Now. Ten Minutes. Come on. Please Mommy. Eat. Outside. Fire.Stick." The wind, the temperature, and my general unwillingness to let her cook her food over a bonfire nixed the idea.

Heading down to CT tonight to take Sam to a camp friend's bat mitzvah. David coming home tonight, but we won't get to see him until tomorrow.

Melt Down about "Boy"

2012-01-04T20:59:00.003-05:00

Whew, that was a long day. Mostly from 2:45 onward...

I was SO happy to get the kids back to school yesterday. And it's sort of scary how much delight David and I took in having to wake Sofia up both mornings: "Sofia! Wake Up! Morning Coming!" Payback...

It also felt good to get back to being "Hamorah Francine", the teacher. I got to work with my Torah students yesterday and today - very rewarding. Especially because I just love all the kids at this school!

So today: it took a bit to get us all out of the house, since they are still on "waking up late" time. Dropped Sofia at Breakfast Bunch, got the boys and myself to the day school. Worked with a new Torah reader, with lots of sweet giggles. Had a couple of quick check-ins with various folk.

Spent an hour running errands - FINALLY mailed out our 2011 Holiday Cards - then went to my favorite bagel place (Cafe Bagel) for some delayed breakfast and a lovely chat with the wonderful owner. Went home and sorted out some stuff, then had a very long and fruitful phone conversation with the rabbi of the synagogue where we will be holding our school Shabbaton in a few weeks.

Got Sofia, brought her back to the day school, reviewed Torah readings with Micah's class, had a very productive meeting with the school psychologist. We are coming up on Sofia's IEP, and it was useful to review with P (who is also the IEP coordinator for the day school) what some of our concerns and questions are for the public school. The nice thing is that, in December, the staff from the day school spent some time observing at the public school, and they now have much more information for me - most of it really good, positive news.

I've been feeling very out-of-the-loop about how Sofia is doing at the public school, because we get almost no written feedback, and of course Sofia is not telling us anything. So it's good to know things are going well.

My own biggest concern is the potty. They are still insisting on taking her to the nurse's office to use the potty, and at least once a week, she comes home in a change of outfit. She does NOT have accidents at home or at the other school, so I'm not sure what the heck is going on. And I've been stonewalled every time I ask. No one seems to "own" the decision. So that will be my own major issue for discussion at the IEP meeting. Besides academics, of course.

Anyway, after I met with P, I got to be Hamorah Francine again, this time by bringing the Torah itself down to the Kindergarten room (I was going to bring them to see it in theCafetorium, but there was a music class going on).

It was SO much fun to be able to show the students the Torah. Most of them had never been "up close" to see the scroll. I pointed out the words of the Shema, which they know by heart (and which has some unusually-sized letters). Sofia was thrilled ot have both Mama and Torah at the same time, and she was very definite about dismissing Hamorah A, her aide, when I appeared! (Although A stayed until I put my Mama hat back on again).

No, the big exhaustion came at the end of school. Samuel started his snowboard lessons today, along with one of his friends. So he was staying in the aftercare program until his friend's dad, came to get them. I collected Sofia, Micah and two children who usually walk (but it was way too cold, so I was driving them). But Sofia refused to budge without "Boy". She was laying on the ground in front of the door, screaming for Boy. She got so very upset. Shouting "Boy" and demanding we get him. We had to go back in to school and get a hug from him, and even then, it was difficult to get her in the car.

Dropped the other kids at their house, took Micah to Old Navy for some jeans. Sofia was VERY vocal about not liking the design of the new shopping carts, and then even more vocal about "HUNGRY!" Thank heavens they now have snacks in the check out line, although she ate half and then tossed it on the ground.

Took Micah to gymnastics, took Sofia to Starbucks, then sat in the car with her for 45 minutes waiting for Micah. She watched her Signing Times video on my phone while I napped ;)

Treated the two kids to sushi (takeout), and got her to bed a little earlier tonight. Before she fell asleep, we were practicing her reading lesson for the weekend reading group. And I discovered something amazing about my daughter:

SHE CAN READ!!!!!!

Not every word, but most of them. She can actually read the WORDS, not just identify them because of the pictures on the page. 'Cause she can read them without the pictures on the page!

She can also count to 10, and identify almost immediately how many items are on a given page.

I am SO proud of that little girl!

End of December

2011-12-27T09:21:00.003-05:00

First, I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year, and I hope that whatever holiday you may have celebrated (or still be celebrating) was wonderful.

I just returned from a quick trip to West Palm Beach, Florida, to visit my 100 year old grandmother, Doris. But I should probably say "100 years Young":

We should all be like this lady! She is quite amazing. Still lives alone. Stopped driving only last year (she said her eyesight isn't as good anymore - although she only wears glasses for reading!). Loves to dance and drink and cook and play cards.

I could only escape my family for three days. David and the kids drove me to the airport Friday evening, and I landed in WPB at midnight. She kept me up until after 2am, looking at the photos from her 100th birthday party (which I had missed, back in October). I had brought her a digital photo frame and put all the pics on that. She loved it.

We went to the mall Saturday morning. Shopped a bit, went out to lunch. She thought perhaps she wanted to buy an iPad! However, I convinced her that a Nook Color would be what she needed - and Saturday afternoon (15 minutes before the store closed), I raced back to buy it for her! (I also got to spend a few hours poolside. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!)

Spent Sunday, which was Christmas day, setting up her Nook and sitting by the pool. Thankfully, the Clubhouse has WiFi, so she'll be able to download books there. She likes the ability to make the print bigger. I also set her up with email, but I don't know if she'll actually use it.

Sunday night, we joined thousands of other Members Of The Tribe for an ancient ritual - in our case, deli, rather than Chinese Food. Extremely long line to get in, chock full of folks from Central Casting - old Jewish folk, mostly from New York, but a few Israelis and Russians, too. And the visiting "children" of all ages.

The wonderful thing about South Florida, and especially about eating out, is that you talk to EVERYONE. Everyone wants to make a comment, or ask how your food is, or tell you their own complaints and woes. It's a riot.

(Actually, at lunch on Saturday, I got into a conversation with the ladies next to us about Special Need Adoption - two of them work for an agency in Philly!).

Still: Romanian steak with onions, kasha varnishkes, homemade stuffed derma. Heaven's got nothing on Boca.

Spent Monday morning at the pool and then took Grandma grocery shopping. Then it was time to come home. So sad to leave. It was sweet - on the phone I asked Micah if he wanted me to bring him anything back from Florida, and he said "Can you bring Grandma?" I really wish I could (well, no, actually, I wish I could stay there - its' much too cold for her here!).

So my 100 year old bathing beauty:

will stay home:

With her digital photo frame and her Nook, and her granddaughter will try hard to go see her again soon.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...David took the kids to shul and then in the evening to Kosher Chinese (the REAL custom!). Sunday he took them down to my uncle's house for Christmas, and Sam went home with my sister and the twins for the week. My folks will bring him back Thursday (so it'll be nice and peaceful here for a few days!). Yesterday, David took the little ones to the Chipmunk movie (yeah, means I don't have to go!!!).

The two kids were VERY happy to have Mama back. Micah, who had been calm and mellow all weekend, was bouncing off the walls, and Sofia kept clutching me. Mama can't go away for more than a few days.

The rest of December was nice. We had a Bat Mitzvah on the 17th, my dear friend's daughter, who used to be in Sam's class. Micah didn't come to the party, opting for an afternoon with his friends instead, but the rest of us had a blast.

Hanukah has been nice and mellow. A few new movies and video games, an RC Copter for Micah, snow hats for the boys, a "Cowgirl Jessie" doll for Sofia. Simple pleasures.

Sam bought himself an iPod Nano - with his own money! He's trying hard to grow up.

Laura's boyfriend installed a new laminate floor in the boys' bedroom - it looks FABULOUS. We rearranged the furniture, so the room looks much bigger. Of course, there is still a large pile of stuff in the hallway to be sorted through, but we are trying to throw out (or donate, if appropriate) as much as we can. Of course, for all his trying to grow up, Sam would only get rid of about 3 stuffed animals ;)

I'm happy.

Just simply happy. Not ecstatic. Not overjoyed. Just pleased with life in general. I love love love working at the school. I love being a mommy. I love my husband (although I do wish HE were happier, but we're working on it - work is very stressful for him). I have wonderful friends, near and far. I have a nice house, which is getting nicer (hopefully in time for the Bar Mitzvah in June!). I have some cool tech toys (I got a slide converter, and am working on digitizing a carton-load of my dad's slides; I also took his old Super8 movies in to be digitized, and found a reel from my mother's childhood, that my grandfather had made, that ended with my parents' wedding!).

Life is good.

-----

Oh, and Dear "Anonymous" - I will not be publishing your hateful comment. Sometimes you have made a good point - notice that now I block out faces of background folk - but your way of saying things is so nasty. Please thing about how "words hurt" before you type. Take a deep breath. And feel free to use your own name. I do not publish "Anonymous" comments.

A Mild and Relaxed week (for a change!)

2011-12-04T21:39:00.002-05:00

So we dropped Sofia at school on Monday, and the boys and I ran errands. This included a jaunt to the Mall. Sam bought himself a new iPod Nano with his own money (amazing!!!). My parents had gotten him an iPod Touch last year for Hanukah, and it has both music and games. And it is the first thing we are likely to take away from him when he misbehaves. So he figured if he wanted to listen to his music, he'd better get something that was JUST for music (much less likely to be punished for music than for games).

Micah stressed over a decision at Game Stop. Ultimately we had to go to the store three different times during the week, and he finally got something (with birthday gift cards) yesterday. Exhausting! But at least he is enjoying his new Wii game (a Zelda title, not sure which).

I "worked" at the school all day Wednesday, which was fun. I really love being there and working with the kids and the office staff. But I had the oddest dream at the beginning of the week. I dreamed that I went to Professional Development Day, and all the classroom and Hebrew teachers were brand new, so just the office staff and the few "specials" (art, gym, literacy) were familiar faces. We had to go around and introduce ourselves and tell our plans for the year. But after each person spoke, they left the room. And I was the last person to speak. So it was only me and the Office Manager left.

I handed out Torah portions to Micah's classmates for their January 25 "debut" reading. They had read a paragraph as a whole class together last year, but this time they each have their own one or two lines to learn. They were very excited. And the 3rd graders looked on with varying degrees of jealousy - their turn is next, and they will read in May.

Anyway, while I was with Micah's class, his friend A (my "adopted brother"'s younger daughter) said to me "We're having lobster tonight, and I don't like lobster, so can I come home with you?" Too cute. She did come tagging along with us, to Sam's dentist appointment (she and Micah stayed in the car and did their homework), then to drop Micah at gymnastics, then to shul for Sam's first lesson with the cantor, then back to gymnastics. Her father and brother met us and we took the kids out to dinner (so really, only her mother and sister were having the lobster anyway!). Craziness, but still fun.

Another of Micah's classmates and her mom came for Shabbat dinner, which was really nice - mom is my friend, first from shul and now from the day school. Nice evening.

Lazy weekend. We skipped shul (no babysitting, and I just did not have the energy to chase Sofia around), and all the kids got haircuts in the afternoon. Sam convinced me to let him get what David calls a "high and tight" - very very short on the sides, and very short on top. Fortunately, the kid has a gorgeous head and face, so it's not too horrible, but really not my taste.

Evening, Micah went to his friend J's sleep-over party, but knew in advance that he would not want to sleep over. I dropped Micah off and picked up J's brother, who was coming to our house for sleepover with Sam. They watched a couple of movies, and I could leave them with a sleeping Sofia while I went later to pick up Micah.

This morning, more movies, more hanging out. David finally returned from India, and we picked him up at the bus at about 3:45. Home, take-out sushi, and he passed out right away. Got Sofia to bed, and helped Sam work on his Social Studies project some more. We think the model is done (three story house! thank heavens we remembered I own a glue gun!).

I finally made plans to see Grandma. David's suggestion: I am going by myself the weekend of Christmas. I leave Friday evening (landing quite late), and come back Monday afternoon. He will take the kids to my uncle's house for Christmas day. I get two-and-a-half kid-free days with my grandma. YEAH!

What happened to November???

2011-11-27T21:18:00.002-05:00

So when last we "spoke", there was a mouse in my closet. Mousie continued to terrorize me for the week. On Thursday of that week, my friend D came over to help me clean the closet, and we managed to put together 25 bags of things to be donated! I have a very clean and organized closet now, and I found some old clothing that fits me again, which was nice.

David returned home from Copenhagen, and on Sunday, we went to the MWJDS Gala. Micah's class was presenting, and Sam's class was ushering, so I got to have all my boys dressed up.

My friend H and I wore sequins - I remember wearing this to my 30th birthday party! Very excited that it fits again, even if the overall shape is a little different than 16 years ago.

We had a nice time, and Sofia had fun at home with a babysitter ;)

Another week, more mouse trauma. Signs of droppings in hallway, in David's bureau drawers, and in Sofia's dresser drawers. David left for Atlanta. Sam's sensory integration issues with sound kicked back up, first time in years, so he started wearing earplugs in school, which he has not needed to wear since about 2nd grade.

Wednesday evening, all hell breaks loose as I actually SEE the mouse in Sofia's room! Call my neighbor, who thankfully comes right over (he's the go-to guy for nature incursion; he once removed a tick from Sofia's neck long ago). Head lamp, gloves, box, ready to work. The boys were fascinated, and followed him in to Sofia's room, while I had to keep her out. Poor Sofia had no clue about the mouse; she was just aware that there was a Man in her room and her brothers had locked her out.

Anyway, they were not able to catch the mousie, but he set some traps. David, during this episode, was in the Atlanta airport, wishing he wasn't on his way home! He had been traumatized as a small child - he'd reached in to scoop dogfood out of a 50lb bag, and a bunch of baby mice had crawled up his arm. So my husband is NOT the one to handle rodents!

It was NOT a peaceful week. No sleep, between Sofia in our bed (couldn't let her sleep with the mousie) and listening to every little noise.

Friday, finally, the trap was sprung. Sam said he wanted to "man up" and remove the trap, but on first try, he came screaming out saying "Yikes, you can see the tail!". But he did it. Very proud of him.

Veterans Admin came and took 20 bags away, and I brought the rest to Savers (Epilepsy Foundation). Whew.

Bat Mitzvah on the 19th in Worcester - I had to read Torah, which meant that, in addition to being exhausted from no sleep, I was completely stressed out. But I did ok. After services and lunch, we came home and David and I both slept 3 solid hours. We left Sofia and Micah home with a sitter and took Sam with us to the party. It was nice to see our Worcester friends, but kind'a disturbing to see the 13 year old girls dancing to songs with lyrics like "I'm So Sexy" and "Shots for Everyone". Sam had fun with his friends (past MWJDS students and a friend from Ramah).

Sunday we went back down to CT for Lilie's birthday party, which was busy but fun.

Ok, that brings us to Thanksgiving week. Getting a little more sleep, but still coping. Sam's OCD kicked in, along with his 12-year-old attitude. Tuesday morning, I had to take him to his reading group, but could not get him out of the car, because he was so upset and stressed about going. I had to get someone from his IEP team to come out and get him out of the car. And when he came back, he was fine, proud of how he'd done in class, calm and happy. I was a total wreck.

But we finished the week, met up with Sam's former teach and a lot of MWJDS friends for lunch on Wednesday, and did a few errands.

Getting better, finally. Thanksgiving day, we took a lot longer to get out of the house than we had expected - didn't leave until 2pm - but it was moderately restful. And we went to my sister's house, with my folks, mom's cousins, and dad's brother and his family.

Actually had a nice time. My uncle was really nice to us, and we had a nice time talking to them. It was a nice change.

Sofia borrowed Hannah's coat:

Sam hangs out with my cousin Paul:

Sofia gets comfy in front of the football game:

Slept over, but came back up before noon on Friday. Fairly peaceful weekend. We'd hoped David's folks could come up on Friday, but they were swamped with work. So it was just us (could not get anyone else last-minute!). Saturday, it was a lovely day, so we went to the Ecotarium in Worcester. which was fun. Sofia INSISTED on going on the train ride, so she and I sat there for 45 minutes waiting for the next ride, while David took the boys to the Planetarium show.

We stopped at Wegman's on the way home. Wow. I'll have to go back there on a week-day when it's not crowded and I'm not shepherding kids. Wow.

At night, I made Rack of Lamb. I'd bought it before Passover and it's been taking up freezer space. I'd hoped ot have company to share it, but it was just us. Which ended up ok, because it took three times longer to cook than I'd thought it would.

But OH MY was it DELICIOUS!!!!!!

Today, later morning and then we dropped David at the Logan Express bus - he's off to India for the week - and saw the Muppet Movie with friends. I think the other two moms and I should have gone without the kids, 'cause we had a blast!

Went over to N's house tonight for dinner after the movie. I helped her son set up his new iPod and laptop. It was good to see her - it's been a few weeks.

The boys don't have school tomorrow - Professional Development Day - but Sofia does, which means the boys and I can go run errands and maybe see another movie that she wouldn't liek. Then back to normal. I am trying to figure out how the heck to go visit my grandmother, but she insists I should NOT bring a sick child, which is a problem. I have had at least one sick child all semester (Sofia's got a horrible stuffy nose). So I have to figure out who can take care of my kids while I go down to Florida for a couple of days, and David is traveling non-stop for the next month or so.

Whew!

A nice shot of my kids, Nov. 6 when my parents came to visit:

And because it wasn't already stressful...

2011-11-09T11:28:00.003-05:00

There are mice playing tag in my closet every night, and venturing into my room at 4am. UGH.

Pest guy came yesterday, but I put in another call today - the mousie actually knocked over a bag of stuff by my desk!

I apparently have a HORDING problem...I have mostly emptied out the walk-in closet, but there is just SO MUCH STUFF to go through.

Someone please come keep my company!!!

Feelin' the "Special" in Special Needs

2011-11-07T14:28:00.002-05:00

So my parents did come up yesterday, but not until late afternoon. Which meant that we all went shopping together, rather than leaving my Dad and Sofia home, and then out to dinner.

My mother likes to shop. It is her favorite activity, and she is very, very good at it. Which means she is not fast. She is thorough. She searches for the correct size, she weighs the options, she considers.

And did I mention we had Sofia with us?

So that was NOT MUCH FUN. Sofia has about as much patience as...uh, ok, Sofia has NO patience.

We did put her in a shopping cart - gave her the option of holding my hand, Pop's hand, or the cart, she chose the cart - but she wanted Mama, not Pop, to wheel.

The store we were in has very narrow aisles, which means my daughter could engage in octopus behavior, and grab just about EVERYTHING. And then throw it into the cart.

Once she finally climbed out of the cart (being the little monkey that she is), she wanted to push the cart.

Hard.

And fast.

And far.

Meanwhile, my parents and Sam are agonizing over sweatshirts, and Micah is trying to help me keep Sofia from running people over.

And then she got HUNGRY.

At the top of her lungs.

So while they were paying, I took her over to the card store, which thankfully also has food (gift items), and I found a yummy bag of chocolate caramel corn.

A bit longer to shop... and then off to a restaurant.

On the Sunday night after the clocks have changed. Which means 6pm still felt like 7pm.

Which means at 7pm (when our internal clocks said 8pm, half an hour past her bed time), we were still in the restaurant.

Fortunately, we were in a large corner booth, with a solid wall behind, so Sofia could stand and stretch and point and move around mostly without escaping. Her brothers flanked her on either side.

Until she climbed over Micah to get to me and Pop (who were sitting in chairs at the end of the table).

And once done eating (thank HEAVENS Legal Seafood has gluten-free roles!), Sofia insisted on three visits to the potty. Which you just can't ignore, in case she really has to go.

I hit a wall. It was so stressful. And all the while, my folks are being themselves, having a leisurely dinner and discussing the various merits of the food and service - at great length.

We survived, but I was so conscious of how "different" Sofia really is. My parents would expect a 6 year old to sit still. Not an option here. My parents would expect Micah to be happy. Not an option here (he feels very much a second-class citizen, because my folks really spoil Sam, and Sam knows how to play along. Micah refuses to play along, and gets into arguments with my mother.)

Sigh.

And in the middle of the night, there was a mouse in my closet. Which means that this afternoon I will be emptying the closet - a walk-in, 17' long - so the pest guy can get in there tomorrow and remove the critter and plug the hole!

The End of Hell Week

2011-11-05T23:07:00.003-04:00

It's really been a tough week.

Last weekend was the Storm. Aside from the weather, it was an ok weekend, mostly relaxing.

Monday night was Halloween. Not my favorite holiday, I hate all the candy, but the kids still enjoy it. David walks with Sofia, the boys go with the pack of neighborhood kids, I man the door at home. Sofia only made it to a few houses before she got too scared, so she and David came home.

And while he was home, we got The Call, that his grandmother, Toby, had died. So we dealt with that, told the boys about it when they came home. Micah, in his way, wanted to hear nothing else about it, and went to his room. Sam, in his way, stayed up stressing and fussing in our room far too late.

Tuesday, other than being sad about Grandma Toby, was actually an ok day. I taught Micah's class their first trope (Torah reading) lesson, and it went really well!

Wednesday was crazy. I took Sofia with me and drove Micah to school. David took Sam to the Ashland Middle School, for reading group. Sofia and I picked him up. David went to work for a few hours, so Sam and I fought about his Hebrew homework, and packed.

Left home around 11, got to New Britain a little early, and made our way to the cemetery. This is the place where all his relatives are buried, and unfortunately, we have been there a lot, but it's really a lovely place. And it was a beautiful day for a funeral - sunny and warmer.

CT is a wreck - trees down everywhere, and at that point, almost no one had power. And the cemetery was muddy. They had to bring the backhoe in to finish putting the dirt on the casket (in a Jewish funeral, usually the mourners and other attendees do all the shoveling of dirt, but it was just too wet).

We got a nice turn-out - a lot of the Long Island cousins, whom I really really like, came up for it, which was sweet of them. We went back to Grandma's house for shiva, so we got to visit people for a while. And just after most of them left to go to shul for the evening service, the power came back on!

We met them at shul (David had gone with his dad, and I had his mom), and then dropped Sam and Sofia at my sister's house, where my parents have been camped out all week (along with several other families!). Then we drove to NYC. (Micah, meanwhile, had a great time sleeping over with friends up here).

David and I were going to NYC to get his travel visa for India (he's going right after Thanksgiving). We didn't get to the hotel until after 10pm. In the morning, I stayed at the hotel for a leisurely breakfast while he went over to the Visa Center. He handed in his passport and all his paperwork and money, and then the guy said "ok, come back tomorrow at 5:30"! It was supposed to be same-day service, but they could not promise!

So we spent the whole day stressing about whether we would get his stuff back in time. And he needed his passport - right now (Saturday night) he's on a plane to Copenhagen.

We spent most of the day walking around the city. Meandering. Nothing really special, but it was nice. Found a good kosher Israeli place, for shwarma and schnitzel. Also had Tea and Scones at an Alice In Wonderland themed place. Very nice.

And luckily, the passport and visa DID make it through the system, so we were able to get them on Thursday evening. Got back in the car around 6:30. Headed back to my sister's house, stopped for a quick bit of dinner, and made it home by 11:15 (Micah was home with a sitter).

Done, right?

Nope.

Friday morning, Sam is sobbing and choking. His tonsils are completely swollen. I sent him back to sleep (that seemed to be what he needed more than anything else), and took Micah and Sofia off to school. Called pediatrician on the way home, and they said bring him in early.

So we saw one of the other peds, not our regular (but I trust all the docs in that office; don't necessarily like one of them but I do trust them). Dr. T. was quite alarmed, and thought it might be a peritonsular abscess. She booked us in to the Ear/Nose/Throat office - where we had all been patients back when the boys were little and had ear tubes and I got allergy shots.

Unfortunately, the pediatric ENT was not in, so we saw one of the other docs. And they couldn't take us until 2pm, so I spent a lot of frantic time trying to find someone to pick up Sofia from school. It was stressful. And I picked up Micah early (school ends at 2 on Fridays).

Anyway, the ENT did not think it was an abscess. Apparently, there are a lot of weird throat things that can happen with mono, so even though the quick-test for strep was negative, it's not totally ruled out. So the ENT said to have the pediatrician write scripts for a steroid and an antibiotic.

We went back to our pediatrician (we were supposed to be there for Micah's 10 year check up), and she wanted to know why the ENT couldn't write his own scrips! I think he was not used to dosing for pediatric patients. And she also agreed with her colleague that it looked more like an abscess, so we were stressed out for the past 24 hours, watching for symptoms or signs of improvement.

Fortunately, it does seem to be responding to the steroids. Whew! 'Cause the next step was the ER.

We went to our friends' house for Shabbat dinner, which was nice (especially nice since I did not have any food ready!), and slept late today. Except that there was a knock on the door at 8pm, UPS delivering a package for David for work. Which was also a stress-inducer, although we eventually realized it wasn't as bad as we thought (requests for information only).

David went to work, while I tried to get Sam to calm down. Eventually he did. The poor kid is frightened. And a drama king. But I had a serious talk with him about whether he really needed to go to the ER or not. We managed to avoid it.

He came with me to drive David to the Logan Express bus, and then go grocery shopping. I made a nice dinner for the kids - marinated salmon, pasta, broccoli - and we also got fixings for ice cream sundaes. YUM.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better... although my parents are coming to visit...hmmmm...

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

2011-10-31T21:06:00.002-04:00

David's paternal grandmother, Toby Rothkopf (Toba bat Bryna v'Ephraim) just passed away this evening, peacefully, in her sleep. She was over 100 years old, and in her own home.

We have been expecting this for a while - Grandma Toby has been house-bound and not mentally "with us" for several years now - but it's still a sad shock.

They are still working out the details for burial. The New Britain (CT) cemetery is "closed" because there are still so many trees down from the storm this past weekend. So we are not sure whether we will be able to get in there on Wednesday, or have to wait until Thursday. (Which will be a real mess, not only because of the delay, but because Thursday, David needs to be at the Indian Consulate in NYC at 9:20 am and then again at 5:30 pm to pick up his visa for travel.)

A Normal Week

2011-10-31T11:47:00.002-04:00

Well, now we are in the swing of "normal" (for us, that is). Last week was fairly relaxing. Nothing out of the ordinary. Only "special" was Friday morning, I ran my first All School Tefillah. I'm told it went well, but it was waaay too long for my taste. More than an hour. Stressful. But the kids did GREAT. I made sure every child had a part, too, which was nice. The kids at this school ROCK!

Friday night, H and her kids came for Shabbat dinner. Always fun. Her kids are each about 1.5 - 2 years younger than mine, but each pair get a long great. Sam is very relaxed and silly around 5th grade (girl) S, Micah and B are good buddies, and Sofia absolutely worships G, who is in the kindergarten class at the day school. It was anice evening.

Shul on Saturday was long, but really nice. I bounced around with Sofia - she tried the kindergarten service, but then we went to the preschool service, because they had a great "snacktivity" making Noah's Ark and rainbows out of food. Yum. Sam "broke" his toe on Friday night (it's not really broken, but he thinks it is; it's just banged up and hurts a lot), so he sat in main service with David, and I'm fairly certain Micah spent most of his time in the Youth service in the chapel.

After lunch, there was a stand-up Kiddush (just light snacks), but then there was a light lunch if you stayed for the Study Session. Which we did. It was really interesting, and fun to study. The boys were not interested, and spent most of the time in the hallway. Sofia was fine as long as she was eating, but then she had to wander out to the hall with her brothers.

We had one incident - a new member, who really wanted to study, but her very young daughter was making a lot of noise. An older member, who was having a bad day, got up and yelled at us to get the kids out. The new member was in tears. I had to grab her back, and hand her daughter off to the boys (I was VERY proud of my boys for helping!). I was impressed, however, with how the clergy handled it. Cantor (and his Rabbi/wife) had been in the hallway with the kids, so I told them what happened when I took the girls out. After the study session, they came in and sat with us, and the Rabbi came over and ate his lunch with us. We continued the study discussion, very relaxed. There was no mention of the Incident, and the new member was able to calm down a bit.

When the Rabbi stood up, we did mention it, and he was either totally clueless, or brilliant (and if you know him, I'll let you make your own decision...). He was "competely unaware" of the lady yelling at us during the session, and told us how that lady was having a really hard and stressful day, and then said how it really wasn't a problem, just could be difficult for some people to concentrate if the kids got too loud. It was graceful (if it was purposeful), in that he did not denigrate either position - it was difficult for the one lady to concentrate, but those of us with small children have every right to be included, and next time we will arrange something specific to keep the kids occupied.

Anyway, we had a very relaxing rest of Shabbat (we didn't even get home until 3pm!). The rain and then the snow kept us tucked into the house all day. After we put Sofia to sleep, the rest of us played a long game of Electronic Banker Monopoly, which Micah had gotten for his birthday. I HATE board games ("bored" games!), and Monopoly with my three captains of industry is entirely unpleasant for me, but it was still nice. And I went bankrupt fairly quickly, so I could come back upstairs and get ready for bed ;)

Sunday, lots and lots of very wet snow. We only lost power for about half an hour at night (that's what put an end to the game), so we were lucky. The surrounding area is still without power.

I took the boys to see their friend perform in "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" in the afternoon, while David took Sofia to his office - she watched movies while he worked. In the evening, we had a nice fire in the fireplace.

Back to school and real life today. The boys are looking forward to Halloween tonight - the dads on the street usually take the kids, while moms are on door-duty. I'm looking forward to some quiet time!

Whew! Holidays are over.

2011-10-25T17:27:00.002-04:00

I really do love the Fall holidays. Rosh Hashanah, the celebration of the New Year, with its promise of rebirth and renewal. Yom Kippur, solemn and joyful at the same time. Sukkot, the harvest festival, with the fun of putting up and decorating a sukkah and maybe even eating in it. Simchat Torah, raucous dancing and rejoicing in the gift of the Torah.

But, MAN, am I tired!

They just come one right after the other. The boys had 4 weeks of very short school weeks. There's no continuity, no "regular schedule". It's just nuts!

So now the holidays are over, and we can breath, and return to (or start on) "normal".

Of course, this year it was even more difficult because the kids were all sick, so there were even more missed school days. Sofia ended up missing again on Thursday, and I took her to the pediatrician. Finally, antibiotics for sinus infection and bronchitis. I'm pleased to say that now she is doing great (and her appetite has returned - this afternoon she has been an eating machine!).

So Thursday night we were at shul, Friday I sent Sofia back to school but took the boys to shul. We had to leave "early" - 12:45 and we were just getting to the Haftorah - in order to get over to the other synagogue to prove to the rabbi that we knew our Torah readings for the Bar Mitzvah on Shabbat. So we had to stop and get some lunch (we were starving!).

It was nice to have a private moment with Nicki and the kids, because the Bar Mitzvah was a whirlwind. It was wonderful. Not too sad, just a couple of mentions of Max's dad, but mostly a joyful celebration. Max did great (so did Sam, who also read Torah).

Reception was right after services, at a hotel in Waltham, so Sam went on the bus with the other kids, but Sofia and Micah came with us to the cocktail reception.

Sofia was in a bit of a mood:

And did not want her picture taken with me and Nicki:

But Micah looked sharp:

Once we went into the main party room, Sofia was able to accessorize better:

David looked sharp as usual:

Micah and Gavi and another friend rocked out on the dance floor:

And David and I got decorated as mummies by a variety of children:

It was a really nice day.

I'm glad I went, but I am still sorry I had to miss my grandmother's 100th birthday party. I'm on the phone with my mom now, getting all the details - it was a great party.

In the evening, David and I went out to another birthday party, for my friend, while our old nanny babysat the kids (which made the boys very happy).

Sunday was Micah's birthday party! Sofia was also supposed to go to another party, but it was at Chuckie Cheese, and with the sinus infection and bronchitis, I didn't think that was the best place for her. So we sent Sam off to see Shear Madness with the USY group, and we got everyone set up in the Cole Center in Natick, just a little rec center, for a facilitated gym party.

Perfect. 23 kids and plenty of activity and running around. They had a blast.

The Crew receiving instructions:

Micah had a blast:

Dodge Ball:

After cupcakes, back into the gym for football:

Sofia took the ball:

And then took a break:

Whew. Glad that's over. And I can't believe Micah is 10 years old today!!!!

David is in the UK this week, there are no holidays, no one is too sick to go to school, and life is returning to normal. Finally.

----

And I finally got thru to my grandmother, who has been running around with all the family down there. Nothing like asking a 100 year old woman how she's doing and hearing "Oh, I'm a little drunk right now"!

Sukkot postings

2011-10-17T21:22:00.003-04:00

Just took a moment to read my old posts from each October. My children apparently like to get sick for October, because there are several references to medicine and barfing.

Tonight we finally got to eat dinner in the sukkah. It was lovely - sushi in the sukkah - beautiful weather. David was out, so just me and the kids. Over dinner, I talked to them about ushpizin, the special guests traditionally invited to the sukkah (traditionally it was Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David and Aaron).

I asked the boys whom they would invite .

Sam's first answer: "My future wife!"

Micah's first answer "A person." (he was not being cooperative)

Sam's second answer: "my great-grandparents' great grandparents"

Pretty cool. I am proud of that kiddo.

And Sofia perked up with "Yeah! Strong!" and showed off her muscles. Apropos of nothing, but it was awfully cute.

They all went back to school today. Whew. Sofia still has a horrible cough, but she made it. At the day school, there was an assembly at the end of the day, and apparently Sofia followed Mr. D, the principal, all around for the whole thing. Mr. D. was, of course, running the assembly at the time...

Tonight we made scrap book pages for my grandmother (my sister is collecting pages, for the party next weekend that we are going to miss in favor of the bar mitzvah). I had each kid make their own page, and I made my own. Sofia was very impressed with her page (I put the pictures on, but she wrote her name), so she grabbed it and hung it up in her room. I had to wait until she fell asleep before I could retrieve it.

I just can't keep up!

2011-10-14T16:22:00.002-04:00

Ok, here is the slide show for late September/ early October:

When last I blogged, we had gotten through Rosh Hashanah, and a trip to Salem and to the Big E. Those photos are in the slideshow above.

That week was relatively normal, except that Sam missed most of the week. Fever several days. The boys did not have school Friday, so we went back to the pediatrician on Friday, in between prepping for Yom Kippur.

Laura's car started smoking on her way up to us, so she and Lilie missed Friday night's dinner and services, but they were around for Shabbat/Yom Kippur, and stayed for the Buddy Walk on Sunday.

Saturday morning, before services, I had to take Sam to the hospital lab for blood work. He was not happy. And he was still not feeling good.

Services were ok. It was nice to be in my own community. Sofia stayed in babysitting the whole time, so she was VERY happy. I got to see my friends, and the weather was gorgeous.

Invited a lady from shul for breakfast, which was fun.

Sunday was the Buddy Walk. MUCH fun. Hot!

Monday, Columbus Day, I took Sofia to a birthday party in the morning, and then took Micah to his friend's house for a playdate, and took Sam (and Sofia) shopping for more dress-up clothing for him. He is anticipating several more B'nai Mitzvah parties this year!

Put up the sukkah Monday night - I love our easy new sukkah that we bought last year. I can do it mostly myself. Weather was still gorgeous.

But Sofia popped a fever Monday night, so she stayed home Tuesday. I did send her in on Wednesday, but after a few hours she was sent home. Had fever through Thursday, and still has a horrible cough. Pediatrician says it is viral (Sam's blood work indicated viral, too). Micah has the cough, but so far no fever.

But we sent Sam's bloodwork back for more testing, because he has been falling asleep every afternoon, as well as the minute he gets out of the shower. Found out today he will be tired for several more weeks. :(

So I missed Sukkot services yesterday, with three sick kids (actually, except for exhaustion, Sam is ok, so he had a playdate). I'm SO BORED stuck in this house!!! And it's been raining since the holiday started Wednesday evening, so we have not even been able to eat in our sukkah!

So that's where things stand for now. I'm tired, I'm bored, and I'm just DONE with running this infirmary!

October Already!

2011-10-03T11:51:00.002-04:00

Ok, seriously, I promise I'll update more often. September sort of got away from me.

The week of the 19th is just a blur. Very busy, still getting used to schedules. David was actually home all week, and we got to go "out" two nights - both for school events, but still, "out" without children! That Wednesday was a total rush - I had to help with Whimsical Wednesdays (the preschool program at the day school), then have a Team meeting for Sofia, then go get her, bring her back, teach Micah's class, teach another class, pick up kids, take boys to gymnastics, Sofia to her gymnastics, come home and teach my two B'nai mitzvah students! WHEW!

On the 24th we went down to CT. Dropped the kids with my in-laws, who took them to a football game at Central CT, while David and I went to the accountant to do our taxes (yes, in October!). Them met back up with in-laws for kid exchange and early dinner.

Sunday, Sam went on the USY Boat Cruise (and had a lot of fun) and Micah went to a birthday party (and had a lot of fun) and Sofia went to a different birthday party (and had a lot of fun)! Micah and his "gang" from shul all stayed later at the party and played ...um...it was some combination of soccer and US Football. Not quite sure what they were playing, but they were all filthy and drenched with sweat. Lovely. But so happy.

But the next morning, Sam was sick again. Pediatrician put both boys on a second round of antibiotics (Micah's cough was already going into its third week, and Sam was absolutely no better after 10 days of zithromax). Unfortunately for Micah, he's allergic to Penicillin and can't swallow pills (and doesn't weigh very much anyway), so he has to take liquid meds. He's VERY sensitive to flavors, so I have them really strongly "grape" anything, but he still hates the taste.

Fortunately, the meds made both of them better for the rest of the week (although Sam's sick again today! Fever, aches, etc. UGH!).

Wednesday we celebrated Tashlich with the day school community. It's one of the best yearly activities. We all gather at school, and then walk down the street to the park, where there is a river. We reflect on the past year, and the kids write down their wishes for the coming year. ALWAYS the weather is great!

After Taslich, it was an early release day. The 7th graders all walked down to the local pizza place (we're trying to give them some more independence), while 5 or 6 mommies took about 20 kids (lots of extras) to Panera for lunch. It was fun. I drove 4 kids to Panera, got rid of one, picked up Sam and M, so I brought my two and two extras home (after driving M home). The two who came over are siblings, and their mom came for Rosh Hashanah dinner that night. It was nice to have company for the holiday, even if it was a last minute plan.

We didn't go to services at night, since they didn't start until 8pm, but we were there bright and early the next morning. This was my first time going the whole holiday as a congregant in a very long time. Mostly I liked it, although I miss singing. We sit in the Tent - there are 900 people in Sanctuary/Social Hall, and "only" about 400 in the tent, many of us the Shabbat regulars. It was nice. I really love my Temple Israel "family".

I hate going to Childrens' Service with Sofia, but David and I took turns, which was ok. I also got a last minute shofar-blowing assignment; I'm not satisfied with how I did, but I guess it was ok.

After services, our friend K and his 4 kids came over (wife home recuperating from knee surgery). Good to see him. I made brisket and chicken and soup and things like that. Laura and Lilie arrived a little later in the afternoon, and we all collapsed into naps - the weather was very overcast all day, which does not make it easy to wake up! Missed the real Tashlich service, but that's ok, since it monsooned during that time anyway.

Friday services were fun. I love watching Sofia and Lilie together. They love being together, and they get along better than friends, more like siblings who aren't fighting. It's sweet. They hold hands, they consult with each other, they play together, they copy each other. Since the tent was even less crowded on Friday, the girls sat nicely with us in services until it was time for Laura to take them upstairs for the Childrens' Service. Sofia, on both days, did a lot of dancing during services. I especially liked her Dance Interpretation of the Shema.

Sam wore his suit both days, and looked SO handsome. I wasn't the only one who thought so - he was generally flanked by several young ladies from USY. Sweet. He helped lead Ashrei on Friday with other 6&7th graders. Micah, meanwhile, ran around with his gang most of the time. I know they did go to their age service, but I frequently spotted them outside, too. I'm just glad they are so comfortable there, and I am comfortable letting them be on their own.

We went to our friends' house for our annual lunch, and had a wonderful time as always. Got home around 5, and at 6 another set of friends came over to celebrate Shabbat (VERY light dinner - gefilte fish and soup only!).

Saturday, we went with my friend N and her kids up to Salem, to the Peabody Essex Museum and then walking around Salem. Fun. And yesterday we went to the Big E, in Springfield. Also fun! I'm SO tired now!

I promise more pictures and more stories about the weekend, but I need to go get Sofia from public and bring her to the day school!

A New Week

2011-09-19T11:28:00.003-04:00

Friday was a little smoother, but not before I got in a fight with my mother. So that's been hanging over my head all weekend. But it is what it is.

Friday evening, instead of a real Shabbat dinner, I let me wonderful friends talk me into joining them at a local Chinese restaurant. There were 14 of us (yeah, David made it home from Israel in time!), so it would have been too crowded to pull off a last-minute Shabbat at home. It was fun, but LOUD, and crazy. Who told us to have all these kids?!

Sofia was wearing her new tutu, which I had bought that afternoon in preparation for the dance class she will hopefully be taking.

She wore it all evening into the restaurant, but fortunately I convinced her to change before dinner was served :)

Saturday morning we went to shul. I attempted to get Sofia to stay in one of the childrens' services. She just could not concentrate. First we went to the K-2 class, where one of her MWJDS classmates was. No go. She was too busy moving books around and ordering people to change their seats. So I took her to the preschool service, which she usually does ok at. No such luck. She would not pay attention, kept requesting the Gummy Bear song, and was too wild for the littler kids. I ended up with her and Micah out in the courtyard, throwing leaves down the storm drain.

It was interesting to see. I'm not sure if she's just wild now because she's getting used to Kindergarten schedule, and needs more down-time than she's getting. Or is this another major shift, a split between her and her peers?

That afternoon was Ashland Day, the town carnival/event. There are booths advertising all the local businesses, booths for all the school activities, and a bunch of bounce house type rides. Sofia had a grand time on one of the slides, going over and over and over again. But she could not concentrate on anything else. Many classmates and school friends came up to say hi to her, but she would generally not acknowledge them.

The nice thing about Ashland Day is that the boys can go off with their friends. Sam had three of his best buddies, who both go to the public school, so he took off immediately. It took Micah a little longer before he found his friend, but once J arrived, they took off together. We made the boys bring their own money, although I did buy lunch for Micah. Sam was completely independent, and very happy. Ah, cell phones!

Sam's friend came back to the house with us, and when his mom arrived, I invited them both to stay for dinner. She's a wonderful lady, and an old friend of mine, too (her kids attended the day school for a few years in the early grades). It was nice to get to see her again.

Sunday, David took Sofia to TWO birthday parties. It was a busy day! Again, Sofia had a lot of trouble concentrating on much, and was very easily distracted. I hope this is just a "getting used to the new year" thing.

I dropped Micah at J's house, and they went to MiniGolf with Kadima (the junior youth group from the synagogue). He had fun, despite having a massive allergy attack the night before (from pollen). Poor kid. If I could "fix" anything about any of my children, it would be Micah's allergies, no question.

Sam came with me as my helper to teach a tzitzit tying workshop at the Reform synagogue in Framingham. It went well, although much faster than the two and a half hours they had scheduled. I was glad to have Sam with me; he was a good helper. And his friend's cousin was in the class, so he knows her.

As soon as the class was done, I got a blinding migraine. Had to wait int he parking lot until I could drive! So home to nap under a dark blanket. David took Micah into Newton to pick up kosher Chinese food for dinner - yum. Lots of leftovers for tonight, too.

Taught three classes in half an hour this morning! Gotta figure out the schedule better. Of to pick up Miss Sofia for her transition from public to day school now.

Here's a slide show from the past couple of weeks:

That Didn't Go As Planned...

2011-09-15T20:37:00.002-04:00

Well, today was an "epic fail". Thursday is supposed to be my day for myself. I had planned to get errands done in the morning, including a manicure/pedicure, then do a yoga class at noon and then meet up with a friend for a few hours.

Well, first I was awake 2am - 3:30 because of Miss Sofia again.

Got the kids to school, blew shofar at the day school (we blow shofar every morning for the month before Rosh Hashanah).

Drove off, thinking I would run a couple of errands before the nail place opened at 9.

And noticed that the Temperature gauge on my car was all the way to maximum H. :(

My air conditioner has been failing for the past several weeks, which I was mostly ignoring. Then I realized that it also controlled the defroster, which I could not ignore. Last week I'd done a price check at the place I usually go. I had planned to go tomorrow to another place near home.

Well, fortunately last night I'd spotted a coupon for an AC Recharge, and had it with me. So off I went to Direct Tire in Natick.

And waited a while, before realizing it would take another hour or so before they even knew what was going on.

Not wanting to miss out on my mani/pedi, I walked to a different place - Nails & Co. in Sherwood Plaza. Nice place, but pricier than Nails 2000 or Tokyo Nails.

At least I got my mani/pedi mostly done before Direct Tire called back.

Large hole in Radiator. Radiator - and associated hoses and things - needed to be replaced.

With the coupon, it all came to.... $1398.00. Yup. Unplanned expense.

AND... they needed the car until 4:30 pm.

Which meant I had to swap a carpool for the boys (thanks, M!). And figure out Sofia.

Fortunately, my friend who I'd planned to see came up anyway. We met at the mall, had lunch, shmeid around, then went to pick up Miss Sofia at school. Home, watched Shrek (and I fell asleep - second time I've fallen asleep on a playdate this week!).

When the boys got home, I got all three kids settled, and my friend drove me back to Natick to get my car. I LOVE that Sam is old enough that I can leave them all home for a quick errand! Still wouldn't leave them at night (speaking of which, can anyone babysit on Tuesday night next week?!). But for daytime, it's a big help.

Got the car, paid the money. At least now it's working (well, except I still need to get the transmission fluid changed - this is the third place that's told me to do that).

Home, to a MISERABLE 12 year old. He can't do his homework by himself, but id I don't do all the reading and writing for him, then he doesn't think I am helping him. And if I ask what he needs and he doesn't answer, and I start doing something else, like playing with Sofia or making dinner, then he gets angry. And he wanted to clean up the basement RIGHT NOW so he can move down there and get his own room, 'cause he's the ONLY one in his class (of 6) who has to share a bedroom.

Oh, woe is me. Get over it, kid!

Nope. MISERABLE. Culminating in his swearing at his brother, and then me taking his phone away. Indefinitely.

So, I would like to go to sleep now, and have an easy day tomorrow. OK?

Endless Day

2011-09-14T22:53:00.002-04:00

I think it's Wednesday, right? But didn't Wednesday start 48 hours ago? Or more?

It's been a long, slow, busy week. Let's see....

Friday evening I took Sofia and Micah and his friend to dinner with the rest of friend's family. Little crazy - restaurant was too loud and every one in our party got a bit antsy. But it was still fun, and nice to see the parents (my friends) being really goofy and happy together.

David got back from the Berkshires around 11, having brought Sam to the bat mitzvah girls' house and had dinner there. He said all the girl cousins were "flipping their hair" at Sam!

Saturday morning, I took Micah to shul, but David took Sofia to the Learning Program, a special reading program for kids with Down syndrome. He really wants her to do it, so he gets to give up shul and take her...

Afternoon, my friend and her son came for a playdate with me and Micah. Evening, I finally got to ride in the new toy (David has a "company car"...the kind of car you get if you are already married to your "trophy wife". ) David and I went to Providence, to my favorite restuarant on Atwells Ave, Potenza (ok, the name changes every time we are there, but it's Chef Walter's place). It was lovely to be out with my hubby, on a gorgeous night. We had a really nice time.

Sunday I had to leave with the kids early to go get Sam. David stayed home, because he had to leave at noon for the airport. He's back in Israel for the week. I drove out to the Berkshires, got Sam, and took the kids to the Hancock Shaker Village. It was nice. Ice cream and a bite for lunch, before heading home.

Instead of going straight home, we went directly to Chabad for a Shofar Workshop. The boys got to make their own shofars! Very cool. I spent a lot of time bouncing between the boys and Sofia, who was eating dinner in the cafe. Fortunately, I knew a lot of people there, so I could leave her under someone else's watch for a few minutes at a time.

We were all so tired when we got home that night!

Monday was a "normal" school day - I went in to Sam's class and the kindergarten in the morning. Sam had tutoring after school, so I took the others for ice cream while we waited. In the evening, Micah had his first piano lesson, with a new teacher who comes to our house. YEAH!

Tuesday morning Sofia woke at about 4am, and wandered around for a while. I finally got her back to sleep at 5am. Today she woke at 2am for a while. I am SO tired now!

Yesterday was actually sort of easier. In the morning, I had to pull Micah out for a while to go for a skin checkup. Then I had to teach first and fifth grades - both went well. And I did not have to pick up the boys, they went with the carpool. So I was able to relax a little bit. Took the kids for sushi.

Today was just endless. Like I said, woke at 2am for a while with Sofia. I think it's a combination of her belly hurts (I gave Miralax this morning; hopefully tonight will be better) and just adjusting to a long school day. I have to blow shofar every morning at school right after drop-off. Then today I had to go get the invitations for my grandmother's 100th birthday party run off. Then worked out, and then came home and fell asleep for an hour! A few more errands, including stopping at the local ballet studio....

Hopefully Sofia will be doing a special needs dance class called Perpetual Motion on Tuesday afternoons. They need 5 kids to sign up in order to have the class. So spread the word!

Picked up Sofia, raced back to the day school. Today's session with Micah's class was better, because I was stricter (so was their teacher). Also made them all afraid. I'm trying to teach them the Torah service, and I said that at the next All School Tefillah they would have to lead it. They paid attention after that!

Then I went in to the kindergarten, to do a shofar workshop with them (including Sofia! although she was so tired, she spent most of my time rolling on the floor looking at a Barbie book). I brought three of our shofars in, and let each kid try to blow them. Thank heavens for alcohol wipes! It was fun.

Raced to shul, to make sure we actually have everything reserved properly for Sam's bar mitzvah. Apparently (as I'd discovered yesterday) we did not! So I'm a little nervous. It should be ok, but we have to find out about the tent I want to put in the courtyard, which is even more necessary now that there is an aufruf (blessings before a wedding) with an equally large family that same morning. So there will be just ghastly amounts of people!

Back to get Sofia, who left kindergarten early and sat quietly in the car with me waiting for the boys. Got Sam a buzz cut (his choice) and got Sofia's bangs trimmed. Got a snack for Micah, then dropped him at his gymnastics. Then off to Sofia's gym. Sam and I tried going to the post office, but the desk at Trolley Square closes at 4:31 - and the postman there is VERY nasty - and we got stuck in bad traffic trying to get to the office on Route 30. So I will mail the invitations tomorrow :(

Got Sofia, got Micah, got home. Did not realize both my bnai mitzvah students would be showing up, but that went well. They actually prefer to work together, which is good. Then dinner for the kids, bedtime for Sofia, dinner for me, clean up, and now it's 11:15. Good Night already!

Oh, but one more thing: At the beginning of the month, I was the featured interviewee in the Jewish Family Service of MetroWest's newsletter! Here is the interview

Francine Ferraro Rothkopf:
The Gift of Community
by Julie Wolf, JFN Newsletter Editor

Synagogue, school, and Internet -- all provide Francine Ferraro Rothkopf with a sense of community that sustains her. A longtime resident of the Metrowest area, she and her husband, David, live in Ashland with their three children, Samuel (12), Micah (almost 10), and Sofia (6 1/2), who has Trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down syndrome. In this interview, Francine talks about the value of community in her family's life.

Your maiden name is Ferraro -- not exactly a common Jewish name. Were you born Jewish, or are you a Jew by choice?

This is one of those weird family stories: I have a picture of my paternal grandparents on their first date. On the back is written "The Future Mr. & Mrs. Langer." It wasn't until they had dated for a full year that my grandmother found out Grandpa's last name was really Ferraro! Having grown up in the Garment District in New York, Grandpa spoke better Yiddish than most people, and could "pass" well enough for the times, and he'd really wanted to date her. Of course, once it was discovered that he was not actually Jewish, there was upheaval on both sides. ... My great-grandparents stopped being observant once my grandparents married, and it wasn't until my father explored his own intellectual curiosity of Judaism, and later married my mother, from a traditional Jewish home, that we brought Judaism back solidly into the family.

My parents were very committed to their involvement in our small synagogue in Bristol, Conn., and I think that is where I began to develop my obsession with community. But for sure, having a last name like "Ferraro" was always amusing, especially on synagogue and USY letterhead. ...

Your daughter, Sofia, was born with Trisomy 21, or Down syndrome. As the mother of a child with Trisomy 21, what have you found to be some of the misconceptions about the syndrome?

... Down syndrome affects people of all ages, races, and economic levels. Although a woman's chances of having a child with DS increase after age 35, more live births of children with DS are to younger women, because older women are more likely to have prenatal testing, and more likely to abort. Approximately 92 percent of prenatal diagnoses of Down syndrome are aborted.

That last sentence gets to the heart of problem. OB/GYNs still present a diagnosis of Down syndrome as a terrible tragedy, and are not always quick to provide accurate, up-to-date information. The diagnosis is no longer terrible. I acknowledge that, had I been born with that extra chromosome back in the mid-1960s, I probably would have been put in an institution. But the world Sofia and her peers face is so vastly different. With preventative medical treatments (children with DS faced increased risk of cardiac issues, childhood leukemia, thyroid problems, hearing or vision loss, skeletal problems, and a few other issues), people with Down syndrome are able to live healthier, longer lives. With the developmental and academic supports, such as those provided by Early Intervention and Special Education services, they are able to accomplish amazing things. Early support (EI showed up in our home when Sofia was only three weeks old!) is key. Think about how much a typical baby grows and learns in the first few years; children with the developmental delays associated with the extra chromosome need extra help to achieve those milestones. ...

The world of Special Needs Mommies on the Internet is bursting with love and support and cheer. I have friends now from all over the world; on our recent trip to Israel we were able to visit with friends there. I hear about the struggles friends go through in other states and realize we are very lucky to live in Massachusetts, where both the medical care and the education are available. My "DS Mommies," both near and far, are a terrific resource for parenting Sofia.

This year Sofia is starting full-day kindergarten in Ashland, but she'll also be attending the MetroWest Jewish Day School. What were some of the special arrangements that went into enrolling Sofia at MWJDS?

I am SO excited about this! I have been involved with MWJDS from the very, very beginning, so I always knew I wanted all my children to go there. When I got my prenatal diagnosis for Sofia, I was very clear: Sofia would be attending the school when she was old enough. We had the incredible luck to have Carolyn Keller as head of school, because aside from her tremendous commitment to the school and Jewish education in general, she also has a grown son with Down syndrome. She knew firsthand what it was like to send two children to day school but have to send one to public school.

Sofia attended preschool in the Ashland public school system -- children with learning disabilities are entitled to a free public education beginning at age 3 (per IDEA, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). The folks in Ashland have always been aware of how much we wanted Sofia to go to MWJDS, but also of how much we want to make sure she gets all the services and supports she needs. And they have been terrific collaborators.

The idea for "partial participation" did not crystallize until this past June. Although everyone at MWJDS was committed to having Sofia become a student there, we also needed to make sure that what we did was really in Sofia's best interest. If we had to bring in all our own therapists and specialists (Sofia needs speech, occupational, and physical therapy several times per week, in addition to learning supports), the cost would be astronomical. Were I to schlep her back and forth between schools all day, she'd never have time to learn anything (and I'd be a wreck!).

So ... we developed a special curriculum [at MWJDS] for her, following the kindergarten's Judaic studies. ... [Attending two afternoons a week], she will be a full member of the kindergarten class. ... While it is too early to predict how things will develop, we are confident that this first step will be a positive one for Sofia, our school, and our community. The folks in the public school have been fantastic advocates. We are so very blessed by the whole project.

A few years back, you contributed to a book called Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives. You wrote about "The Gift of Community." What inspired you most?

... My essay is about how the folks in our community and family embraced us when we announced Sofia's diagnosis prenatally. Our wonderful friends from Temple Israel threw us a "baby seder" before Sofia was born, and people from the shul and the day school cooked us so many meals once she arrived, I think it was three months before I had to cook again! We felt so loved and protected within our community, and we were -- and still are -- so grateful for how everyone has taken part in raising Sofia.

A candid question: Do your sons ever feel that Sofia overshadows them or takes more of your time and energy than they would like?

This was my parents' big worry when we told them Sofia would have Down syndrome: "How will this affect the boys?" But kids who grow up with a sibling with special needs have more of a chance to develop qualities such as patience, kindness, supportiveness, acceptance of differences, compassion, helpfulness, empathy, dependability, and loyalty. That seemed like a pretty good "gift" to give them!

To read more about Francine and her family's recent trip to Israel, or to learn about resources geared toward families with children with special needs, visit her blog at http://fbfrothkopf.blogspot.com/.

End of the Week

2011-09-09T17:36:00.002-04:00

Yeah, we made it through the week. It was a little rough, and a lot of wet!

Let's see... the pool party on Monday was lovely fun, except Sam and A got into a terrible fight. So we have decided the families need to take a break (we can still have grown-up time!). We will keep the two kids apart as much as we can, given that they are two/thirds of their entire class!

Tuesday, I "worked" in the morning, going to tefillah (morning services) with Micah's class. Micah was the leader. Unfortunately, Micah also did not feel good at all. A few hours later, I pulled him out to go to the pediatrician. Turns out he had an ear infection. AND his thyroid was enlarged, so then I had to take him over to the hospital lab (our peds does not do blood work). Still waiting for results, which is frustrating.

Raced back to school in time to teach the 5th grade - they ROCKED, which was cool. Then back to pick up Sofia, then back to get the boys (which was insane, 'cause even picking Sofia up a few minutes early, I was very late for the boys).

We have since worked out the pickups. My friend J will pick up the boys on Tuesday, so I don't have to race, and on other days I will pick her up 20 minutes earlier. Whew.

Sofia LOVES Kindergarten! (In both schools). She even loves Breakfast Bunch. Every time I say "Kindergarten", she says "Happy". It's wonderful. And she transitioned between the two schools very very easily.

Sam hit his head on the ground at the pool on Monday (he was trying to balance between two chairs. Then he hit is head during recess on Wednesday. Then he hit his head during gym today! UGH. Massive headache, poor kid, but so far he's ok.

Wednesday was crazy. I had a dentist appointment, then race to get Sofia and bring her to the day school. Drop her and race to Micah's class for my 1:00 session with them. Micah's class was ...uh...more as I had expected them to be (DIFFICULT!) this time.

After school Wednesday (so nice to have all three kids in one place!), we drove Sam home, because he had a ton of homework, then back up to Framingham. First dropped Micah at his gymnastics place, then took Sofia to hers. Both have 4:30 - 5:30 classes. Places are 10 minutes apart... After class, picked them up, home, quick dinner, and bar mitzvah student.

Today I took my boys and my "Friday Child" (extra kid, regular Friday carpool) home, plus Micah's friend A (another A, I know...). We walked up to pick Sofia up at school - it's finally lovely out again. The kids played, and then David came home.

Now David and Sam are on their way (in David's new toy) to Western Mass, to drop Sam off at a camp friend's house. He's going to a Bat Mitzvah in Pittsfield tomorrow. So I have Micah and his friend, plus Sofia; we are meeting friend's family for dinner in a little while.

Have to go play Monopoly now...

First Week done, one more start tomorrow

2011-09-05T11:31:00.003-04:00

Wow. The first day at MWJDS was great. We all gathered in the front parking lot (the building has undergone a town-of-Framingham makeover, and we currently have no field and no playground, although playground is "on order"). Sofa was not supposed to attend in the morning, but as soon as she saw her friends in line, she joined the group. I walked in with the kindergarten class, helping out another kid.

Miss Sofia walked in the line, went to the girls' bathroom with her friends, and got back in line, walked to the classroom, found her name and put it in the right place on the board, found her desk, and worked on the first project - all without help!!! I was so proud of her!

I did pull her out after that, and we stopped in to the parent meeting in the cafeteria, where she distributed (or redistributed) car tags around the room.

Then we headed over to the public school.

Oy.

What a difference. I'm going to have to get over it. The day school encourages a warm, nurturing, welcoming environment. Public school...strives for satisfactory and standard. "We'll wait for the last family to arrive" (in silence). Poor Sofia had to be dragged in to the school. I went early, so I could go speak to the Early Care (Breakfast Bunch) ladies...although the people who were there were the After Care staff, not Breakfast bunch.

Sofia was not happy to be in school, and it was very disoriented - she is in the exact same hallway as she has been for the past three and a half years for preschool, but all the preschool folk are gone (moved to a different building) and the kindergarten has moved in.

And they join the first and second grades, sharing all the resources, including cafeteria and playground.

Kindergarten: Mrs. P's class has their snack FIRST THING IN THE MORNING (apparently because some kids don't eat breakfast...however, Sofia will have had breakfast at home AND at Breakfast Bunch by the time she gets to class.). Lunch is at 11:30. Playground break - for KINDERGARTEN - is 2:20. Dismissal is 3:10. There are 18 kids in this Inclusion classroom, and two adults. TWO adults. 18 kids. Sofia is NOT the most difficult kid.

She gets some free play time right after lunch. I'll pick her up on Mondays and Wednesdays right after that, to go to the day school. On the other three days, the assistant teacher actually leaves early, so Mrs. P is expected to handle dismissal for all 18 kids alone. So I will pick Sofia up at 3:00, which gives me just enough time to get to the day school by 3:15(ish) to get the boys.

I have to remember that it will be OK. Not fabulous. Not spectacular. Not excellent. OK. And OK in Massachusetts is still WAY BETTER than OK in many other places.

Ok.

So after kindy visit at the public school, we had a quick picnic, and then Sofia did go back to the day school and join the class for a few hours. Loved it. I was of course late for the first pickup, but she did great (but I apologize publicly to her teachers!).

Oh, and it's going to be a fine line between the relative lack of attention she'll get in the public school versus the one-on-one aide at the day school. I have to make sure we do not coddle her too much at the day school. She CAN do everything, she just needs a little guidance.

While Sofia went to kindergarten in the afternoon, I got to teach my first class! And it was Micah's class, which is the most difficult, because it's combined 3/4 grades and has a huge variety of...personalities... But I did it. Whew! And Micah was relatively well behaved.

Both boys have been really tired all week, getting back into the rhythm of school. They also are having a lot of allergy problems (this is one of the only seasons that really bothers Sam). And with the barometer being up and down, I've had a few migraines and a lot of muscle/joint problems this week. Not feeling great.

Friday night, we had Nicki and the kids and another couple from shul (who had been without power most of the week). (Oh, Friday morning, Sofia went back to MWJDS for another hour). Lovely evening. Saturday, shul, then relaxing at home (I had a migraine, so napped, while Sofia dumped all the DVD boxes...on top of me...).

yesterday we went up to the Butterfly Place in Westford. Nifty. Lots of gorgeous butterflies. But Sofia was racing through, and I spent most of the time telling her not to touch and not to blow on them! And the boys were less-than-impressed. They are in a very unenthusiastic mood recently. Not fun to be with.

Afternoon, I insisted we go to the pool for one last time. Our neighbors were there too, so the boys played with their kids, and the grownups got to talk while watching Sofia jump in over and over again. The water was very cold! But she kept going. It was nice.

Today we are off to a friend's house in the afternoon for pool party and BBQ. Kindergarten for real tomorrow, and I think I'll start teaching...

Happy Labor Day.

Starting Kindergarten!

2011-08-30T18:52:00.003-04:00

It's been a VERY busy week. I ended up getting sick last week with whatever Sofia had in Israel, so it was a very quiet and mostly uneventful last week of vacation. Micah had a great time at camp, but came home ... changed...into a misogynistic pig. Before we'd gotten all the way home, my mother had hung up on him, Sofia was yelling "Mad Micah!" and I had offered to pull over and let him walk (after he announced "I won't be helping out around the house as much any more."). Got home and fought with David and Sam. But he woke up back to normal. Whew.

Twice while he was gone, the three of us went up to school, each for different meetings. Sofia met her kindergarten teacher (and helped wash the play-food), Sam met his new reading teacher, and I had a great meeting with my new boss, the Head of School, and supervisor, the new Director of Teaching and Learning. Both of whom I've known for years: HOS used to be the music and art teacher when Sam was in kindergarten, and DTL goes to my shul.

I felt totally overwhelmed and out of my league, because they are both very learned, Judaically, but they are also both very kind. HOS gave me a great pep talk about how he thinks this is such a perfect job for me. And I met again yesterday for a long time with the DTL, and that went great.

But I have SO much to do! Have to figure out what each class learns and when, and which teachers need my help on which things. Today I met briefly with some of the teachers about it, so I'm starting to get a better sense of what is what.

Friday evening we had our Shabbat dinner as a picnic on the Natick Commons with friends. It was a lovely lovely night. And David was starting to get sick, with a head cold, so it was good to be out of the house and not stressed.

We stayed home most of Saturday - I actually went to shul by myself, which was wonderful. In the evening, we did go up to Stow to my friend's house for a nice party. It was good to see people.

Sunday was the Tropical Storm (by us; Hurricane elsewhere). We did not have any damage other than lots of branches. A tree from next door fell right across the front of our yard, stopping exactly at the edge of our driveway.

The power went out around 11am. I worked frantically on my laptop until the battery ran out. I wanted to start getting the tefillah curriculum in order.

Poor Sofia did NOT enjoy having no access to her movies! She spent most of the day saying "Watch TV?", and then decided to dump all her toys on the living room floor:

We did not get power back until around 10 am on Monday, so I spent the night listening to items in my freezer melt, but actually we did not lose much. The freezer was packed tight, so things did not melt badly.

Monday, I dropped the boys at a friends' (they all went tubing down a hill!) and Sofia at a sitter's house, and then went to school for my long meeting with the DTL. (Actually, the sitter was her daughter, Emma. And they have two cats. This will be an important detail later...)

In the afternoon, Sofia made a big pile of sticks in the front yard, from all the wind-blow. She had a grand time.

Today was the most exciting day: Kindergarten Visit! Actually, since Sofia is going to two schools, she'll do this again tomorrow. But today was at the day school.

She was SO excited this morning! We ended up getting to school early ('cause she dragged me out of the house), and when we got there, she made a bee-line for the Learning Specialist's office. And shoved me out the door with a stern "Bye, Mama!". The LS wasn't ready for her yet, so I hung around and annoyed my daughter, but eventually it was time. They had half the class come at that hour and the other half the hour before. The kids went to the classroom, and the grownups talked with the new HOS.

The nurse visited the classroom (and I think did the nit-checks), and I saw her in the hall. "Oh, Sofia was telling me all about her cat, named Emma!" Despite the confusion, I was so proud that my daughter got that much information out on her own.

The boys stayed home alone for the morning - I love being able to do that! 12 year olds can be pretty darn annoying, but that's surely a plus.

Sofia went to her friend G's house for a playdate, and I put on my teacher hat to do some work for a while. Then picked up Sofia, picked up an extra kid for a playdate with Sam, and came home.

And had an anxiety attack.

Multiple pressures:

- School is starting tomorrow
- I am starting to teach tomorrow! and I feel not so ready and very overwhelmed. And it did not help that so far I have not been "announced" with the new teachers, so I sort of feel like an imposter. It happened during the parent time this morning; all the "new staff" were introduced, but I was not mentioned.
- David is away for a few days, and...
- the driveway is getting redone tomorrow, and...
- his new "toy" is arriving tonight (a sports car - I don't want to talk about it. Suffice it to say, he's in his mid-40s.)
- October 22 is looming.

October 22? What's wrong with that?

Well, remember my friend N, whose husband tragically ended his life last April? October 22 is their son (Sam's best friend) 's Bar Mitzvah.

And it's also the date of my grandmother's 100th birthday party.

In Florida.

Up till now, my parents have fully supported that I should be at the Bar Mitzvah. Sam and I both committed to read Torah, and N keeps repeating how important our family is to them and how we have to be there.

Well, someone did not give me a chance to explain to my grandmother why I would be missing her party. Someone just told her "Francine won't be there because of some bar mitzvah."

Of course, my 99 year old grandmother was miffed. "I'm not important enough? I only turn 100 once, you know!"

I tried explaining over the phone, but 1) she doesn't hear so well, and 2) she'd already decided to be miffed.

And then my parents changed their tune. And my father called to tell me how upset he was, and that it would be enough if I just flew out after the bar mitzvah service and got to the party late. Nope, we ALL have to be at the party, at 6pm. In Florida.

So now I have to weigh two very hard things:

The RIGHT thing

vs.

Pleasing my family

Honestly, I start hunching over in pain whenever I think about this. Which is why I went in to a full-blown panic attack this afternoon.

So enough about that. David's "toy" is going to arrive in about 20 minutes. I have to go figure out what I'm going to teach Micah's class tomorrow (because their teacher has to go to her mother-in-law's funeral - in Florida - tomorrow, on the first day of school, so I have to go in for what will be my "normal" time slot with the class). Which means Sofia is starting MWJDS tomorrow!!! (And she had public school Kindy Visit in the morning!).

Here are the gorgeous pictures of Sofia playing with the sticks, and of today's event.

Oh, and a cool article about Dyslexia.

Home!

2011-08-22T10:01:00.002-04:00

The taxi arrived prompty at 8pm, to take us to Ben Gurion Airport. Our flight was not until 11:55, so we had plenty of time to check in and get everything done. Had to get the VAT Tax refund done, get some dinner for everyone, and look at the Duty Free shops. (I almost got fooled - saw the same yad - Torah pointer - Micah had bought, but for "50" and in better condition. Turned out all prices were in US$, so that was WAY more than the 85NIS I'd paid.).

Sofia was not feeling well again, and still refused to eat. Fortunately she slept most of hte time on the airplane, and also fortunately I had three overnight diapers for her. She did drink a lot of water (resulting in completely soaked through pjs), which was good.

The flight, although smooth,was possibly the worst international flight crew I have EVER seen. Really had no idea how to interact with people (and especially with children). It did not affect the Rothkopf family directly - our kids are very good and quiet on planes, and slept most of the time), other than not having our Kosher meal request listed. But as frequent travelers, David and I were appalled at the flight crew's behavior.

The woman who made the Safety announcements in English seemed to be only semi-literate, and kept mispronouncing words (my favorite was "we'll be dumming the lights"). She also gave the wrong flight number (said "979" instead of "797"), which resulted in half the forms for customs being filled out incorrectly (I had a long chat with the customs guy when we arrived in Philly).

They also managed to break our stroller! UGH. When we got to Boston, we filed a claim. David will bring the broken stroller back next week when he goes on his next flight, and they will "try to repair it" (not possible, the aluminum post is completely chopped in half) or offer a replacement.

The bathrooms on the flight were beyond disgusting, and that was from the start of the flight. David composed a letter to the CEO of US Airways, listing all the complaints. Appalling.

Sofia continued ot be feverish throughout the flight, so I guess it was good that she slept most of the time. In Philly, I found some Children's Advil in the store, and it took three of us to hold her down to get the liquid into her. However, that was the turning point. I did speak to the pediatrician once we landed in Boston, but she has been clearly on the mend since we got home. Whew.

I'd called Tommy's Taxi from Logan, and the dispatcher said to give another call when the Logan Express bus got to the ramp in Framingham. Which I did. And we waited half an hour for the promised van - finally taking a JFK van instead. Cleaner, nicer, and actually there (we think we saw the Tommy's van pull in as we headed down the road...).

Home by 11:30 am. Unpacking, laundry, showers, and figuring out life. David and Sam went to David's office for a few hours, while Micah and I finished packing for camp.

I took Micah to the bus at 7am today (my brain was so muddled, I actually got lost going to the JCC in Newton!) for his three nights at Camp Kingswood's Gesher program. I think I am more nervous than he is. At least he knew one other kid, a girl from MWJDS, two grades below him. I was a nervous wreck driving home after the bus left.

I got upset yesterday when I called my grandmother. Apparently some well-meaning relative told her I was NOT coming to her 100th birthday party, but without explaining in detail the reason why. Which is not just "a bar mitzvah", but "the bar mitzvah of Sam's best friend, whose father, one of David's best friends, committed suicide this fall. The bar mitzvah where both Sam and I are reading Torah, and where our whole family is needed to help my dear friend and her children celebrate a joyous occasion while mourning a sudden and mentally violent loss."

So I tried to tell this to my grandmother on the phone, but she does not hear so well. I had intended to write her a long letter about this once I received confirmation of the party date...which I did not receive until after we arrived in Israel. So I will be writing a letter to her today, but I'm already the worst granddaughter in the universe.

Which I guess would be easier to handle if I was not so jet-lagged, worried about my children, and withdrawing from my meds (I stopped taking my "mother's helper" in J'lem). Ugh.

So now it's 10:15, I'm blogging and catching up on emails, Micah is still on the bus to Maine, Sam is supposed to be reading but is probably playing on his ipod, and Sofia is watching "Mulan" while spreading tea party items throughout my room. And refusing to wear a shirt, although she does have on a very pretty skirt.

I have to nap...

Shabbat afternoon, Aug 20

2011-08-20T09:33:00.005-04:00

(A final shot from Ein Gedi):

Well, I go to sleep after 2am, and woke back up at 3:30. Sofia was barfing and pooping and feverish again :(

Stayed up several hours with her, and then we finally passed on the couch for a few hours. So we made Friday an “easy” day. No specific plans, other than to get last-minute gifts. I went out around 9 to take two unexpected loads of laundry in (the guy said he could finish them by 12:30 but not folded. No problem.) David and meandered the area for an hour, while the boys stayed home and watched a movie with their sister, who had perked up a bit after sleeping.

After noon, we all walked up and down the shopping streets of King George, Ben Yehuda and Yafo area. Stores close at 4pm on Friday, and we wasted at least 45 minutes in a “BurgerBar” fast food place. Got my father-in-law a tallit (per his request) and managed to find my own father a “distinctively Israeli” kippah, with Jerusalem Lions on it.

Sofia did not want to eat or drink much all day, but at least her fever went away. She did go through many pair of underpants, and fortunately I had a few spare pull-ups for her, too.

Came back to rest and shower at 4. And try to find a ride to the airport. Unfortunately, the Nesher Taxi (shared van, sort of like “Knight’s Limo” back home) offices are closed on Shabbat, and I should have booked on Thursday. By the time I reached someone, the 8pm van only had room for 1 person.

Twenty minutes before Shabbat starts, there is a loud alarm, letting people know it’s almost time. I was at that moment just about to leave the house in search of an ATM. Needed money to pay for the last night in the apartment (we had not reserved it, expecting to go somewhere with the Levy clan, but they could not find anything with room for everyone), and to get to the airport tonight. Of course, I walked in the wrong direction and did NOT find an ATM, so I raced back to light candles, and then we packed up the kids and walked back out. Got cash, and then caught a cab to Eli’s parents’ house, where we had another lovely Shabbat dinner (and this time his brother and two of the boys were also there).

We finally all slept in this morning! It helped that there is far less noise on Shabbat (many fewer cars, for a start), and Sofia finally felt better. But we did miss going to shul. I had considered going to Shirat Hadasha, a minyan in the German Colony that is”Egalitarian Orthodox”, or we would have gone back to the Masorti shul from last week. But both services started at 8:30, and some people in this family did not even get out of bed until 9:45.

So we took our time, packing and cleaning up. And trying to find transportation to the airport for tonight. I tried several cab companies. Thank G-d I finally found one, who will pick us up at 8pm (flight’s at 11:30, but it takes about an hour to get there). We finally left that house at noon. And walked. And walked. And walked.

Can I just say, it is HOT today!

We headed toward the German Colony (which David had deemed “too far” to walk to shul). We walked through the German Colony (passing the shul). We walked into another neighborhood. Then back to the German Colony. All the while, drinking not enough water (we buy the large bottles and keep them in the freezer, then drink the “melt”) and arguing a lot.

The Forced March got to be a bit too much for me, so I took Micah and Sofia in a cab, and David and Sam insisted on walking back. Sam’s so funny. He won’t wear a kippah, but he won’t get into a cab on Shabbat.

Came home, made lunch with the few leftovers (my new favorite, scrambled egg in pita). Sofia settled in to watch movies, the boys played, and David and I both napped.

Sofia just actually ate something, first time in three days, so I took the chance to get on my computer. But she’s done now, and insisting on watching her movies. (Actually, she’s standing next to me, pretending to type!) The boys are being very silly - Micah just locked Sam’s wrists up with the bike chain from the front porch grate. Prior to that, Sam had been hiding himself in the cabinet.

We are looking forward to coming home. I am looking forward to clean feet (the floors in this apartment are rather dingy) and also to going to the gym. Despite all the walking (and sweating), I think I’ve gained about 15 pounds from all the yummy food!

Adrin's Bat MItzvah Party in Israel

2011-08-18T18:07:00.008-04:00

Wow! Awesome party.

It took us half an hour to catch a cab on King George, which caused a bit of stress, but we were by no means the last people to arrive. The Krispins were already there, so the boys had Adiel and Itamar to hang out with.

Debka, Adrin and Avia all looked absolutely beautiful. They’d had their hair and nails done, and had stunning dresses, and looked so happy.

The only word I can use to describe the evening is LOVE. Eli has a big family. His brother Coby, and sisters Peninah and Racheli, all have a bunch of kids. All the first cousin kids had recorded messages to Adrin, and then recorded a song!

Back in the States, Adrin had recorded her speech, in Hebrew. The function hall was a typical reception hall, what we might call a wedding factory back home. 4 small and 2 large screens showed a continuous slide show of photos, plus Adrin’s speech. The entertainment staff was ample, and camera and video staff always in everyones’ face. Music was loud and exuberant.

Just about every time I looked at Debka or Adrin, I started to cry with happiness. The word JOY also popped into my head a lot. I had a beautiful conversation with Peninah, and hugs from Eli’s mom, Savta Geulah.

The boys (all four of them), kept mostly to themselves. Micah and Adiel had fun hanging out, and Sam hung with Itamar. My boys were tired from today, although Micah perked up considerably after dinner (and a Coke!).

Sofia was still very tired. As soon as we arrived, she latched on to Eli, until I could tempt her away with sushi! She only ate the rice, and only tiny bits. Later, for the appetizer, she had a few bites of mashed potato. But at least she drank water. She’d slept until 7, when I woke her up for a quick shower, and she had a fever. I managed to get more Tylenol into her, so by the time we arrived, she felt a little better, but she was still groggy and quiet most of the evening. Not sure what’s wrong with her, but her tummy is a little better, at least. Just not much appetite (which for sure means something is wrong!).

We sat with the Krispin family, and had a nice time talking with Ella and Shlomi while the boys played. I danced with Debka and Adrin a lot. Micah eventually got on the dance floor. Sam had to be forced - Adrin asked me to tell all the boys (at least my two and Adiel) that she would be horribly shamed in front of her Israeli family if her friends from the US did not dance. So we got Sam out there a couple of times, but not with enthusiasm. Which made me want to cancel his Bar Mitzvah DJ party...

We finally left around midnight. I’ve had just enough caffeine to get me through sorting the pictures. Here are the best!

Thursday August 18

2011-08-18T11:56:00.005-04:00

Well, things did not start too well. At 3:30 am, I woke up to a car alarm shrieking outside. Then my brain sorted out the other noises and realized that Sofia was crying.

She had a bad belly ache, and eventually a fever! I was up with her for about an hour and a half, and then fell asleep on her bed for a hour. I finally managed to get some tylenol into her at 6:30, when David’s alarm went off.

So I was pretty groggy all day. But we got out of the house at 8am, and met our tour driver, Moti Barness. First he took us alongside the Old City, up to the Mount of Olives. The kids all rode on a donkey, which an interesting thing to do at 8:30 in the morning. But they actually all enjoyed it. And they all said “no” to riding the camel!

After some touring through that area of Jerusalem, we headed out toward Ein Gedi. First stop was a Greek Orthodox Monastery, where we hiked, with the aide of a donkey (and his handler, Yusef) to the edge of the cliff overlooking this 5th century wonder. Amazing to think of how it was built, and it’s still in use.

Micah and Sofia and I got head scarves, but at the top of the hill, the scarf guy turned around and demanded payment, 50 NIS for each. So I only bought one, which Sofia wore (very prettily). She loved riding on the donkey, and called herself Princess Fiona (the Shrek movies are amongst her favorites).

After that, we headed toward the Dead Sea area. Came to a rest spot at Sea Level, very interesting. Then stopped at a rest stop (called “Almog”, which was funny because we know a kid named Almog at home), and then continued on toward Ein Gedi.

Sofia kept falling asleep in the car, and was fairly adamant about staying in her stroller, so I decided I would stay outside Wadi David, the Nature Reserve, while the guys went in. I have to admit, I’m jealous. The pictures look beautiful. But Sofia and I hung out, had popsicles, and she watched some of her movies on my iPhone while I read my book (I got “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” out of the library for my Nook!).

When the guys came back, we had our picnic lunch (last night’s leftovers), and then drove to the Dead Sea swim area. It was a very steep walk down, and only half the way was paved, so it was interesting getting the stroller around. And Miss Sofia wasn’t cooperating - she wanted just to sleep.

Swam in the Dead Sea, which is such an interesting experience. Any cuts you might have really burn, so Micah had trouble with his eczema and David with the scraped elbow from his hike in the Wadi. Sofia did NOT like the warm, salty water, and then got some on her face when she tried to get out. So I had to carry her back up the hill to the shower. Fortunately, the kids on the Birthright tour that was there were very nice and let her get in the shower right away, and helped keep Micah and Sofia amused. I went back down for another “swim” with Sam. Then back up the hill, showers, and up to the parking area to change and find Moti (who was having his lunch while we swam).

Drove back toward Jerusalem. He pulled in down a side road near the top of the Dead Sea, and convinced a (very young) soldier to let us through into the Army area (as we drove through the gate, we saw another soldier come to yell at the first). Could see the border with Jordan, right outside our car window. And although we’d had to go through a gate to get in, we drove straight out onto the road on the other side of the area!

Back to Jerusalem in time for rush hour. Stopped at the Dan Hotel so Micah could use the bathroom. Sofia slept most of the way in, and had been sleeping since we got back to the apartment. David and Sam took a quick walk to the Hemp store around the corner (David loves Hemp pants, and both my hemp handbags are ripped), while I loaded the pictures and Micah and I both took our showers.

So here are all the photos from today's trip, plus a few from yesterday.

Time to get Miss Sofia awake and washed, and David into the shower, to get ready for the Bat Mitzvah tonight. This should be FUN. But I do wish I’d been able to sleep more (I snoozed a bit in the car).

Wednesday Evening

2011-08-17T15:57:00.003-04:00

Whew, what a day. I had gone out at 8am to pick up the laundry and my breakfast begeleh, and then again to go find an Internet cafe where we could print something. We had reserved tickets for the Time Elevator, but needed the printed receipt. I had found two places on the web that said they had printing, but one was closed at that hour. I stopped in to a little art gallery to ask directions, and the women there (who spoke “the mameloshen” [mother tongue], English- usually that's what we call Hebrew) were kind enough to let me use their computer and printer!

I ended up in the store for about 45 minutes, making friends with the shop owner, Suri, a wonderful lady originally from New York. We traded miracle stories about our children. My story was about how when I was a teenager in Israel, we’d visited Ma’on Latinook, a home for children with DS, and it had made such an impression on me, and when I was creating the Weaning Ceremony for Sofia, I’d found reference to that place, which I had not heard about in 25 years!

Her story was cool: her son is adopted from Mexico (he’s in his 30s now). First, they had gone to adopt along with another lady, and had expected their son to go to that lady and they would have gotten hers. But the Mexican officials assigned them this way, and it turns out her son has the same birthday as her! Just after his Bar Mitzvah, he developed kidney failure. There was about 0 chance of her being a match, but ... not only was her blood type the same (and an uncommon type), but the antibodies matched by more than 50%. The doctor said that if he did not know them personally, he would have sworn from the testing that she was his birth mother. She was a perfect match!

So I returned home after an hour, with a new friend and some wonderful stories. We as a family did not get out until around noon. Stopped for some pizza and juice, and headed to the Time Elevator . It was very cool. Topol, the famous Israeli star (he played Tevya in the movie “Fiddler on the Roof”) was the star and narrator, which in itself was enough to bring me to tears. It was a motion-ride, pretending to plummet down underneath Jerusalem to Biblical times, and then travel through the centuries to modern day. Many moments of tears. This darn city brings out so much emotion!

Sofia LOVED it. I was worried she would be afraid, but not only did she keep her headphones on the whole time, she waved me off when I tried to protect her from jostling against the safety bar. She was very happy. I loved it, too, and I think the boys all enjoyed it. Micah had a lot of questions, starting with who Topol’s character was supposed to be. The first “story” in the film is about when King Solomon had to decide which woman was the mother of a new baby, so he ordered the baby split in half and the birth mother said the other woman could have him (so Solomon knew that was the birth mother, as she would not have wanted her son killed). According to the film, Solomon blessed the child with Eternal Life, so he could then be the narrator of this experience. The melding of Biblical myth and pure make-believe did not make sense to Micah.

After the Time Elevator, we headed to the Italian Synagogue & Museum, which was lovely. Then we went back to the art gallery I’d been to in the morning, and bought a few nice gifts and souvenirs. We got a copy of BÜNTING'S CLOVER-LEAF MAP, 1581 for us.

Then we walked more, eventually stopping for lunch at a Shwarma place on HaMalka (poor Micah is stuck with eating a lot of french fries when we go to meat places, since he does not like meat and is allergic to the hummus and tahini in the salads).

Meandered our way around the shopping area of Ben Yehuda Street and its branches. Sam found the tallit he wants for his Bar Mitzvah. The price was good (a little over $100US, but with no bag), and I found a lovely yarmulke for me - which unfortunately disappeared before we got home! Seriously, we have no idea where it could be. Sam and I raced back to the store, and the guy was kind enough to give me another similar one, although we could not find an exact match. I’m still upset about it.

Got a few little things - picked up some hair product requested by a friend from shul, got Sofia a kerchief (in a Princess bag, no less!), and some other little tchotchkes. Got home late (and then Sam and I had to run back for the kippah).

Made arrangements for tomorrow. We are taking a private tour to Ein Gedi and the Dead Sea. The guy is coming at 8am to pick us up. It will be much better this way - we can make sure to see what we want to see, and we can take things at our own pace. At a certain point (like after 4 people), bus tours start costing more than private anyway. And this way we will be sure to be back with plenty of time to prepare for the Bat Mitzvah party, which is in the evening.

We went out for a quick dinner well after 8pm, and I was really cranky and tired. Sofia fell asleep in her chair before she ate anything, and the rest of us could only eat half our meals, so we’ll have plenty for lunch tomorrow!

I’m still grouchy, because I just checked our home voicemail (love that Xfinity app for the iPhone!) and got sort of a nasty-gram from the public school Extended Day program. I need Sofia in Breakfast Bunch, so I can get the boys to school on time. I’d called the first week in August, but the woman who runs it was away. Several days after I called, someone else called back, and said she would be sure to have the other woman call me on Monday Aug. 8. Well, of course she called on Aug 9, about 2 hours before we left for the airport. She said she would email me the application information, but the email did not arrive until after we were at Logan, so I had not even opened it. I intended to take care of it when we returned next week.

Her voicemail was very ... not welcoming... and basically said that since she had not received a security deposit yet she assumed we did not need the service. I emailed her back, explaining the above, and thanking her “for making our transition to the public school community as easy and welcoming as possible.” Grr.

But now I’m wondering if there is any other way to work out mornings. And I really don’t want to be dealing with this right now.

So I have to go to sleep. Only took a few photos today, but I’m sure we’ll have PLENTY tomorrow!

---

UPDATE: Just got a nice apology email from the Extended Lady, acknowledging that she'd dropped the ball on this and had not taken appropriate notes, but that I should relax and enjoy vacation. Whew!

Aug 17 Mid-week Observations

2011-08-17T02:01:00.001-04:00

Just some observations about Israel:

* People do not say “No” here to questions such as “do you have...”, “do you sell...”, “do you know...”. Instead, they get very vague and mumble (more) and wave their hands and walk away.

* But there are more friendly people here. I get more response to my “Boker Tov” (good morning) here than I would at home.

* Today is Wednesday, and suddenly the greeting has changed a bit. Rather than “Boker Or” (the typical response to “boker tov” - boker means morning, tov means good, Or means light), today people are saying Shavua Tov (a good week) or Kol Tuv (all good). I am used to hearing Shavua Tov on Saturday night and maybe on Sunday, but wondering why the greeting switches midway through the week. Or perhaps I am just talking to different people?

* I have found my favorite breakfast: Turkish coffee (with milk and sugar) with a “bagele matok”, sort of a cross between a pretzel, a bagel and a pastry, sweet, with sesame seeds on top (sorry, Micah). YUM!

* There are cars, and all cars have horns. Most of the time, Israelis are very laid back about time. But not when they are the second or third car back behind a red light that suddenly turns green! They make Boston drivers look like country bumpkins.

* I am trying to speak Hebrew as much as possible, and rehearsing phrases in my head, to see if I can figure things out in advance of a conversation. But I don’t think the boys are doing so. For the most part they have not needed to. The Rabinowitz family is originally from Australia, so the kids speak perfect English, with the Levy clan, Adrin will translate for Sam, her cousin Alon speaks English fairly well, and Micah and Avia are tending to stay out of conversations, and last night with the Krispins, both boys of course speak English (having gone to school in the States). I’m doing all the commerce, dealing with the taxi drivers, ordering the food. David manages on his own when he travels, but he’s mostly leaving the conversations to me.

* We probably did not need Sofia’s car seat, since there has not been one single ride so far where she’s had her own seat. She sits on a lap in the taxis, and even on the van coming from the airport, she was on my lap. Oh well.

* I just picked up the laundry, and the guy had promised he would dry everything on low. The smell is much less perfumey this time, which is a very good thing!

* Poor David keeps staying up until 3am (or later). We get home after 10pm, and he gets on the computer and starts going through his 47 email messages (per day!). So we are trying not to do too much morning activity.

* Sam is sleeping late, too, but of course Micah and Sofia and I wake up early. It gives us some quiet time to get things done.

* The apartment is ... interesting. Size-wise, it’s perfect. Big bedroom for the kids to share, each with their own place to sleep - futon for Sofia, fold-out chair for Sam, couch for Micah. Decent sized living room with a long desk (attached to the wall) so we can have both computers working at the same time. Master bedroom plenty big (two twin beds pushed together, TONS of closet space). Kitchenette bigger than some other places we have rented around the world. But because we are deep in the heart of the city, there’s dirt. No, not really dirt. Grime. That sooty coating on the tile floors. Dingy. It’s gonna take a week of soaking to get Sofia’s feet clean when we get home.

* If I ever have a rental property of my own (which I hope never to do), I would have leather couches. I hate sitting on cloth couches that have been used by a million people before me. They just don’t feel clean. (And the fact that Sofia peed on the one cushioned chair in the living room is just another reason to have washable materials!).

* It’s tough to think and compose my words when there is an insistent little girl clutching my arm and saying, “Mama. Watch. Shrek Third. Mulan. PLEASE. Mama, Watch?” I have all her movies loaded on my computer, which just means I only get a chance on my computer when she’s asleep. This morning is an anomaly.

* Bring more than one plug adapter!!! We’ve had to share just the one, for my laptop, my camera battery, and four iPhones (well, three now, since Sam lost all access to his iPod for the week back when he was miserable on Shabbat). Which means you can only use each device for so long.

Mama, Watch. Mama, Watch? Mama, WATCH! Ok. Fine.

Tuesday August 16

2011-08-16T15:36:00.001-04:00

We slept late (-ish, depending on your name. Micah and I were up earlier.). I had coffee and breakfast, and went off in search of one of the two coin-operated self-serve laundromats in Jerusalem (actually, there might be 3, but two are relatively nearby). I found one listed online, so I was able to walk there rather easily, just up Narkiss to Ussishkin to Betzalel. Of course, there are only three washing machines, so I had to wait about 20 minutes, but then I got a load of delicate items in (my dress, some things I did not want dried). Then I walked back down to HaNagid to the drop-off laundry with the rest of the clothing. We go through a LOT of clothing!

Note to self: always rent a place that includes at least a washing machine. Micah and I are allergic to the laundry soap the drop-off place uses (anyway, I only brought single packets of things we are probably also allergic to).

Went home, washed up (it was already hot and a bit humid at 9:45), and then went back to get the load out of the machine. Stopped for some groceries too. I felt like a real olah (someone who makes aliyah, and moves permanently to Israel).

We got out of the apartment after 1:00, taking things very slowly. Then we walked.
 And walked.

And walked.

Down into Giv’at Klor Garden, through the Valley of the Cross (Emek Hamatzlevah), and back up Givat Ram to the Israel Museum.

The last time we went to the Israel Museum, when we were here four years ago and met the Rabinowitz family for the day, we really spent most of our time in the Youth Wing, so this was a nice chance to see the rest of the museum. First we got lunch (the dairy cafe at the museum was VERY good). Poor Sofia got some sunscreen in her eye (my fault, I’m sure), so she was tired and hot and whiney and unhappy for a few hours. We took a long time in the archaeological exhibit, but I kept getting dizzy from being hot and tired and dehydrated. But eventually I felt better.

Sofia perked up too, when we went briefly through the Youth wing. Then we went up to the art wing, and Micah and I got the “Sofia speed tour” as we chased her through many exhibits.

Around 6:30, we headed toward the gate, but it was so lovely out that we walked around by the Shrine of the Book and the Holyland scale model for a while. Finally left at 7pm, heading back to the center of town to meet up with friends.

Micah’s buddy Adiel and his family just moved back to Jerusalem a few weeks ago. When we saw them yesterday, I confirmed his mom’s email, and she and I were emailing back and forth all day. We took a cab to Yafo Street near Machane Yehudah, but we ended up walking down to King George to meet them, and then walked up King George to have dinner. Had a really delicious dinner - Sofia practically inhaled the rice & beans (the beans here are big white ones, not South American rice&beans), Sam loved his shishlik, I had meatballs and kubbeh, and David had his beloved shnitzel. Micah had “chips” (french fries). That’s all he wanted.

Walked with them a bit back to the apartment, then split up when they headed to their car. David took Sam & Sofia home, and I took Micah to Ben Yehuda Street to pick up the yad (Torah pointer) that he wanted, which Sam and I had found on sale the other night (on sale because it is missing a stone, but I can fix that at home).

Home now, some laundry still drying. I have to go get the drop-off laundry first thing in the morning, because Sam is out of shorts and we did not get home in time to pick up.

Tomorrow we have tickets for the “Time Elevator”, and are going to the Italian Museum.

Here are the pictures from yesterday and today.

Monday August 15 - Tel Aviv

2011-08-15T17:28:00.000-04:00

Wow, that was a fun day. I am SO tired now! Apparently, Israeli Coca Cola and Turkish coffee share similar properties: they look the same as their counterparts in the US, but they taste much better and have about 3 times the caffeine. I was awake until after 2am last night!

But I got up dutifully at 7:30, only a little after my alarm went off. Got them all up and fed and dressed and out the door by 8:45 as planned. Got into a argument with David and Sam as to where we should pick up the cab. They both had very vivid memories of picking up a cab, they knew exactly where it was, but they forgot it was to go to Ammunition Hill for the picnic, rather than the other time we caught a cab, to go to Ein Yael. And the train station is near Ein Yael, of course.

But I finally got them into a cab going the correct direction. Made it to Ein Yael just a few minutes after 9am, as planned, and met up with Debka and Eli and Eli’s parents. His brother Coby arrived with three sons a few minutes later. Sister Peninnah arrived with 4 of her kids a while later. And we all headed to the train.

Since we were twenty people, we really filled up the train car, and the “big kids” (my boys, Adrin, Avia, Coby’s three boys, and Peninnah’s two older kids) were running around like a pack of wild animals. Actually, Micah and Avia and Ayelet, Peninah’s older daughter, were quietly playing cards, but the other kids were rambunctious. Sam had a blast!

The trip took about an hour and a half, into Tel Aviv, and it turns out we actually got off at the wrong train station. So we walked. Peninah and her kids and the grandparents went around the city, since they are more religious and would not be able to wear bathing suits on the beach. So we had 5 adults, 5 boys and 3 girls, including Sofia in the stroller.

It was a longer walk than we expected, but fun. The kids all got along really well despite the language issues. I took a special liking to Coby’s son Alon, who at 10 years old is an incredibly sweet and mischievous imp. My eyes welled with tears when I saw he and Sam walking with their arms around each others’ shoulders, so very Israeli.

After what turned out to be a very long 40 minute walk, we finally arrived at the Mediterranean. Gorgeous, of course. We swam and swam and swam.

The kids all had a blast diving and jumping over waves. Miss Sofia was completely hooked, and spent almost the entire time (about 3 hours) in the water, getting bolder and bolder and more independent with each wave.

Debka and I took a walk across the street to get more water, and when we came back, I convinced the grownups to move under a covered awning. The sun was SO hot, and the water was very warm - not refreshing, to my New England taste.

Showering and changing took a little longer than expected, but then we met up with Peninnah and her group, and headed off to catch a bus to the train station. Of course we missed one bus because the kids were all in a convenience store buying ice cream. Coby got a large bottle of Coke for everyone to share, and Peninnah got her father a beer, which he walked around with for the next hour!

The bus was empty when we got on, but by the time we reached the train station, it was packed. I kept Sofia in the stroller (she was so exhausted), so we were sort of blocking the aisle, but we managed to make it out when we got to our stop.

Waiting at a train station with 12 children can be a little challenging, which is why it was a good thing they were all zonked out.

The station we got on at was the third station, so there were already a lot of people on the train, which means we could not sit together. The kids kept running, pack-like, up and down the aisles, but the adults found spots mixed in here and there. Sofia was by now sound asleep.

Took a long time to get to Jerusalem, due to a mechanical problem, but we finally made it. Then we had a long walk across the street and up the hill to get a cab by the mall. Got home, dumped all the stuff, and headed back out for dinner.

Randomly ran into Micah’s friend’s parents while walking down the street. They just moved (back) to Jerusalem, and we were expecting to seem at the Bat mitzvah party, so it was cool to meet up with them on the road.

Ate at “NewDeli” - can’t tell if it’s a takeoff of New Dehli or New York deli. Either ways it was ok.

Then we walked back up Ben Yehuda Street. Sam and I bought something for David (it’s a surprise, I promise I’ll show it next week. Home by 11, shower the kids and me, and now we are both on the computers, trying to get “work” done.

Laundry tomorrow morning! I promise pictures tomorrow - I’m just too exhausted now.

Sunday August 14 - Old City

2011-08-14T16:15:00.003-04:00

Well, David did not sleep most of the night, due to the noise from outside (we are right near the center of the city), and due to his internal clock being “off”, so he finally slept a it this morning. The two little ones and I took a walk nearby to Ibn Gabriol Street, where we think my “base” was when I went on USY Pilgrimage in 1981. The few people I am still in touch with (thanks to Facebook!) and I are sort of unsure exactly where the building was, but it is either a condemned building now, or has already been torn down and a new apartment building is going up in its place. But it was cool - I definitely recognized the neighborhood, which is only about 3 blocks from here.

We finally all got up and out around noon, and headed to the Old City. Did not really do too much, just walked around and looked at things. David was still tired and grumpy, and got angry when the kids asked to eat too early, but eventually I managed to get food and drink into everyone, and things calmed down a bit.

When we walked through the Arab Shuk, Micah spotted a little “genie lamp” that he really liked. I tried bargaining with the guy, and we actually went from 60 shekels down to 10 shekels, but then he said he couldn’t sell it now, come back in an hour. It was sort of a funny game. So we told Micah we could not get it there, but would keep looking. As it happened, about an hour later we actually did find ourselves back there (not on purpose), and the guy said, “You’re back? I’m still not selling it to you!” so I said, “That’s ok, I’m still not buying it!” Which would have all just been fun, except poor Micah really liked the lamp.

We went to the Kotel (the Wailing Wall) later in the afternoon. Sofia and I headed in to the Women’s section. She wasn’t too pleased, although once we got right up to the Wall, she was willing to give a “kiss” to the wall (a custom). But she got very angry at me when I tried to walk backwards (you are not supposed to turn your back on the Wall, which is the holiest of sites, so the custom is to back out of the courtyard).

While we were on the women’s side, the boys all went to the men’s side, and then we met back in the main courtyard. Walked in the park outside the Old City walls, next to the Armenian Quarter, and then went in to King David’s tomb. Micah and David also went in to the site of The Last Supper, but Sam got freaked out when he heard it was closing in ten minutes, so he came back down the stairs to me and Sofia.

Before we left the Old City, Micah and I went back inside to see if we could find his lamp. We found similar lamps, although not with the same style. We did end up buying one (first the guy said “for the little boy, he’s such a good boy, pay whatever you like”, but then of course he wanted more. I ended up paying about 32 shekels, which was more than I wanted to spend but still not bad, but poor Micah did not speak up to say he really did not want that one! So I guess someone is getting a gift of a genie lamp when we get home ;)

We walked through the Mamilla Mall, which is a new and very modern underground mall near the Old City, and took the long walk back up hill to the apartment. We were totally bushed when we got home.

Here are the pictures from today.

Had supper (thanks again to Eli’s mom for the Shabbat leftovers!), and Micah and Sofia got ready for bed. Sam had seen a T-shirt he really wanted (the Nike swish, but with “Shabbat, Just Do It”), and I checked with Debka about how much I should pay for it. So Sam and I went for a walk back down Ben Yehuda Street (which is nearby also). That was fun. We got his shirt, checked prices for a few other things, and had a nice time just being the two of us together. I am always happy when I get to spend one-on-one time with each of my kids.

(My kids are all leaning over my shoulder as I write this. Right now, I do wish they would go to bed!)

So tomorrow we are off to Tel Aviv with the Levy clan, taking the train and going to the beach. Should be a lot of fun!

Saturday, August 13

2011-08-13T17:40:00.000-04:00

We had a lovely lovely time at Eli’s parent’s house for dinner last night. Aside from all the delicious food, it was just so emotionally warm. Our two families are so dear to each other, and Eli’s folks are just wonderful.

Waiting for Eli to arrive:

Apparently I have been sent by G-d to be in Israel at this moment. On Thursday night, one of Eli’s small nephews, his sister Peninah’s son, was stung by a bee, right near his lip. The kid was crying for a long time, and I’m still kicking myself for not thinking about this sooner, but eventually I realized he should take a Benadryl. Which of course I always carry, because of my own allergy kid, Micah. Well, after they gave him the med (and I had it in the convenient Fast Melt kid’s dose), Peninah took him to the doctor, where it turns out he WAS having an allergic reaction, and had he not taken the Benadryl, he would have wound up in the hospital. I am so glad it all worked out, but again, I am sorry I did not think of it sooner (although Debka reasoned this: at least now they are SURE he is allergic to bees, where I am still not sure about Micah because I stuffed the med into him within 45 seconds of getting stung last fall, so he never had time to have a real reaction).

Anyway, Savta (Grandma) and Saba (Grandpa) live in Ma’alot Dafna, right across from where we picnicked in Ammunition Hill the night before. They live up on the 5th floor, and their apartment is just lovely. And all the porches in Jerusalem are designed with Sukkot in mind - the porch is a perfect place to put the sukkah.

The kids had fun, although Sofia was a bit tired (and once dinner was over, she really wanted to leave, and ended up falling asleep on my lap). It was fun to watch Eli turn into another 12 year old, as he did the Birkat Hamazon (Grace after meals) but his father kept correcting him (mostly for going too slowly).

Eli drove us home, and we passed about a zillion buses - looks like bus tours of Pakistani or Indian Muslims, in Jerusalem for Ramadan. Wild.

We got to sleep around 11:30, all zonked out. I woke up at 7 (courtesy of David announcing “It’s 7:00, are we going to shul?” and then going to sleep), and finally dragged their lazy butts out of bed by 8:15 so we could get out of here. We went to the Masorti (Conservative) shul at the Fuchsberg center, on Agron street.

But...um... Rain? In Jerusalem in August? Really? (It was just a tiny drizzle, but still weird).

Such a special morning. I only burst into tears about 5 times during the service, from extreme happiness and emotion. I had the Shmini (6th) Aliyah (honor of being called to the Torah)! There was a Bar Mitzvah...and the family was from Framingham! They usually go to Temple Beth Am, but the grandparents had been founders of the shul here. VERY Cool. The regular rabbi was on vacation, but the guest rabbi was wonderful, and his wife davened musaf (led the Additional service) - and it turns out she is a Cantorial soloist for the high holidays in Milton, MA! She had such a lovely voice. And I was a bit overcome with sadness that I will not be doing the High Holidays in Ashland this year. Had a really weird Shabbat nap dream about it.

Services ended just after 11am, there was a bit of a kiddush, and we came home for lunch and naps. Sam and David fell asleep right away. Micah and Sofia stayed awake but played quietly. I got them some lunch, did some reading, and took a short nap myself.

It’s a little after 3pm now. I woke David and Sam up a little while ago and forced them to have lunch. I want to go for a walk!

----

Later: So I finally got David and Sam up and we all got out for a walk. However, the 12 year old was in “silent mode.” You might think that it is pleasant to be with a 12 year old who does not talk, but Samuel takes it to extremes. And he refuses to use ASL, which we can all understand, but rather insists on using his own made-up sign language to try to communicate to us. He was NOT pleasant to be around all afternoon!

But we took a lovely walk anyway. Micah was in a great mood, and David enjoys just walking and looking. We meandered down to Zion Square, up and down Yaffa street a little, and then down David Melech, into the park at Yemen Moshe, back over to Keren Hayesod, down Ramban, and up Ussishkin back to our street.

On Ramban, we found a playground and let Sofia (and Micah) have a bit of fun. It was FULL of very Orthodox families. Some were not friendly, but some were very pleasant. I had a nice conversation with a charming little girl of about 5 years old, regarding why Sofia had changed into her “every day” shirt rather than stay in her Shabbat dress!

While his siblings played, the 12 year old stood with his arms tightly folded across his chest, scowling. He did, however, finally put on his kippah voluntarily. Whatever. The other kids had fun, and it was a nice break.

For today's photos, click here.

We came home, had a snack, and I took a short nap until Shabbat ended. Then we headed back out to find dinner. Went to a yummy Italian dairy restaurant - the salmon risotto was a hit with me and all the kids (although the boys actually had pizza, but Sofia and I shared...).

Sam got into a better mood after eating. Whew!

After dinner, we walked up Ben Yehuda Street, something you’ve just GOT to do Motzei Shabbat (Saturday evening after Shabbat ends). I made Micah pick out a new kippah, since the two he brought are too small and the baseball hat he brought makes him look like a very short trucker. David put up with me (and Micah) going in to LOOK at every store, but he really does not want to buy things there. He’d rather bargain in the Shuk (the market).

It’s nearly midnight, and we’re all getting ready for bed. Sam just realized that he has not been putting his dirty clothing into the laundry, so he missed yesterday morning’s laundry run. Great.....

Old City tomorrow!

Friday August 12

2011-08-12T09:32:00.000-04:00

We had a lovely day today. I woke up early and went out to drop off the laundry at the laundromat and find coffee. Got home and Sofia was awake (and answering the door!). Gave her some breakfast, got her bathed and dressed, and and then I took her back out for another walk while the boys got up and ate breakfast and got dressed. She was so cute. We went into the grocery store, and she tried to convince me to buy her an ice cream. The store keeper tried to give her a lollipop, but she got scared.

Came back, collected the boys, and caught a cab to The Ein Yael Living Museum:
The Ein Yael Living Museum in southwest Jerusalem is a 40-acre site that combines archeology, history, and nature, and is a storehouse of lessons in cultural and technological development of humankind. Dating back to the Middle Bronze Age (4000 years ago) the museum features the remains of a Roman villa with exquisite mosaics, ancient irrigation systems and agricultural terraces. Emphasizing the common histories of both Jews and Arabs of the region, Ein Yael utilizes this unique fusion of elements to bring history to life for tens of thousands of visitors each year.

We met up with the Rabinowitz family. It was great to see them again. The kids were all sort of “blah” at first, but once we started doing things, they got happier. First we made pita bread, then we made pottery. They explored some tunnels and excavations, and played table games on stone tables. They also painted ceramics and did mosaics. It was a blast.

Then we went (in two car trips) to the Mall, and had lunch in the food court - kosher! Very cool. We said goodbye to them and caught a cab back to the apartment. David and I are about to go for a little walk and leave the kids here! Tonight we are having Shabbat dinner at Eli’s parents’ house.

Today's Slide Show:

Shabbat Shalom!

Thursday Night and Photos

2011-08-11T15:33:00.002-04:00

Yup, a million relatives. And food for two million. Kubbeh (like hamburgers but much much better), chicken wings, steak, hot dogs, lamb chops, dozens of salads, tons of food. We picnicked at Ammunition Hill. The (many many) kids ate and then played a massive game of hide-and-seek/tag, hiding mostly behind trees or adults. They also hovered around the grill, throwing more food on the minute Eli took something off.

So here are today's photos:

We made it to Israel - eventually!

2011-08-11T08:52:00.003-04:00

Our Trip to Israel, August 2011
Tuesday, August 9
Of course David worked most of the day, and at the very last minute had to run back to the office to FedEx something. But Dave Burg arrived at 3pm, and by 3:30 we were on our way to Logan Airport...for what would turn into 24 full hours of travel!

We arrived at Logan with plenty of time to spare, just shortly after 4. Of course, between the pouring rain and the major construction project at Terminal B, already it was an interesting trip. When we got to the US Air desk to check in, we were informed that Philadelphia, where we were making the connection to Tel Aviv, was having really bad weather, so they had moved us to the 5:30 flight rather than the 6:30, just to be safe.

Well, that turned out to be a bad idea. The 4:30, 5:30 and 6:30 flights all got turned around. The 4:30 did not take off until after 7pm. We got on the 5;30, but not until after 6:15, and then spent about an hour on the plan, making it all the way to the runway before pulling back to the terminal and deplaning. But the 6:30 got out right before the 5:30, and made it in time!

So, our bags were on their way to Philadelphia, but what should we do? It took a full half hour for the stroller to be brought up from the gate check, and I was holding one very heavy sleeping sack of child. (Sofia had been really excited about flying, but as soon as we got on the plane, she completely panicked. Flopped to the ground, we had to pick her up and struggle her into the seat, where she kept her head pushed into the seat and arms clenched to the arm rests...until she fell asleep.)

Anyway, David had been on the phone with US Air while we were still taxiing back to the gate, but they could not figure out a solution. But the very enterprising gate agent found a way.

We RACED to Terminal E (not so easy to do when you must wait for the shuttle bus, which then makes 6 stops before yours!), and made it with 20 minutes to spare - we needed to be checked in by 9:15. We were going on Lufthansa, to Frankfurt!

Hurry up and wait, but we actually got out at around 10:30. Of course Sofia was wide awake now after her nap. The four kids and I all sat in a center row, which was basically bulkhead type seats but one row back from the bulkhead seats. The most uncomfortable and squashed seats I can ever remember flying in, plus the row in front of us only had 3 seats, so one of us (Mommy) ended up with no video screen. David sat right behind me.

The boys watched Thor while Sofia stared at Kung Fu Panda 2 (but without sound, since she does not like to wear headphones). After the movie, the boys went to sleep, but Sofia was still awake, so we moved her to the empty seat next to David, and then I switched with him. Thankfully, she fell asleep soon after, and I was able to get some rest (plus my legs did not hurt as badly. The bulkhead-type seats do not have moveable armrests, and the edges were pressing badly into my legs).

Got to Frankfurt ...uh.... sometime in the morning. I love walking through the transit hallways between terminals in European airports. You get to see all sorts of humanity! Wait, wait, wait, for the El Al gate staff to arrive.

Then more waiting. We were officially booked on the flight, but no one seemed to know how to “do” the tickets, and we did not have seat assignments. But eventually they figured it all out, and long after everyone else had gone thru security, we went in.

Micah, Sofia and I got to sit in Business Class! David and Samuel kindly took the two Coach seats (David does get to do quite a lot of Business Class flying). It was nice. Sofia fell asleep about two minutes after take-off, freaking out from seeing the ground recede from view. She slept several hours. Micah was absolutely adorable and extremely polite. It was nice. I did not get much sleep, but I did get a little near the end of the flight. I woke Sofia so she could finish Micah’s dinner (since he didn’t eat so much of it!), and relinquished my in-flight video system (where I finally watched my first episode of Glee - ok, I “get it” now!).

So we landed in Tel Aviv a little after 7 pm local time (noon at home). Two big mysteries still remained. Where were our bags, and how were we getting to Jerusalem?

Well, the amazing news is that the bags MADE IT, and arrived several hours before us. If US Air had not “kindly” switched us to the earlier flight, all would have gone as planned!

But when we got through collecting our bags and going through passport and customs, we could not connect with our friend Eli (he and his family are the reason we are here - daughter Adrin’s Bat Mitzvah party next week). We had sent an email from Boston, telling of the flight change, and had left a voice message at Eli’s parents’ house from Frankfurt, but we could not find him. We tried the various cell numbers, the house phone, and email. Nothing. So after about an hour, we gave in and took a “Nesher” taxi (shared van) to Jerusalem. Made it to our apartment around 10:15...which brought us right up to 24 solid hours of transit!

The apartment is nice, right near the center of the city. We unpacked, and I demanded that we take a quick walk to get some breakfast food and fresh air. Found a 24 hour grocery on Ben Yehuda Street. Had yogurt smoothies just before midnight.

But now the reverse jet-lag is kicking in. Micah and David are asleep, but Sam, Sofia and I are WIDE AWAKE. And I can’t figure out how to get my laptop on the network. (Sam just asked what he should do since he can’t fall asleep. I told him he should read. He decided to try going to sleep.)

I was up until about 2:30, working on the internet connectivity (without resolution).

Thursday August 11

Of course Sofia popped into my room at 8:30 to tell me it was morning. I’ve been up for about an hour with her. Right now she’s eating her grits, so I can get back on my laptop, but otherwise she’s been watching her movie and I have been still trying to reconnect the internet. No such luck.

I am TIRED!

---
(Later)

Left the apartment around 11:30, and walked up toward the Shuk, Machane Yehuda, to finally meet up with Debka and Eli and the girls. Finally found them in the mob. Stopped for lunch first - although Sofia and I had eaten breakfast, the boys had not, and they were all grumpy. Lunch was delicious shwarma, and Sofia had a really yummy rice & beans. Then we walked around the Shuk, which is the giant market place.

There is no place in the United States that compares to The Shuk, both for the amount of foods and things, and for the amount (and variety) of people. It was wild. Tasted yummy “Tamar Hindi” (Indian Date) juice, Apricot juice, Almond juice, and not-so-yummy Mint juice (tasted like Scope!). Bought all sorts of interesting items - some sort of Melon, dried dates, dried pineapple and mango, fresh leechee, other fresh fruits. It was cool. But VERY crowded!

Finally burnt out (and the stroller basket was filled to overflowing, ‘cause we also got 6 large bottles of water), so we walked back to the apartment (and ELi fixed the internet connection for us). Debka and I took a quick stop at a local grocery for dairy items. They headed back to visit Eli’s grandmother, and we will go meet them tonight for a barbeque in the park with half a million relatives.

Midsummer

2011-08-06T22:10:00.002-04:00

It's August already. Can't believe it. The summer has flown by.

Sam had a great time at camp. He "got" a girlfriend. I saw pictures, but she ran away when it was time to meet me ;)

Four days before camp ended, I got a call from the camp doctor. Sam injured his knee, but the amount of pain he was reporting was all out of proportion to the injury, as checked by the camp doc and by a visiting orthopedist (husband of the head of the waterfront). I reminded the doc that Sam had "sprained" his finger last summer, and wore the splint until November. So I wasn't worried. And when I saw this photo, I really wasn't worried:

That's his "big brother" Benzi, a dear friend of ours, who gets to drive a cart around camp.

So we picked Sam up on Sunday (the 24th). He complained about his knee for about 2 more days, but by the end of the week he'd totally forgotten it.

Micah enjoyed his last week of camp, although with Sam home, his anxiety level went up a little bit. But not much. He's been really relaxed and happy all summer. It's great. I definitely need to get that kid a Light Therapy lamp for the winter!

Sofia had fun at "school camp" for five weeks. She spent a long time processing that her preschool teachers would not be there. But she enjoyed being there, which is great, because her kindergarten teacher runs the program!

She also had a blast going to gym camp two afternoons each week. Her attention span has improved immensely - last week, one of the teachers said, with tears in her eyes, that Sofia had paid attention to and participated in every activity that afternoon!

Last weekend we finally got to take a bike ride. We rented a bike trailer in Bedford at the beginning of the Minuteman Rail Trail. So I had about 75 extra pounds on my bike, but Sofia was happy. Of course, she did manage to chuck both her dolls out the side, and when I stopped to retrieve them, she tossed her shoes out. It was a real workout for me to lug all that weight behind, so the boys went ahead, and did the entire 11 miles each way. I got a little past Lexington and then turned around. Sofia and I got back to Bedford, had an ice cream, and visited the little Train Museum:

(which was air conditioned...)

Sam was home about 5 days before I sent him off to my parents. He was full-on ATTITUDE! But after three days with my folks, he's much better behaved now.

While he was away, I took a little field trip - Micah, Sofia, and three other kids - to David Farmland. Both my kiddos love the animals, and there is a splash park. It was really a fun day:

Sofia got to gather a fresh egg, but she promptly dumped it into the feed bin:

The kids all had a blast in the splash park. There was a bubble pit, lots of foam and water, and a slip&slide. I really had to drag them out.

Here are four of my five:

Been going to the pool a lot. Sofia did NOT enjoy the two attempts we made at private lessons, so Micah had two lessons and Sam had one (I'd paid for 5). But she no longer wears a bubble, and she jumps in over and over again. But she will only stay within about 4 feet of the stairs (both sets of stairs - every five minutes it's "change stairs"). So yesterday I tried pulling her a couple of feet further out, and she spent ten minutes screaming and clutching my neck. Stubborn little kid!

Micah passed the deep-end test, and was contentedly floating around. It was so weird to see my "I hate to swim" kid doing that!

Yesterday I also took the kids shopping, and I could not get out of Old Navy without buying this outfit for Sofia:

She'd been clutching it and screaming about it. Refused to let go. It was really cute, so I gave in ;)

Now I'm deep into packing for our trip to Israel. It'll be fun, but I'm so not ready yet!

School plans still going well. I finally got a copy of the Tefillah curriculum I'll be teaching. I've also been working with my bnai mitzvah students, and I'll be doing a tzitzit tying workshop at a local shul in September. Cool.

Have a great summer!

What I Want to say to our school community

2011-07-15T17:19:00.002-04:00

(Hopefully most of this will be sent out in some form. For now, here is my draft:)

The original announcement about Sofia said “Our goal is for Sofia to become part of the MWJDS community.” In fact, Sofia has been part of this community since she was born. She even had her Simchat Bat (baby naming ceremony) here at MWJDS, back when her big brother Samuel was in kindergarten! Sam and his classmates are entering 7th grade now, and as far as Sofia is concerned, she is welcoming all her new classmates to her school!

Sofia has Down syndrome. The medical term is Trisomy 21—there are three copies of the 21st chromosome instead of two. Down syndrome is a syndrome (named after Dr. John Langdon Down); it is not a disease, it is not contagious. Sofia is likely not the only person you know who has DS. In fact, Down syndrome occurs in one in every 691 live births.

In Mishnah Sanhedrin, the sages asked: “Why was only one person created by God on the sixth day of creation? It is to indicate the greatness of the Holy One, blessed be God. A human being mints many coins from the same mold, and they are all identical. But the Holy One, Blessed be God, strikes us all from the mold of the first human and each one of us is unique.”

While there are many shared traits amongst people with Down syndrome, every person is unique. You will find that Sofia is more like her brothers, Samuel and Micah, than she is like anyone else with DS.

Usually, mental development and physical development are slower in people with Down syndrome than in those without the condition. Your children may ask about Sofia’s speech, which is the most obvious delay. Sofia’s first expressive language was American Sign Language (ASL). She can hear clearly, but it takes longer to learn to speak. So she may not say as much as the other students. But she is certainly listening, and she will make herself understood when she wants something!

Elsewhere in Mishna Sanhedrin, we are told: Anyone who deprives a student of being taught Torah is as if he robs him of his father’s legacy. Our legacy is Torah. At MetroWest Jewish Day School, each child is an individual, with his or her own strengths or weaknesses. Child-centered learning has been a core value of the school since the beginning.

We are grateful that we were able to work out the partnership between MWJDS and the Ashland Public School. It has always been our goal for Sofia to attend MWJDS with her brothers. But MWJDS is still a small school, and there are resources available at the public school that we just don’t have here yet. Sofia will be receiving Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy during her time at the public school, in addition to special education support in her Inclusion classroom.

When Sofia comes to MWJDS, Hamorah Amy will reinforce what she has learned in public school, and will add a Judaic curriculum for Sofia. Hamorah Nitzan will work to include her in the kindergarten class and the wider school community. At home, we will supplement the Hebrew language instruction that she will miss, so that she can still keep up with her MWJDS classmates.

I want to make sure everyone in our MWJDS community understands that there are no stupid questions. Please feel free to ask if you want to know something about Sofia.

But our tradition also teaches that words can hurt. In the Torah, we are enjoined not to wrong one another, meaning not hurt one another with words. Instead we are to consider the effect of our words on others carefully, reflecting on the word choices we make and their impact on others. The Jewish tradition places great emphasis on not hurting another’s feelings.

In a small Eastern European town, a man went through the community slandering the rabbi. One day, feeling suddenly remorseful, he begged the rabbi for forgiveness and offered to undergo any penance to make amends. The rabbi told him to take a feather pillow from his home, cut it open, scatter the feathers to the wind, and then return to see him. The man did as he was told, then came to the rabbi and asked, “Am I now forgiven?” “Almost,” came the response. “You just have to do one more thing. Go and gather all the feathers.” “But that’s impossible,” the man protested. “The wind has already scattered them.” “Precisely,” the rabbi answered. “And although you truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the feathers.” (Words that Hurt, Words that Heal, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin)

Many of us grew up at a time when the word “Retarded” or “Retard” was an acceptable descriptive word, not just applying to people but to situations and things. But we have learned not to use certain words to describe people of different races or religions, because those words are considered insults and slurs. The “R-Word” is also a slur, and an insult to a whole group of people who do not have the collective ability to fight back. I ask that you be mindful of your own speech and model that mindfulness for our children.

Sofia has Down syndrome. Sofia has developmental delays. But Sofia IS a child, who loves to play and sing and dance and learn. Just like everyone else!

An Update on the school situation

2011-07-13T19:48:00.002-04:00

Wow, things have changed. A month ago, I was convinced there was no way Sofia was going to be able to attend day school. Well, to quote B.O.B. (from "Monsters vs. Aliens"), "Ladies and gentlemen, I may not have a brain, but I have an idea..."

And in all fairness, this is going to be one VERY well thought-out idea when it comes to fruition. There are a lot of smart people involved.

So the plan is that Sofia will attend public kindergarten. I have to sign her up for Breakfast Bunch, in order to be able to get the boys to school on time. But two days a week, Monday and Wednesday, I will pick her up early (some time around 12:30/12:45, to be determined), and bring her to MWJDS, where she will officially be part of the kindergarten class!

The Learning Specialist at MWJDS will be her dedicated aide. Not that she really needs an aide, but she definitely needs more than one grown-up in the classroom. And the good folks at MWJDS suffer from knowing Sofia a little too well as a younger-sibling-dragging-along-with-Mama. When she's with me, and I'm "working" on the various and sundry things I do at the school, she has free reign. She knows where the toys are. She knows what she wants to see. And she has no specific place to be.

This will be different. This is a new model. This is not full-time day school, but it is also not synagogue religious school. It's a special model of partial participation (I recently read a great blog post about partial participation).

It's a little scary. I'm experimenting, trail blazing, with my daughter's education. But it's kindergarten. If it doesn't work, we don't continue. No way of knowing until we try it.

A few things have happened in the past weeks:

- We have had some meetings with Sue Schweber, the queen of Jewish Day School Inclusion in this area.

- Sue and Hamorah Amy, the Learning Specialist, came to observe Sofia in her summer school classroom.

- I found out today that the woman who runs the summer school, who has known Sofia for these past three years, will be her kindergarten teacher!

- Hamorah Amy also came to our house for a "home visit". She and Sofia played a bit, although La Principessa was tired and cranky. We (the adults) also reviewed my "Life According to Sofia" document, where I am trying to list all the particulars of existing with/talking to/getting anything done around Sofia.

- The incoming kindergarten teacher at MWJDS is finishing her last course on special education with a project on Down syndrome.

- Sofia was "announced" to the rest of the kindy class yesterday. (I'm not thrilled with how that was done. I did not get to see the blurb until it went out to everyone - which was not the original intention, too many cooks... The blurb read:

We are excited to be welcoming Sofia Rothkopf to our incoming Kindergarten class. Supplementing her attendance at the public school kindergarten program in Ashland, Sofia will be spending Monday and Wednesday afternoons at MWJDS. Learning Specialist Amy B. will be in the room to assist Sofia at those times. Our goal is for Sofia to become part of the MWJDS community. Please join us in welcoming Sofia into our Metrowest family.

There are a couple of things wrong with that paragraph. One, while half the families already know Sofia and know how hard we have been working toward this, there are four new families, and at least two of them have never met me or my daughter. This tells them nothing about WHY Sofia will need this odd arrangement. Never mind my feelings as a parent; as a member of the recruitment committee, I worry about what conclusions people not in-the-know will jump to.

Also, and what really pissed me off: not only is Sofia already "part of the MWJDS community", but she has been so for longer than any other child in that class. She is the ONLY child ever to have her baby naming ceremony at MWJDS!!!

Ok.

So I have the chance at two upcoming birthday parties (one we were already invited to, and the other, the mom immediately emailed me when this announcement came out) to introduce Sofia to the new families. Me. Not the school. So be it.

And both the new kindergarten teacher and the new head-of-school are planning letters to go out in August. Both of them will address Sofia's unique status.

What does all this mean for me, logistically? Well, some things never change. As I mentioned, I will have to sign her up for Breakfast Bunch in order to get her to school on time and then get the boys to school. But it still is in the works that at least two mornings per week I will then stay at MWJDS and be the Tefillah (prayer) teacher. Which is what I have wanted to do for a while now.

But it also means that salary vs. services is a wash. Not sure if money will actually exchange hands, or if they will just take what I would have been paid and hand it right over to the consultants and supplies and tuition for Sofia. Still to be determined.

Anyway, then Monday and Wednesday afternoons I will go back to Ashland, pick her up early, bring her to MWJDS, leave for 2 hours, and pick her up about 15 minutes before the boys get out. We'll start that way, so that Amy can do a specific hand-off to me. Amy has to leave at 3 to get her own daughter, and we are not sure how Sofia will handle the end-of-school pick-up mess. But the goal is for her to eventually stay to the end of school.

So. She gets all her services and supports and academics at the public school, then comes to MWJDS for two specific reasons: Judaics and community. Amy will have a specific curriculum of Judaics for Sofia, and will also work to reinforce whatever is being learned in the public school. The teachers at both schools will coordinate and communicate - we'll likely have a report notebook to take between schools, so we can know specifics about how that day has gone so far.

Nervous. But happy. And relieved.

She's a "wicked smart cookie", and I know she'll be able to do this. And I know that once they start working with her, the folks at MWJDS will worry a little less.

The interesting thing is this: in public school, everyone strives for "satisfactory". At the day school, we strive for "excellence". But for this, the good folks at MWJDS are going to have to be happy with "satisfactory" (in their eyes). Whilst I, meanwhile, will know that "satisfactory" in this case is still far superior to "nope, can't do it."

-----

Of course, for all that, today Sofia was a demon. She had her first swim lesson of the season, new instructor, private lesson, and would NOT cooperate for the poor woman. Bu the end of the 30 minutes, Sofia was screaming at both me and the teacher. I was not pleased. We rested a while, and later went to gymnastics. I had to run some errands, and when I returned, all the other moms said "She's been looking for you". Immediately, she spotted me and ran out to hug me, and would not go back in.

So we came home, both grouchy, and she fell asleep on top of me in my comfy chair. I have since extracted myself, but eventually I have to move her upstairs and get her diaper on (or at least a big plastic sheet on the bed!).

----

Micah is mostly loving his new camp, which is terrific. Today he had some less positive interactions, but he was still relatively happy.

Basically, he's been in a terrific mood because his brother is away at camp, and last week David was in Israel again. So there's been a lot of Micah & Mommy time, which he totally loves.

He's delicious, really. So helpful with Sofia. So sweet to me. Such a little gentleman. He likes to help out with little kids. While Sofia is in gymnastics class, Micah usually plays with the younger siblings, who adore him. At the pool, he's a terrific helper for me and for other families. I'm very proud of him.

----

Meanwhile, Samuel is having an "awesome" time at camp, and he "got" a girlfriend! There have been a few pictures on the camp blog of him standing next to a skinny blond chick a head taller than him. That's probably her ;)

----

David went back to Israel on the 4th (oh yeah: excellent time in Maine for grown-up weekend. Then we drove down, picked up Micah and Sofia at my folks, and went to my friend's house in NJ. Sunday morning, wonderful time at a Bar Mitzvah for David's second-cousin's son, then more fun hanging out with my friend. She took him to the airport while I drove back to Massachusetts with the kids.)

----

I've been fighting migraines for the past few weeks. I do not like this weather. I just feel totally sloggy and exhausted and cranky, and that's when I don't have a headache...

I started working with two new Torah students. I will be officiating at our neighbor's Bar Mitzvah in March. The other kid is having her Bat Mitzvah the same day as my neices', in May, so someone else will officiate, but I'll be her tutor. And they have been in "school" (Jewish Family Workshop) together, so I'll start teaching them at the same time and then split them to focus on individual lessons.

I also have to figure out some plan for a third student, bar mitzvah the following year, but the family is not even involved with the Workshop. So I have to be creative.

It's a relief to have all these teaching gigs, since I don't have my High Holiday gig this year. I miss singing, but I guess I'll have to move on.

My graduate course is officially done, but now I have to read all their journals and papers. It's hard for me to not be overly critical of bad writing :(

Ok, it's 8:30 and she's not waking up. GOtta transfer La Principessa to her bed.

(Oh, and we have booked an apartment in Jerusalem for mid-August, but still no flight!)

Getting Better All The Time

2011-06-30T21:19:00.003-04:00

Whew! Made it through another week. The weekend was low-key. Sam had a birthday party all Saturday afternoon, so the other kids and I just hung out. I actually got Sofia bathed and into pjs before packing them into the car to go pick up their brother.

Sunday morning Sam had yet another birthday party, and I took the others to the pool. Miss Sofia is a maniac at the pool. Every two minutes, she wants to "change stairs" from one side of the pool to the other. Makes it sort of difficult to have a coherent conversation!

Picked up Sam, and did last minute shopping. He and I both had bad headaches, so we both napped a bit in the afternoon, which helped.

Monday was crazy-lady day. I took my three kids, plus three others - had kids ages 13, 12 10, 9, 8 and 6 - to Hopkinton State Park. There is a small beach there on the lake. They all had a blast. Sofia swam like a fish, we could barely get her out of the water. The other girl (age 8) helped me with her, and occasionally the two girls sat on the beach digging in the sand. Sofia has talked about it all week. The four boys, meanwhile, were very very busy looking for fish and tadpoles.

Totally forgot I had signed up Sofia for gymnastics camp that afternoon; did not remember until Wednesday morning! But it was a nice day.

And David came home that night!!!!!

Tuesday was the big day, taking Sam to camp. He and his best friend Max have the beds right next to each other again, and two of their friends from last year are on the bunks above them. And they are in a brand new cabin, to make up for being in the very oldest (and most decrepit) last year. Cushy.

We got the boys unpacked (four sets of adults yelling "Please pay attention for a moment" while four boys paid us no attention whatsoever), and then they all took off. Sofia, who at first was very excited to "Play, Girls, Friends!", became nervous that we would all be staying again (like we did for Family Camp last month), so she shut down. "Home. Home. Home."

So we went home. The first round of pictures posted were the bunk photos, and Sam looked absolutely miserable, but today there was a gorgeous smile on his face.

Micah was in seventh heaven Tuesday night, having me and David all to himself (once Sofia was asleep). But first thing Wednesday morning: "I'm Bored."

So I took him and Sofia to a friend's house, where they both had friends to play with. And thankfully the nanny was willing to watch my kids while I went to the day school for another meeting.

We are still making progress. It looks as if we are creating a new model. Not full-day day school. Not synagogue religious school. Rather, the plan is that Sofia will got most of her time to public school, but come two afternoons each week to MWJDS to be part of the classroom. The two major goals are Judaics and Socialization. The Learning Specialist would be her dedicated aide while she is there.

It's scary to pioneer. This is a new model. But at least we are talking about kindergarten now. We can't mess her up too badly if this doesn't work, right?!

Meanwhile, I would have to put her in the "breakfast bunch" at public school so I could get the boys to school on time, but I would also probably be teaching tefillah (prayer) a couple of mornings each week. Which is VERY exciting!

OH! And I am officially teaching my first graduate course right now! It's only two weeks, and I'm doing three out of the five Units. I think I'm mostly done writing them; my co-teacher/mentor is reviewing them now.

(Just got a lovely email from the incoming MWJDS kindergarten teacher. Looking forward to this!).

Today I had to take Micah to his allergy check-up first thing (8am). Which was not a problem, thanks to the birds. We have the windows open because the weather is so lovely, and at about 4:30 the birds had some sort of music festival outside our window!

After allergist, stopped at the bookstore for a while, and then home to get the kids packed up for the weekend. Then I drove out to Old Sturbridge Village. We only had about an hour and a half there, but it was fun. Sofia kept wanting to stay, first in the Children's Play Area, then petting sheep, so we had to drag her along a bit, but eventually we got to ride on a horse-drawn cart, which was heaven in her eyes. She was SOOO HAPPY.

My folks met us in the parking lot, and took both kids back to their house. I go tthe most beautiful hug from Sofia. She had this beautiful look on her face, very peaceful, with her eyes closed, and she hugged me for a full minute. I wonder what she was thinking.

So now we are CHILD-FREE!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

Tomorrow we are going to our friends' house in Maine for the beginning of Adult Weekend, but Saturday afternoon we have to drive down, pick up the kids, and head to my friend's house in NJ. Sunday morning we have a family Bar Mitzvah in Paramus. Then hang with my friend until Monday, then drop David at the airport because he has to go BACK to Israel again! So I'll have to drive us back home on my own on Monday night. Ugh.

ANd then they both start camp on Tuesday. YEAH!!!!!

Happy Fourth of July Weekend.

Made it through the week

2011-06-24T20:21:00.002-04:00

Monday morning, directly to my doctor for sinus and ear infection meds. Whew. Sofia managed to pee in her pants on the nice cushy chair in the examining room :(

Monday afternoon, glorious day, so dragged the boys plus one extra to the pool for the first time. All had fun, especially my little fishy-girl. She LOVES to swim! But man, I felt yucky.

Let the boys watch a movie nearly every night this week. Don't really remember which ones.

Tuesday, babysitter bagged, so take all three kids to the orthodontist for Sam's first braces check, and then to the pediatrician for Sam's 12 year checkup. Thank heavens the pediatrician's office was empty, so doctor, nurse, and office administrator could all pay lots and lots of attention to my three needy children!

Home for a while, then to the Farm. I love my farm share. But it was HOT. And Sofia was grouchy...until she found the nice shady sandbox in the children's garden. Then we couldn't get her to leave.

Dropped my friend's half of the share off, then a quick stop home to put veggies away, and then dragged them back to the pool again. This time Samuel did not even leave the office. He did not want to swim. Ok. But the rest of us did. And it was nice to see Sofia play with one of her preschool friends.

After swimming, Tae Kwan Do, and then sushi. Couldn't find my credit card, had to walk over to the bank to get money to pay! Yikes!

Wednesday morning, movies. Micah's teacher had invited his class to come see Mr. Popper's Penguins, which they had read in school this year. Sam and the other older siblings went to see Green Lantern. He said it wasn't very god. Mr. Popper was cute, Sofia liked it, but the class was disappointed that it was nothing like the book.

Dropped the boys at a friends' house for the afternoon, and took Miss Sofia to MWJDS to meet with Hamenahelet (the Head of School). The new kindergarten teacher used to be an assistant for a young man with Down syndrome, and she is eager to experience Sofia. So currently it looks like the plan will be 90% public school, but trying to get a couple of afternoons a week at the day school. Both the new kindergarten teacher and the learning specialist really want the chance to teach Sofia, so they will develop a curriculum for her about the Jewish holidays, and work with the public school to provide backup support for what she learns in public school.

not sure how this will work monetarily, or logistically. Still tiptoeing around. But they are trying.

Dropped Sofia at gymnastics and went on errands and to pick up the boys. She does much better when I don't stay to watch the class!

Went out like a grown-up with a friend for dinner. Thank heavens I found a last minute babysitter.

Thursday was quiet. I had a massage (YEAH) in the morning, so the boys got to babysit their sister (daytime is fine, and at 12, Sam is old enough to be official!). Sofia went to a birthday party in the afternoon, so the boys and I did more errands. Trying to get ready for camp. Sam's name labels did not arrive until today (Friday), so I had to go find some alternate labeling options!

Today we started packing (finally!) and then went to see Cars 2. It was EXCELLENT! Shopping afterwards. I got a 2TB hard drive! I had a $45 rewards certificate at Best Buy, and it was too cheap to pass up. I'm so geeky.

Sam's head impacted with Micah's knee, as they were diving to retrieve the shoe Sofia threw across the floor, so he's got a massive headache. We spent some time at the bookstore, too, but then home. Finally got "Tangled" for Sofia. She's been talking about "long hair princess. castle! horse!" since November.

So my head still hurts but not as badly as earlier in the week. Now Sam's head hurts. It started raining Wednesday, and doesn't look like it will be stopping for a few days. Packing for camp has begun. And I have lots and lots of disk space!

"So How Are You"

2011-06-19T20:48:00.002-04:00

Ain't THAT a loaded question! This week, I have been somewhat honest when answering. Which is not so great:

1. Sofia is likely going to Public School rather than the Day School.

2. David has been gone since Wednesday, first to DC and now in Israel until next Monday.

3. Which means he missed Father's Day.

4. And will be missing our 13th anniversary on Tuesday (although maybe missing "Lucky 13" is ok...).

5. The congregation where I have been cantorial soloist for the past 15 years has hired a new rabbi...who prefers to work solo. So for the first time in 16 years, I will have no High Holiday gig.

6. My relatives have decided that not only must my grandmother's 100th birthday celebration be held in Florida (flying 35 people there is easier, apparently, than flying one spry old woman up here), but that it MUST be held on October 22. Which is the one day in October I cannot make it, since that is the day of the Bar Mitzvah of the young man whose father recently committed suicide. You know, my best friend's son. Sam's best buddy. Gotta be there. (Ok, the plus side is that I'll go visit my grandmother some other time and NOT have to deal with relatives!).

7. I have a sinus and double-ear infection. And no meds yet. (Hopefully tomorrow).

8. There was a dead mouse in the garage this morning. Poor critter likely took one look at the mess in the garage and dropped dead from a coronary. My neighbor was brave enough to come over and dispose of the critter.

9. It's school vacation week. All three kids are home. All week. ALL week. Really.

So. That's my answer to "how are you?" And why I blog.

Thanks for playing...

Celebrations

2011-06-15T22:23:00.003-04:00

Whew! What a week. Thursday, the second day of Shavuot, Sam's classmates came over to celebrate Sam (and another boy) turning 12. It was a hot day, so they had water balloon fights in the backyard:

Friday was the last all-school Shabbat celebration:

Saturday we went to our friends' daughter's Bat Mitzvah. They are members of Sha'arei Shalom, where I am the high holiday cantor, and it was nice to see everyone. The Bat Mitzvah girl did a terrific job - she was very poised, read Torah and spoke beautifully. Sofia was funny. When it was time for the closing prayer, she ran right up to the bimah (stage) to stand between the Rabbi and the Bat Mitzvah. She had a blast at the party (although she fell asleep on my lap for a while in the middle), and the boys had fun too.

Mr. Cool:

Sofia and David

Micah showing off all the "loot" from the DJ:

Sunday was Micah's Gym Show. We took his friend A (one of my "extra" kids, who likes to hang out with me!). It was long, but Micah did some great flips (which are not visible enough on the video to share with you).

David, Sam and A:

Tuesday was Portfolio Day. So proud of both my boys:

(Sam's shirt says "My Dad is The Stig" and Micah's shirt says "I am The Stig").

Micah's Dolphin Family:

Today was the best: Preschool Graduation!

Miss Sofia ready to go to school for the last time:

Sitting with her class, teachers strategically placed behind:

Waiting in line to get diplomas:

Mrs. Tomasso hands Sofia her diploma, while Mrs. M helps out:

Waiting for the other classroom to get their diplomas:

Trying to escape:

The entire Graduating Class:

My Kindergartener!

And with her best buddy, H.

I am so proud of her! (but camp doesn't start for another two and a half weeks!)

Recovery

2011-06-06T11:11:00.006-04:00

Ok, sorry I have not posted a follow-up. It's been really busy and I just could not organize my thoughts around the school issues. Still having trouble, but at least i can give a summary:

School

The proposal from Gateways turned out to be really about $70,000 per year (BEFORE tuition) when you included what they would also charge the school. Thank you for playing. The lady from Gateways then sat in the meeting and asked if I had considered taking Sofia to SHAS, the Orthodox day school in Sharon where another child with DS is already a student. I pointed out that I do not actually own a transporter beam, and already have two kids at MWJDS. The school psychologist actually asked me "Well, what's wrong with the public school?" I let her have it. There is NOTHING wrong with public school, and the schools here in Ashland are actually very very good, especially for Sofia. But we are a day school family. (The principal, of course, spoke up for us!).

Ultimately, the day school is suggesting a split day next year - Sofia would get all her acadmics and services at public school and then spend an hour or two at MWJDS being part of the community.

The public school team totally "gets" that we want day school, and are happy to work with us, but we do have to make sure that whatever we end up doing is BEST FOR SOFIA.

So there is no resolution right now. In my heart I still want her at the day school, but my brain is saying it's likely we'll just forget the whole thing and only send her to public school.

Which makes me want to cry when I type that.

Ramah Family Camp

Over Memorial Weekend, the five of us (yes, really, all five of us!) went to Family Camp at Camp Ramah New England. We got there Friday in time for Shabbat, and stayed until after lunch on Monday.

It was wonderful.

Hot. Muggy. Buggy. Hot. Occasionally wet. But Really Really terrific.

Met lovely people, including someone I consider a new "best friend". You know how sometimes you just click with a person, like you were friends in a past life? Yeah, well I found one of those.

David RELAXED. In fact, Sunday morning while I was in Arts & Crafts, he sat in the camp library for an hour. Sunday afternoon, the two of us went canoeing.

Sofia had a great time in the "Gan" (which is Hebrew for "garden", i.e. Children's Garden/babysitting). The two boys spent most of their time either on the tennis court (who knew!) or on the field playing Frisbee.

I went crazy in Arts & Crafts. By Monday morning, when the art teacher was late, I was actually running arts & crafts!

I also gave a short d'var (speech) at Shabbat afternoon services. Shabbat was lovely, very relaxing.

[NOTE: If these pictures are wider than the text of this blog, please REFRESH your browser) - they should all fit nice a tight, but sometimes Photobucket doesn't remember the edits I made!]

David watching the boys:

Sofia (and Princess Tiana) taking a break in the screened in porch by the lake:

Cookie Break:

Hot & sweaty Sam:

My girl:

Ready for tennis!

Micah being silly with David:

Micah was our team's champion for Family Trivia. Note Sofia's strategic seating:

My boys at Campfire:

June is Here

Sofia's preschool had Field Day last week, and I got to help out. It was cute, although she was crabby and does not like to be outside in the hot sun. Here she is gearing up for the Clown Race:

Ready to go:

Off she goes!

(she was supposed to turn around that cone...instead she just kept going!)

Hot girl getting water with Mama:

The Big Kids

This Saturday, Sam and his classmates were invited to the Bat Mitvah of a former classmate. We all met at A's house and her dad drove them. I could not believe how big these kids have gotten!

My Little Man:

The Four (note A ready to punch Sam...):

Just for reference, here are Sam and A at the end of First Grade:

and Sam and R and another friend at the end of Kindergarten:

Ok, gotta get Sofia off to school, then FINISH the yearbook - it's going to the printer today!!!!

And today I wish my husband a most wonderful Happy Birthday, even though he's in NYC for the conference this week!

Oh yeah, my daughter has Down syndrome...

2011-05-19T12:16:00.002-04:00

I'd almost forgotten. Thanks for the reminder.

The night I got my amnio results, telling us Sofia would have an extra chromosome, I wrote her a letter. I wasn't worried about very much at all. In fact, I was only worried about two things: her health, and her Jewish education.

We are very lucky to live here and now. Massachusetts does a great job of providing services for Special Needs. Health care (not talking money, just actual care) is better than it has ever been.

And we have been lucky that Sofia really does not have any major medical issues. Her cardiac issues are minor and have never required treatment. She is monitored for Thyroid issues, but even that will be easily controlled once her levels get too high. She has the same vision as the rest of the family - nearsighted - but nothing astronomical. Hearing is excellent.

The public schools in our town are very good, and have done a great job in preschool of providing her with the support she needs. I know the elementary schools are also good.

Which brings us to her Judaic studies. Or lack thereof.

Obviously, if you know me or read me, you know that Judaism is very very very important to me and to our family. Jewish education, especially. I took Meah right after we were married, and all through my pregnancy with Sam, and through his first year. I continued...and continued... and continued. This is the first year since Fall of 1999 that I have not taken any classes. (And instead, I'll be teaching a class this summer!).

When my Meah classmate, Renee Finn, announced that she wanted to start a day school in MetroWest, I jumped right in. I was on the start-up board. I couldn't wait for my children to attend.

I have been so incredibly happy with the education Samuel and Micah have received. The Judaics are excellent, and the rest of the academics are fabulous.

So I have really really really been looking forward to having Sofia join her brothers and get the same excellent education, in both academics and in Judaism, that they have been getting.

Well.

It's May 19. Since we've known since she was born...or at least since she had her naming ceremony at two months old AT THE SCHOOL... that we wanted her to go there, I've been somewhat anxious to figure out how that is going to work.

Anxious. There's an understatement. Who is going to teach her? Who is going to drive her? Where will she get her special services? How will this all get paid for? Who will coordinate everything?

So.

This afternoon, we FINALLY have a meeting between MWJDS and Gateways, the Jewish Special Education organization in Boston. Finally. Because we've known for the past two years that we would really need to be working with them, but everyone has been dragging their feet.

So now it's May. Late May. There are less than 20 days left of school this year. Sofia is 6 years old. She will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall.

Somewhere.

When I look at the summary and associated costs that I JUST NOW received from Gateways, I just want to cry. "So, you mean it's really not feasible for a child with Down syndrome to go to day school? You couldn't have told me this...oh...6 years ago?"

(Actually, 6 years ago, I attended an event for the Jewish Special Education Collaborative, Gateways' predecessor, with baby Sofia in my arms, and was entirely heartened to know that one day she could go to day school. In fact, the principal at another school [too far away for us] said she was ready that year to accept a child with DS, to put a visible face on their Special Needs programs.)

I may be jumping the gun. We might still be able to make this work. But the proposal I just received talks about charging the family nearly $18,000 per year for services. And that's not including the tuition (which, by the way, is less than $18!).

So what do I do? Let Sofia go, and pull Micah out? Just say screw it, she's got Down syndrome, it's not like she needs to learn anything about her religion anyway?

(I'm not thrilled with either of those options, by the way.)

IF we make this work, great.

If we don't, what do I do? How do I continue to stay so over-involved and devoted to the school? And how the heck do I get Sofia a religious education? (For the record, I do NOT like our synagogue's religious school - there are some personal issues between me and the director, and our family just does not FIT there.)

This could all still work out. I will go in with an open and positive mind to this afternoon's meeting.

But MAN, it's like a slap in the face sometimes.

"Why?" "How?" "'Dat?"

2011-05-16T13:00:00.004-04:00

When Sam turned two, he started asking Why. Why? Why? Why everything. Non-stop. Still his favorite question.

When Micah was willing to ask questions (come time a little after 2), it was "How?". He did not vare Why - he wanted to know HOW things worked, HOW things happened.

We;;, Sofia doesn't care about Why OR How. Sofia is concerned with "Dat?" As in "Who's that?" "What's That?"

She is Nosy Nellie when it comes to "Dat?" I can't talk ont he phone without her asking "Dat?" She's gotta know. "Dat" is also her way of asking the names of things. "What's That Called?"

Just an interesting observation.

So anyway, Thursday's event was EXCELLENT. People were really really happy with it, it ran smoothly, everyone had fun, and I got all my stuff to work. Last minute editing of a video by the teachers (VERY funny - "When The Cat's Away" a look at what happens when CK is not there - things like "10:00 Math Class - Today's Lesson: Poker!").

I was a little embarrassed. I don't mind being thanked, individually. I like it when people who need to know, know that I have done my job well. But the Mistress of Ceremonies made a point of having me stand up and talking about my work for the event, which also meant that people were coming up to me all night and thanking or congratualting me. Which was oddly uncomfortable for me. Guess I'm not used to praise!

This weekend, Sofia had two birthday parties to attend. She had so much fun! Here she is at the first party - all the kids got crowns:

And here were my three kids when we went to dinner on Mother's Day - note Micah's attitude (he got better after he ate):

And finally, the view of my kids in the car back and forth to CT last weekend:

A Better Week

2011-05-11T08:59:00.003-04:00

Yeah. Last week was tough. I couldn't sleep most nights, which then meant naps every day, which promoted the cycle of not sleeping at night. And the weather did NOT help. Between allergies and migraines - UGH!

Enough.

Thursday night was Science Fair, also known as my least favorite event of the school year. After the fair, nearly EVERYONE went out for a fundraiser at Papa Gino's. Very loud, but they all had fun.

Friday night I brought dinner over to Nicki's house, for me and my kids, Nicki and her kids, and Peter's father. We actually had a nice time, and it was a pleasure to be able to laugh with them. Life has to go on.

Saturday, I drove down to CT for cousin Heather's birthday party. My three kids all sat in the back seat, watching a movie on my laptop. They were very very cute. But it was a brutally long ride, three and a half hours (with a couple of stops). Friday's dinner had spilled a bit on the car rug, so we had to stop and get some rug cleaner (a minivan stinking of poached fish on a warm day is NOT fun!), and then of course Micah and I were allergic to the rug cleaner.

Anyway, had a nice time at Heather's house, despite the wind and occasional rain. I took a little rest in my car for a while. The kids had fun, and it was nice to see David's parents and sister, too.

Meanwhile, David was supposed to be flying home from Israel. However, Thursday the Tel Aviv airport was closed (due to some tainted fuel), so everything was delayed. His plane had to stop in Cyprus to refuel, and then again in Halifax. So he did not get to Toronto until after 10pm, missing the Boston flight until morning.

Since I was so exhausted, and he wasn't coming home that night, we drove up to my parents' house to sleep over. Took back roads, very pretty ride. And it was nice to see the West side of Bristol for a change. I also warned the boys that if they repeated the miserable behavior they had exhibited when we were there for Passover weekend, they would be walking home. They were complete angels.

Left my folks around 10am, and got home just after David. Spent several hours helping Sam make a model of Bucharest's Choral Synagogue for his Hebrew project. It came out really good. We are much better at creative projects than science projects!

We went for an early Mother's Day dinner, and were home by 6:30. Then I had to go back out again for a music rehearsal - we have an adult choir singing at the event this Thursday.

What event? Oh, the event to honor our out-going Head of School, Carolyn Keller. I (of course) am on the committee, responsible for all the creative aspects: designed the invitation, did the program, made a video, and putting together a surprise (CK, if by some chance you are reading this, PLEASE STOP NOW - SPOILERS!)

Scrapbook.

It is amazing how last-minute everyone really is. The pages were "due" April 29. I already know from phone calls and emails that I will still be collecting pages tomorrow.

So yesterday morning we did a sound check, and then I went to Nicki's house to have lunch and help her get her bills organized. Got her set up with my favorite utility - 1Password - and got the company to help her out with the license. Always pays to ask for help!

I had a checkup yesterday - turns out I have gotten TALLER! I had a sitter pick up Micah and take him to a make-up gymnastics class, and Sam got a ride home (although I had to pick him up at the high school auditorium, where they were having T's dance school dress rehearsal. Sam was soooo embarrassed to be stuck in the room with all these girls!). Picked up Sofia, met Micah and the sitter half-way to Tae Kwan Do, and off we went.

After TKD, stopped at Trader Joes to get some kosher meat - Micah and I were craving steak, but they only had "stew meat". Micah picked out a whole bunch of possible lunch entrees - he is a very picky eater, but is hungry at the end of school, so we need to figure out what else to pack. Sofia insisted on joining us in "Jerry Joe's" while Sam stayed in the car. While we were in the store, "Dancing Queen" was played on the speakers. Sofia knows all the words!

So this morning, after we dropped off the boys, Sofia and I were rocking out to the soundtrack from Mamma Mia (while I drank my latte from a Take-n-Toss sippy cup!).

Anyway, the boys and I didn't eat dinner last night until after 8pm, but it was awesome. Stew meat, browned in oil and garlic. Added spinach, garlic chives, red wine, a chopped tomato, and some water, salt and pepper. Boil first, then cook off some liquid. YUM! Combined with mashed sweet potatoes, and edamame. (Sofia had "hummus & chips" for dinner, and was asleep before we ate).

Yes, even when David is "home", he frequently misses meals with us. Monday at least he came home for dinner, but then went back to the office until after 10pm. Last night he got together with a dear friend, which was good. He always has fun with this guy. Hopefully we'll get to see him tonight. Then he's off to Tampa tomorrow morning ;(

So I'm going back to Nicki's house tomorrow morning, then setting up for the event (it's being held at one of the local synagogues). I have a sitter staying home with Sofia, so at least I won't have to chase her around, and Micah will get a ride from gymnastics.

Whew.

I don't even know what to say

2011-05-02T22:26:00.002-04:00

(Well, I guess I do, I'm a blogger...)

Our dear friend, Peter Azoff, passed away suddenly, unexpectedly, and tragically on Tuesday. He was 48 years old.

Peter's wife Nicki is one of my best friends. Their son Max is one of Sam's best friends - the two boys go to summer camp together. Their daughter Gavi is a little less than a year older than Micah, and Sofia gets all Gavi's hand-me-downs. And Peter and David were good friends.

And their family has been through so much already. Peter's mother passed away a year ago. Nicki's brother passed away two years ago, and her father, three years ago. And they lost a baby at birth.

This has been a very very very hard week. We heard the news Tuesday night, as David and I were plunging into post-Passover transition mode. I'm still walking around boxes in my kitchen.

I was at their house all day Wednesday and most of Thursday. We have a "shiva crew" of close friends, and we are all getting way too skilled at running shiva in Nicki's house. ENOUGH!

The service was Friday. It took a long time (Jewish funerals are usually within 24 hours of death) because of the autopsy. Sam came with us to the service, but Micah did not want to go. David was a pallbearer and gave one of the eulogies; I sang the memorial prayer. Sam was a trooper. It was good for Max (and for Nicki's nephew Kevin) to have him there.

So I was at the house most of the weekend. It was very sad. Everyone is saying "How could I have missed it?", so the rabbi did address the facts during the memorial service. Mental Illness is terrible, and can be so completely hidden away.

They only sat shiva through Sunday. Now comes the really hard part, continuing on with their lives.

They are surrounded by loving family and a loving community. We must must must continue to care for them as the weeks and months go by.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet - Blessed is the True Judge.

So maybe easier wasn't the right word

2011-04-20T21:35:00.003-04:00

Well, made it! Two seders done, everything cooked mostly fine, everyone fed, all done. WHEW!

Started cooking on Sunday, and continued Monday. Sam went with David on Monday morning for the Firstborn service at shul, and stayed with him all day, so it was just me and the other two all day. Cooked, finished cleaning, and watched the Boston Marathon on TV. (I must admit I enjoyed it on TV more than going to David's office to watch it right on the road; I got to actually see the whole thing instead of getting a pounding headache from all the crowds of runners!).

David's cousin H and her boys arrived around 3pm, and Laura and Lilie a little later. But my inlaws didn't arrive until after 7pm. Which means seder started LATE. With six hungry kids, three of whom know very little about seders. And my inlaws like to talk a lot, and the kids were rather rambunctious. So it was a somewhat stressful evening. I tried going fast through the seder, but David, not understanding that the kids were hungry, dug in his heels and went back to fill in more information for the not-really-listening kids.

But the food was yummy and it was nice to see the family.

First Seder pics:

Lilie and Ian

Sofia studying her book:

Ian

The seder

Sofia with Grandma Dianne

David (and Ian) try to get Micah to pose for a picture with his hat on:

but it doesn't really happen:

Tuesday, David and Laura both went to work (Laura drove back to CT for the day!), so I had all four kids home while I cooked. Cousin H and her boys also left early in the morning. Cooked. And cooked. And cleaned.

And then the garbage disposal broke.

And I was all set to just deal with it, putting all the scraps that would normally have gone down the drain into a bucket instead.

But the sink wouldn't drain!

So, one service call, 3 hours, and nearly $500 later, I have a new garbage disposal. This has NOT been a good year for my appliances!

But otherwise, things went well. I was still prepping the chicken when the guests arrived, but we got started by about 6:30. I had the big kids all seated in the dining room and the adults and Sofia and Lilie in the living room. It was a great mix of people - really one of the best mixes I've been able to put together. Two other day school families, another family with two kids (all dear friends), the couple and grandma with whom we usually have Rosh Hashanah dinner, and my grad school chum Susan and her husband, a terrific older couple. We really delved into the seder, much better than the previous night. Lots of discussion, and the kids did a lot of reading.

Poor Micah missed the whole evening. When people were first arriving, he complained that he didn't feel well, so he went up to my room and fell asleep. And stayed asleep the entire night. Poor boy. Fortunately he felt better today. I guess he just needed sleep!

I had my babysitter working in the kitchen, fortunately, and I wisely chose paper and plastic rather than my good china! Much easier, but still a lot of work!

Food was all yummy, although the stuffings got a bit burnt. We never made it back to the second half of the seder, but the older gentlemen did sing a few of the closing songs. Everyone was having too much fun talking.

Susan and I ended up at the foot of the stairs with the kids for a long time. We'll have a Girl's Event some time - she's just like me, and loves to hang out with the kids:

It was a wonderful evening.

Today, Laura took Sam down to Connecticut to spend a few days with my parents. Had to leave early morning again, which meant waking up early again. In the afternoon I took Micah and Sofia to see "Rio". Micah liked it, Sofia loved it, and I .... fell asleep. Sound asleep in the middle of the movie. Only Sofia's shouting at the screen woke me up!

9:57 - David just walked in! Poor boy.

Sofia's Preschool Open House

Last week we got to visit Sofia's classroom, and I got pictures of her with her wonderful teachers, all of whom have been with her for the past three years.

Mrs. Tomasso, the lead teacher:

Mrs. M, the main assistant:

and Mrs. Henken, another assistant:

Micah had fun exploring the displays:

And Sofia was so proud to show us her class!

Is it really easier?

2011-04-16T21:01:00.002-04:00

Last year we went to Florida for Passover. Although I did not have to prepare seders - we went with my friend B's for both of them - we had to clean out Grandma Toby's apartment, which had not been used in years, and still needed food to eat all week. But it was limited. We bought certain household items that we thought would be good to have if and when we all started using the apartment more (yeah, nothing since then), and enough food for the week.

Which means it's been two years since I really cleaned my kitchen and prepped for Pesach in my own home. And this year I have two seders. Monday will be David's family - sister, niece, cousin and her two boys, and David's parents. (OY!) Tuesday will be a cast of thousands... or at least 25. Five other families (although only three have kids). We're going to have a separate kids' table for nine of the kids; Sofia and Lilie will be stuck with their mamas at the grownup table.

So I've been shopping and prepping and cleaning. And David's been in Copenhagen all week, which means he brought the dishes up from the basement into the garage last week before he left.

I emptied most of the cabinets that normally get emptied - still have to do the drinking glasses - and piled all the every-day stuff on the coffee table in the family room. Where it certainly CANNOT stay if my Lilie and the two boys are coming! So tomorrow David (who will be home at midnight tonight - YEAH!) and my sons will need to move everything.

Today was a fully day of dishwasher loads (cheating, but hey!). So now all the meat dishes and utensils and pots and pans, and all the plastic ware, are done. Tomorrow will be dairy washing day, since it's not the priority (I do meat seders, so I need to start cooking meat first!).

And I still have a heck of a lot to cook, since I've barely started. The first gefilte fish, for Monday night, is cooking now, and I made fruit granita (ice) this evening. Tomorrow is 16 pounds of brisket, and probably a cake and some macaroons and a few other items. Ramp up Monday with chicken and soup and all the veggies, and a ton to do on Tuesday.

So why do I feel like it's gotten easier over the years? The first time I did my own seder was the spring after David and I were married. I was 7 months pregnant, and landed in the hospital for a day once the seders were done. That was certainly stressful. With the exception of last year, I've always had at least one seder here (sometimes we get invited elsewhere).

A few years ago, I guess I decided to get organized. I bought those terrific "Meat", "Dairy" "Parve" and "Passover" stickers and marked all my stuff, so there was no longer questions each year about which item was for what. We have a full set of dishes for both meat and dairy, and I got appropriate storage containers for them. I labeled all the pots and pans and plastic. I packed things in a sensible way. I have a lot of glass pans in a wide variety of sizes, which can be used for either meat or dairy and go beautifully from oven to table to freezer.

Which means today was actually a very low-key day. Other than loading and unloading dishes, and trying to figure out seating arrangements and table placements, I didn't have much to do. I make a very similar meal each year. Seder is NOT the time to try something radically new! My menu will include:

Gefilte Fish
Hard Boiled Eggs
Chicken Soup and Matzo Balls
Brisket (sweet & sour)
Moroccan Chicken
Mashed Potato
Honey Carrots
Broccoli
Asparagus

and lots of veggies on the table for munching during the seder and assorted deserts.

My big problem with a holiday feeling "easier" is that I forget to prepare for the actual religious part. I need to go through my haggadah, and decide how to tell the story each night. Monday night, four out of the six children will have almost no idea what the seder is about. H's boys are not being raised Jewish, Lilie only gets her Judaism when she comes to me, and Sofia is only just beginning to be aware of anything beyond her beloved Shabbat. Tuesday night's seder kids are almost all in day school, so that's a wildly different approach needed. And on both nights I also have to keep the adults engaged.

Yes, of course, I not only cook but I run the seder. David sure lucked out when he married me ;)

I run into the "it's easier" problem at the high holidays, too. For years, preparing for Rosh Hashanah was a really big deal. I had a lot of music to practice, and usually many meetings with whichever spiritual leader or rabbi I was to work with. But the past couple of years I've had the wonderful Rabbi Sonia, whom I adore, but who insists we meet in JUNE to prepare for the fall. By the time the actual holiday approaches, I've completely lost the mood of our meetings. And since I no longer need to do much review - I already KNOW all the music - I'm not submerging myself in the text for weeks before the holiday.

I think I prefer being in the Learning phase. So I have to force myself to make time to seek out new sources, to learn something new each year. It's hard!

I tried this year to get in the mood by attending last night's service at our shul, where Rabbi Shefa Gold was the guest. That didn't work. Rabbi Gold is a Renewal Movement guru. And I mean guru. She brings her own crowd of groupies whenever she "performs" at Temple Israel. She's big into chanting. I love the music. But last night, I could not find anyone to stay home with my kids, so I had to take them with me (and I had an extra child, who wanted to be with me more than she wanted to run errands with her mom after school!).

So I dragged four children to the service. Micah brought a book, and didn't even bother coming in to the service; he stayed in the hallway. Sam tried for about 10 minutes, but my little yeshiva boy is a service snob, and by the end of the second chanting song, he said "this isn't even a real service" and joined his brother in the hallway. The girls played with Sofia's doll and bag of beauty gear for a while, and then Sofia really got into the music and dancing. The other girl eventually slipped out to join the boys and a couple of other kids.

Sofia followed our rabbi around (he totally blisses out to Rabbi Gold's stuff), and then found a hand drum (tof, dumbek). It was an interesting test. Did Rabbi Gold and her groupies really mean it when they professed all that love and acceptance? Or were they full of it? (Turns out the groupies really mean it. Rabbi Gold shot Sofia the nastiest look when Sofia started banging out of rhythm.)

The big problem was the timing, and an incident with food. The service started at 5:45, and dinner was supposed to be at 7pm. Well, service was still going strong at 7pm, which meant it would likely be at least 20 minutes before any food appeared. And Sofia was getting hungry and crabby.

So I went to the door of the kitchen. The kitchen were I myself have prepared numerous Family Shabbat dinners over the years. And was greeted by the guy who was cooking that night (another congregant), arms folded, who said "there's no more food."

"Nothing? Why were we supposed to be paying $18 per person (and NO kid price!) for dinner?"

"There's nothing left. It's all cleaned out for Passover. Just tonight's meal."

"Yes, well can she have a couple of pieces of salad and maybe a carrot?"

By then, the woman who was running the event came by and asked if Sofia could have some of the soup. The guy went into the kitchen...and came back with a piece of egg matzo.

"Uh. She's allergic to that."

The woman finally dragged me past him into the kitchen, where I gave Sofia a few pieces of lettuce from the counter. He, meanwhile, raided the refrigerator for some tomatoes that were to be for Saturday afternoon's kiddush.

I was SO ANGRY!

After Sofia ate her veggies, I grabbed the four kids and left. Took them out for sushi, which was very fun (except that I hate going to a restaurant on Shabbat).

Oooooh! Just thinking about it makes me angry again. My first rule of cooking for others - you always go out of your way to please the people! There were dinners where I was still getting RSVPs that afternoon, yet I always had enough food. There were all sorts of allergy requests (none of which phase me, since my own family brings more than our fair share of allergy issues). And I always had munchies on the table (and when there would be a lot of kids, a big tub of pretzels to munch during the service).

Ok. Calm. I'm not gonna think about it any more. Sushi was yummy, and the kids were fun. And I'm loving the freedom this age brings - the boys would babysit Sofia for a while so I could drive A home after we ate.

I love having extra kids. I love the fact that kids want to come here. Tomorrow I have Sofia's school chum, H, and her older sister, who is a year younger than Sam and very sweet. Tuesday I'll have Lilie along with my three (it's school vacation week on top of the holiday!).

A few weeks ago, I picked up 6 kids from the day school. My boys, my regular car-pool sisters, and my friend D's two girls. D's husband showed up unexpectedly at school right after the girls got in the car (he was supposed to be running late, so mom was to pick them up at my house), and the girls refused to get out of my car! They wanted to come to my house. I love that.

So that's that. I wish everyone a sweet, happy, and healthy Pesach. May your seders be joyful and noisy and yummy.

Darn You, Emily Perl Kingsley!

2011-04-09T21:31:00.003-04:00

I was all set to moan and wail. Why me? Why my kids? Having just discovered that now Micah is having some issues, specifically related to test-taking (more below), I am just exhausted.

Then I came face-to-face with a poster of Welcome to Holland, Emily Perl Kingsley's poem about parenting a child with Down syndrome. (For a lovely discussion about whether Ms. Kingsley's glasses were too rose-tinted, see this blog. I especially agree with the comment from my friend Tara Marie).

So anyway, I have known about Welcome to Holland since I first received Sofia's amnio results. It's that standard go-to text for encouraging new families.

But what I had not really noticed was that the poem does not specifically say "Down syndrome". Rather, the poem opens with "I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability..."

Disability. Not anything specific. Could be talking about any of my kids.

So darn you, Emily Perl Kingsley, for putting things into perspective just when I wanted to whine and complain!

As for Micah, I think his problem - failing tests at a rather alarming rate - is a combination of perfectionism and defeatism. "If I can't get a perfect score, why should I even bother to try?" How the heck do you work around THAT?!

Really, if anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. The school staff has been brainstorming, David and I have been brainstorming. No clue what's going on in that little mind. He clearly knows the work - when they "ask" him specific questions, he gets everything correct - but when faced with a quiz or test he just totally blanks out.

UGH!

Sam's making good progress with his reading - he actually CHOOSES to read sometimes, which is really a first for him - but it's still a long process.

Sofia is making great strides in everything. Now we just have to work out all the details for getting her successfully into the day school next year. Which supports will be at MWJDS, which will we have to go back to Ashland for, who will provide (and pay for) the supports at MWJDS, where will the required staff come from...so many as-yet unanswered questions. But we all want it to happen, and it CAN happen. Just have to move forward.

Ok, Enough of that.

Nice Shabbat - friends last night here, services this morning (I read Torah, it was my friend's daughter's bat mitzvah), then home for relaxing, a nap, and unpacking Passover dishes (in the garage). Drove David to the airport tonight - he's off to Copenhagen for the week. Tomorrow, Micah is working on his science project with his friend and Sam is going to see another friend's show. FINALLY nice weather!

Thursday morning I took Sofia to the Big Apple Circus for their "Circus of the Senses" special need performance. We get free tickets from the D.A.D.S. group - at the last minute the Dad in charge had to stay home because his child was sick, so I ended up in charge of the group. Circus was fun. Sofia was somewhat afraid of the clowns, and very afriad of the high-wire lady, but she loved the acrobats and other acts. It was so fun to see it through her eyes. When the juggler was using dinner plates, Sofia got quite upset and started yelling "No! Table!"

Took her to Brookline for kosher shwarma (YUM), and had a nice time on the playground at the boys' school for a long time, first with two other girls who will be in her class next year, and then when all the kids came out. Then we dropped Micah at gymnastics, and went home to clean my car! Best thing I purchased last year was a $10 car vac from CVS. Totally cleaned out all the crumbs and trash. One nearly-Passover-ready minivan (I'm sure it'll need another quick cleaning before the holiday starts!).

Good night!

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

2011-04-06T11:00:00.002-04:00

Life has been somewhat 'normal' for the Rothkopf clan this past week.

Last week I spent a lot of time sewing Sam's tallis for school.

Micah had his class Wax Museum on Thursday. He was JFK. He came downstairs in his suit the night before...with no shirt. "You need a shirt." So he went upstairs, and came back...with a t-shirt. "You need a collar shirt, and a tie." He started to protest, and we added, "And you can't wear your winter hat!". Screaming ensued.

But eventually he did get dressed mostly properly (did not tuck in the shirt), and did a great job.

Friday night was low-key, just us, but nice.

We slept in on Saturday instead of going to shul. David and the boys went into the office to throw trash in the compactor (something the boys love to do, go figure!), while Sofia and I relaxed at home.

In the afternoon, we all went in to Boston! Walked through the Haymarket, around Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market, and had dinner in the North End. Yum.

Sunday we got together with our friends the Burgs. K used to be a hairdresser, and did a lovely job of cuts for Sofia, Sam, and David. (Micah, of course, refused!). Then we took all the kids to the park for a while, then crowded the 10 of us into a booth at TGIFridays. I got stuck sitting at the kid-end of the table. Sofia wasn't feeling great, so she was on my lap, I was next to their Sam and across from my Sam, and their younger daughter was sitting next to me. At one point, she turned to me and asked, "Francine, what is French Kissing?" Nothing like kids!

I've been kind of lazy this week. Not feeling great - I think I've got Sofia's tummy ache now - and tired. Yesterday, Sam's class wore their new tallitot (prayer shawls) for the first time at All School Tefillah. It was lovely. After that, I went with my friend D down to the Butcherie in Sharon, where I spent A LOT of money on meat for Passover! We also took a stroll through Ikea.

Lazing again today. Watching Shrek with my princess - I'll go to the gym after I drop her at preschool.

An old friend sent me this picture the other day, from June 2001:

Excellent Tim Shriver interview

2011-03-31T13:25:00.001-04:00

The Colbert Report
Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

A Response to Stares

2011-03-23T17:55:00.005-04:00

My remarkable friend Tammy over at PrayingForParker posted a thought-provoking item today titled "When the Stares Start". On first reading, my response was based on my own reactions (you can see my response in her comments section).

Reflecting further, I remembered something from the Special Education in Jewish Settings course I took a few years ago - the course that led to my thesis topic; the course that I will be helping to teach this summer!.

One who sees people with disﬁgured faces or limbs recites the blessing, “Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe Who makes people different.” One who sees a person who is blind or lame, or who is covered with sores recites the blessing, “Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who is a righteous judge.” But if they were born that way (with the disability), one says, “... Who makes people different.” (Babylonian Talmud, Berakot 58b)

Powerful stuff.

So I just went back and reviewed all the coursework and blackboard responses (it was an online class) relating to the discussion about these two blessings. Shortly after I took this class, Sam's class was assigned to do their own wrestling with certain blessings, and his friend T got this set. So I had the privilege of discussing it with her, too.

So, my take on this: These blessings acknowledge a few key things about people.
- Every person is created In G-d's Image, and is unique and special.
- Every person, no matter how "flawed", is important in this world.
- It is Human Nature to stare at things that strike us as unusual.

Ok, stop there. Why do we stare? Because we automatically are drawn to notice things that are not part of our normal environment. Why? Well, go back a few million years, and consider the Fight or Flight response. The only ones who survived were the ones who could notice and deal with danger.

But people with differences are not a danger to me, right?

Right, but let the evolutionary process flow, and consider that maybe in the past, someone stronger or bigger than you - someone different from you - might indeed be a danger.

Moving forward in time:

So why do I have to say a blessing when I see someone with a difference?

To acknowledge that normal human reaction to stare, and to frame it within an appreciation of G-d's creation.

We're gonna stare, might as well say a blessing about it!

Why are there two different blessings?

The first is to be used when the difference is "natural", created by G-d. The second is to acknowledge that "stuff happens" in our lives (accidents, illnesses) and G-d is still involved in the process of our development. (The same blessing, "...the righteous judge" is also said when you hear about a death.)

BUT...

When do you say these blessings? What makes you NOTICE someone who is different from your version of normal?

Would I have to say the first blessing every time I saw my daughter? Every time I see someone at shul who uses a cane or walker? Would my friend Tammy (see blog post above) have to say it every time she changed her son's trach?

NO!

These people in our lives are not DIFFERENT to us. They are a normal part of our lives. And that might extend to our reactions beyond our own circle of friends.

I don't know many people who need to use wheelchairs, but I do know some. I don't see them every day. But when I do see them, I don't notice the wheelchair.

But I know fewer people missing a limb. That still catches my attention. And perhaps the first time I see such a person after a long time, I should probably say the blessing ("ah, how do you know whether it was from birth or happened after?!" I don't. Just guess.)

People in our circle are used to seeing Sofia. She is not Different, any more than Micah or Sam is Different, in their eyes. So maybe when they see the adults at the local supermarket who have Down syndrome, they no longer see those people as Different either, but rather as someone individual and unique who looks a little like Sofia.

But certainly there are many people who live in very limited worlds. Who ONLY see people who are JUST LIKE THEM. Who cannot see clearly that every person is unique and different and wonderful and important in their own way.

I think I would say a blessing on seeing THOSE people!

(Ah, thanks, Tammy, for giving me something of content to write about!)

I miss writing and musing

2011-03-22T22:55:00.003-04:00

I realize that my posts in the past few months have mostly been more like reports from The Home Front (sounds sort of like Colonel Klink on Hogan's Heroes, threatening to send someone to The Russian Front). I have not had much chance to muse.

I have, actually, mused quite a bit, but mostly while I am driving. And I have not yet figured out how to get my brain to record the wonderful posts I compose whilst bouncing around Metrowest in my very loud and clunky minivan. So many of the profound thoughts I have had over the past few months are lost, never to be shared with you, my handful of readers (and friends!).

But I'm just certain that I have thought about all sorts of things: mother-daughter relationships, friendship, Inclusion, the uniqueness of each of my children, the beauty that is sometimes hard to find in every person but really is there if you look hard enough, the way my husband thinks that every car mechanic in the world is just WRONG when they tell me to fix something on my car. Or really good recipes.

That sort'a stuff.

I did come up with a simple dish last night, that not only did Micah actually eat, but Sofia had seconds and Sam had thirds! So I will blog it, for posterity (and hopefully I'll remember I put it here and make it again)

3 potatoes, peeled and diced
3 large parsnips, peeled and sliced
1 large carrot, peeled and sliced (carrot & parsnip from our Winter Share at the farm)

Boil these three veggies until soft. Mash, adding enough pareve margarine to keep it moist.
(I made the mash on Sunday and put it in the refrigerator.)

1 lb ground beef
1 onion, chopped
some olive oil, and whatever spices you like (I only used salt, pepper & garlic powder)

Saute the onion and then add the meat to the frying pan to brown.

Put the mash mix into a square baking pan, smooth it out to fill the pan. Dump the meat mix on top, spread like frosting.

Put in hot over (I think I did 375) for about 30 minutes.

YUM!

Served this with cold roasted beets (also a farm share item - David insisted I start cleaning out the refrigerator!).

G'night!

Purim Pictures

2011-03-20T18:55:00.003-04:00

Sofia as Minnie Mouse

The shoes were too tight, and the hat only lasted through the chapel reading, but she was very pretty on the bimah:

With the rabbi, whom she adores:

Getting comfy on the chair:

Oh, and me, in my sari:

And reading last night:

Happy Purim

2011-03-20T13:34:00.002-04:00

It was a very long and difficult week since my last post, but it is finally starting to get better.

Wednesday, I really needed the Girls' Night Out, since I was dealing with some stuff between two friends (glad to say it finally worked out ok) and Micah came home in a miserable mood. And of course he would not tell me what was wrong. I finally dragged out of him the names of two children he was angry at.

Oh, and Sofia had a melt-down during her gymnastics class too. I was REALLY glad when the babysitter arrived!

Thursday morning, I dropped the boys at school late, because Micah had another melt down at home. He was VERY ANGRY at something, but would not tell me what. Got to school and had a long talk with a few teachers. Fortunately he had calmed down after a few minutes. I left to do some grocery shopping for Sam's class dinner (they had an overnight at the Museum of Science, and were going to eat dinner at school first).

Got the groceries back to school, saw Micah again, and left to settle in at Starbucks and do my own stuff. Only to get a call from the school nurse, who had BOTH boys in her office. Sam had forgotten his lunch AND had forgotten to eat breakfast (he had told me he was going to eat in the car), and Micah ...it turns out....had a bump on his head from being knocked down on the playground the day before! Which he had never mentioned!

Grrr. Thankfully my sitter could bring Sam's lunchbox after she dropped off Sofia, so I got him a snack and headed back to school, for more discussions. But by then Micah was at least happier. And I was exhausted, mentally and physically.

Thursday evening was very nice, because it was only me, Micah and Sofia (Sam was at the overnight and David had a D.A.D.S. meeting). We had a lovely and somewhat civilized meal at our sushi place. Sofia and I went to sleep early and Micah read until David got home.

Friday was busy but better. I managed to get to the gym three times this week - which also meant that my body HURT! But in a mostly good way. I worked a bit with one of the trainers in the morning to get some better stretches.

Sam went right to sleep after school - they had a good time at the museum but did not get much sleep and had very little time to eat lunch, so he was tired and hungry. Micah's friend came home with us, and that kid's family joined us for dinner along with another friend. Very nice evening.

Yesterday was long. I had to be out of the house by 7am to meet my mother at the DCU Center in Worcester (used to be the Centrum) for the Mass Down Syndrome Congress annual convention. I had fun seeing my friends and watching all the gorgeous babies, but the speakers were just ok. My mom and I went to different sessions each break-out, and she met up with a new grandma that I had put her in touch with a few months ago. First session I went to the Educator's Forum and listened to a really good speaker talk about Inclusion. It was a good speech but I realized that the day school already does a good job of Inclusion and any school that doesn't do this is horrible and way behind the times!

The second session I tried the speech on Behavior but I'd already heard it (and it was very basic parenting stuff) and I dipped in on the Total Communication that my mom went to , but it was for augmentative speech which Sofia doesn't need. Lunch was long, and my leg kept going numb so I got up and walked around again in the hall. Got to do some shopping, too, from the cool vendors. I got a really lovely necklace, and my mom bought me a DS bracelet I have been wanting.

So it was a long day. We got home around 5:00, shortly after David and Sam got home from a day of skiing. My dad had stayed to watch Micah and Sofia (but apparently he did not do much with them? Kind'a weird. Micah had called me mid-afternoon complaining he was bored!).

Got pizza for all (made GF pizza for Sofia) and then I got into my costume - a real sari from India - and went to shul for the Purim Megillah reading. I ended up going alone. David and Sam were totally exhausted, my parents were exhausted and wanted to go home, and I was going to read so I couldn't watch Sofia and Micah. So I went solo.

I'm not a big fan of the evening reading. The Rabbi and Cantor lead the Family Service in the sanctuary, which is huge and loud and full of kids and shtick. This other guy leads the Adult Service up in the large classroom. I appreciate hearing all the talented readers, but I really don't have a lot of patience for the guy who runs the service - he's a "personality" in our shul - and it exhausted me to be there. I left as soon as I was done reading.

This morning we had a less than stellar wake-up. Around 5am, David and I jump awake to the sound of "bumpety bump thump thump" as Sofia TUMBLED down the stairs (someone had left the gate open!). Fortunately, the child is made of jello and rubber. She was fine. I think David got more bruised sliding down after her! But it was very scary.

We did get back to sleep for a while, and then raced to get back to shul for the morning reading in the chapel. Micah came with me, and of course David arrived with the other two right after I finished my chapter :( But Micah got to be Gabbai for another chapter, so he was happy.

Got Sofia into her costume, and took her into the Family Service in the sanctuary. Sofia LOVES our rabbi, and just wants to be with him. Which was good - he and the cantor's wife (who is also a rabbi) were acting out the story of Purim, and I think Sofia got more into the story because she spent the entire show ON the bimah! Very cute.

Then Purim Carnival. Mayhem. Sofia had a little fun and a good lunch, but then got tired and overwhelmed. David took her home, and I finally dragged the boys out a few minutes later. Micah kept getting put "In Jail", but actually stole the jail tickets to get himself out! When we found out, we put him back in jail AND made him pay a fine by putting not only the stolen tickets but also his own tickets into the pot.

So now we are home. Sam is playing with his friend, Micah and Sofia are watching Shrek 3. David is at work, and I'm going to take a rest.

Active Sense of Injustice

2011-03-16T12:10:00.003-04:00

I got to hear Leonard Fein speak last night, at an event for donors to the day school. Really cool. His grandson is in Micah's class. The quote in my title was part of his speech.

Let's see...

Micah did an AWESOME job reading Torah on Saturday! The kid really blows me away, he is so calm about everything.

After services, he went home with friends. The three 9 year old boys were trying to convince the host mom and I that they should be able to walk home alone - "Together we are like a 27 year old!".

Saturday night Sam had a party, and I picked Micah up from the house nearby, so got to visit with those parents, too.

Sunday I took Sofia to a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. A special ring of Hell. And I had a migraine!

We went into Needham for kosher Chinese food (yum!), but next time either we don't take the kids, or we don't take David, or we do take-out. David does not have a lot of patience for the kids in a restaurant. Not that they are badly behaved - they are actually very well behaved - but they order more than they can actually eat, and he gets frustrated with waste. Not that anything went to waste, since the leftovers were delicious!

Monday morning I hung out with Sofia waiting for the Sears repair guy to see the microwave. Now we wait until next week when he brings a new control panel to install.

While we were home, Sofia watched "Mamma Mia" for the millionth time. I discovered that not only can she sing "Dancing Queen" ("see dat girl"), but she knows all the choreography for "Super Trooper". Very cute.

Yesterday I had a few meetings at school, and spent about an hour browsing Target. Needed a new toaster, and house supplies. Night was out with David at the donor event.

At pick-up for Sofia, I had a good chat with the Sped Cordinator about our request for more Speech. She understood, and will discuss with the Speech Path.

At the donor event I got to talk to the director of marketing for Gateways, about our mutual excitement with getting MWJDS ready for Sofia!

Tonight, Girl's Night Out. YEAH!

Just so much going on

2011-03-11T16:14:00.002-05:00

It's been an insane week, more so than usual.

Micah stayed home sick on Tuesday. At least i had a sitter in the morning, so I was able to do my errands. Took Micah to pediatrician - strep was negative, but very stuffy nose and sore throat. So we did not go to tae kwan do that evening, just relaxed. David came home from a week and a half in California at about 1am. Very glad to see him.

Also got Sofia's IEP testing reports. Hard to read. They are very dry and data-ful. I gave out copies to the folks in the day school. The HOS, who has a grown son with DS, got two pages into the report and then called me into her office. She was very upset by the report. "Where is the lead paragraph about the child's strengths?!" I appreciated her being upset. I knew that the "good stuff" was buried deeper into the report, but indeed, it is difficult to read all the negatives first.

Wednesday was THE day. Insane, indeed. First, drive the boys to school, and attend to meet one of the candidates for Head of School (while trying to keep Sofia occupied).

Then a quick trip for groceries, a quick stop to unload them, and pick up Sofia's friend H.

Then take both girls BACK to the boys' school, to meet their preschool teacher and Sped Coordinator, who were observing the day school's kindergarten class. That was interesting. I was glad to have H with us, because in contrast, Sofia did really well! The two girls were playing in the "kitchen" area of the class, but Sofia got interested in what the teacher was talking about with the class, so she sat on the rug with them and chimed in! She even raised her hand and said "My Turn", and added appropriate on-topic comments. I was so proud!

Fed the two girls some lunch in the cafeteria, and got to see the boys. Then raced back to drop them at school. Home for 20 minutes, then back to prechool for THE IEP MEETING!!!

Two and a half hours later...

It was certainly a long meeting, and overall I was satisfied with the basics, although we are going to request more speech. The meeting started with "what is the disability", and a discussion of whether to transition from "Developmental Delay" to "Intellectual Impairment". Since we all agreed that she is certainly still developing, I was able to demand DevDelay, which can be used up until she turns 8 years old.

I always approach the IEP meeting like this: "Let's pretend that we are moving to California next week; what do we need to include in this document so they would know how to work with this child?"

That helps it stay impersonal and focused on the child, rather than on the the school system.

In attendance was a cast of thousands:
- public school Sped Director, preschool teacher, OT, PT, Speech, and Psych
- day school Head of School, Sped Director, and Learning Specialist
- David and me
- my friend who is a professional advocate, and knows Sofia well.

So.

To know Sofia is at very least to be amused and impressed by her. We all agreed that she has made tremendous progress every year in preschool, and with proper support, will continue to exceed all expectations. (I guess - can we "expect" her to exceed expectations?!)

Now it comes down to WHERE.

The day school folk had a lot of questions, but certainly were not able to promise anything. I had invited folks from Gateways, the Jewish Special Needs collaborative, to attend, but they did not get the message until after the IEP. We will have a separate meeting with them soon.

There are many things to consider. The public school Kindergarten teachers, even in the Inclusion classrooms, are not SpEd certified. They recommend only 60 minutes per day of specific Sped service.

The current recommendation stands at:
Speech - 1x30 in class and 2x30 pull out per week. We are asking for more.
OT - 1x30 in and 1x30 out
PT - 2x30 out
SpEd 5x60 in

Whew.

Got out of the meeting at 3:30 - which was only a problem because I was supposed to have picked Micah up at 3:15 to take him to his therapy appointment (which his doctor kindly rescheduled). Got the boys, had a quick meeting with the art teacher about a project i am working on, and met Sofia at gym (taken by H's mother - I love this arrangement!).

Thursday, more running around. Meeting, then massage (yeah!), then another meeting. When I picked up the boys, Micah was a complete melting puddle. We did a quick stop to get his new glasses, and get Sofia and go home. David, however, did not get home again until after midnight.

So this morning he was "grounded" - I told him he was not allowed to leave the house until 10 am, and should sleep as long as possible. When he is away from the office so long, work piles up.

I also left Micah home again today. Poor kid can't stop blowing his nose, and he is very tired. Since Micah and David were both home, the bonus was that I could leave Sofia home while I took Sam to school and had a quick meeting and grocery shopping.

When I got home, I made home-made Wontons for Micah. They came out YUMMY! I'm making crock-pot for tonight, we have 2 families coming over. And Micah is supposed to read Torah again tomorrow in the children's service.

Kvelling again!

2011-03-07T10:45:00.003-05:00

Micah read Torah this morning for the first time. It was at All School Tefillah (prayer), which this year we are doing on Rosh Chodesh (the beginning of a new month).

He not only did beautifully, but was surprised with an extra line - there had been some confusion about who was reading what, and fortunately Micah knew the line before what he thought he was doing!

He was so calm!

And I was proud of Sam, since he was acting as Gabbai, the person who calls people up for their honors:

Poltergeists

2011-03-06T20:11:00.002-05:00

We've been having some problems with our appliances this year. In August, the clothes dryer caught fire and had to be removed (by the fire department). A few weeks later, the microwave died, and David and I had a fun time installing the new one.

A couple of weeks ago, the dishwasher washed its last load. New one is on order but not coming in for another week or so.

And now, the new microwave is busted! Repair coming next Monday - poor Sam is in a panic. "How will we eat?!" I explained to him that the machine under the microwave is a perfectly decent stove...

And this evening, I discovered that the dead dishwasher is leaking! So I have to see if the company will come remove it before the new one arrives.

UGH.

Oh, and this week, I discovered that I will need to get a new minivan - the steering column is starting to go, and between that, the needed new muffler, the needed new brakes, the broken power door and the fact that the beastie has over 111,000 miles, it's time to replace it.

Meanwhile, David has been away in California all week, missing out on the fun (and stressing long-distance, which is definitely NOT fun!).

On good news (but still in line with the broken appliance theme), I got my new camera today (since I have three broken ones now). Just in time, since Micah is reading Torah for the first time tomorrow.

Funny thing about that. When Sam read for the first time, back in third grade, i was terribly nervous. As you can hear in the video, my friend and I held our breath through the entire part.

But with Micah, not only am I not nervous, but he's already signed up for his second reading, next Saturday! He's such a quick learner, and so good at Hebrew, it's a breeze for him. I'm very proud of him, but it's wild how his poise and nonchalance are keeping us all so calm.

I had a lot of other things to write about, but now I have forgotten them.

My Baby is 6 years old!

2011-02-27T21:01:00.003-05:00

In all the fuss of vacation week, I sort of forgot to blog that La Principessa Sofia Phoebe Daniella Rothkopf turned 6 years old on February 18!

That was the Friday before vacation week. First thing in the morning, we gave her presents from the family: my folks "got" her (ok, I bought it, from them) another pillow pet, and various books from me and David and the boys.

In the afternoon, I went in to her classroom to read a story. Her best buddy H and Sofia had a great time hugging and mugging.

That Friday night we had Shabbos dinner at the principal's house! Saturday evening we were at our friends' and able to have candles in (gluten-free) cupcakes.

And today was the party. Laura and Lilie came up last night (David had taken Sam and Sofia down to CT to see his grandmother), so the kids had breakfast together and then we got out to the party, which once again was at her gymnastics place.

Party was a lot of fun. We had requested our favorite teacher from last year, plus this year's great teacher (a guy, whom my boys adore!). Had 9 girls including Sofia, and 4 boys including mine. A good size.

My favorite video - Sofia was SOOOO happy!

Ok, so he's kind'a goofy:

After the party, we got a quick bite, and then dropped David back at the Logan Express bus. He's off to California for more than a week. Boo hoo. I miss him.

But then we took the kids to the mall, because Laura had gotten Sofia a Build-a-Bear gift certificate. The girls got matching pink bears (with different outfits), Sam got a plain bear ('cause I said I would only spend $10 on each boy), and Micah splurged on an Owl with a Harry Potter costume (yes, he paid me back $20 when we got home! Having a little buyers remorse, but I hope he does enjoy the owl.).

We couldn't find a rental stroller, but managed to locate a shopping cart at Sears, and got plenty of odd looks as we wheeled around the Natick Collection. But it kept the girls corralled!

Why I Don't Homeschool

2011-02-24T10:49:00.003-05:00

I admire people who can homeschool their children. The moms I know (I'm sure there are dads who homeschool, but I have never met any!) are very patient and thorough teachers. The children I know who have been homeschooled are generally amazing - thoughtful, intelligent, confident, kind.

However, when people ask my why I don't homeschool, I have one simple answer:

Some animals EAT their young!

I just worked with Micah on his Wax Museum reading. He is going to be John F. Kennedy. Yet Micah, who has a huge stack of books on his night table and who considers himself a very good reader, has decided that he CAN'T read the biography. Just CAN'T.

CAN'T = DOES NOT WANT TO

(This holds true for all my children. Sofia's favorite 'get out of work' line is "Noooo, CAAAAANNNNN'TTTT").

So, after applying food (Micah woke up in a MISERABLE mood this morning!), I snuggled with him in a chair (Sofia joined us for a while until Sam took her to play outside) and started reading "with" him.

Well, "reading" is a generous term for what we were doing. I would say three or four words off the page, and he would make a comment. Or ask a question. Or take a bounce around the room.

I think third grade teachers are generally the most incredible people. How an adult cold possibly have the patience to deal with a whole classroom full of these ... these.... creatures is beyond me. (I have told Micah's teacher of my admiration for her several times, mostly after accompanying them on field trips!).

We got through two whole chapters. So far, I think Micah is still confused as to whether JFK lived during the Revolutionary War or the Civil War. I have not yet been able to convince him that he's (a-hem) incorrect.

Ok, off to deposit children and pick up other children and generally try to survive another day of vacation week.

School Vacation Week as a Special Needs mommy

2011-02-23T12:04:00.002-05:00

When I started up the computer this morning, I was going to blog about how my children are mostly driving me crazy this week. But I ran out of time, and had to take Sofia to our synagogue for a concert. And now my topic is a little altered.

Had a Special Needs Mommy moment at the concert, which was sponsored by the nursery school. This is NOT the preschool Sofia goes to (although it is where her brothers went). Since there are no specialists for speech, OT, PT and inclusion, Sofia goes to the public preschool.

My complaint these past three years at the public preschool is that there is very little chance for parents to interact - the teachers take the kids out of cars and bring them to the cars, so we are not milling in the hallway at drop off and pick up (as is the case at the synagogue school). Consequently, in three years, I have really only made one mommy friend at Sofia's school (and I'm very glad to have that lady as a friend - I definitely appreciate quality vs. quantity!).

But I forgot how unfriendly and closed off and cliquey preschool moms can be! I had made most of my mommy friends when Sam was in preschool; by the time Micah got there, either his classmates were younger siblings, or it just was not as important to make more friends. So this morning was difficult on several levels:

- I only recognized a few mommies, mostly from synagogue, and most of those were busy with their other friends.
- Sofia is six years old already. Most preschoolers are between 3 and 5 years. There were only two kids I saw who she might know from synagogue, but they were busy with their own friends.
- Little kids can be just as unfriendly and closed to unknown kids as their mommies can be to unknown mommies. So when it was time to dance, and kids were forming dance circles, Sofia had no one to dance with.

That's what did it. She looked so sad and dejected, trying to convince someone to hold her hand.

Eventually the dancing changed to more of a line, so she was able to be involved. But it made me so sad.

And it doesn't help that she's always got either her tongue or her finger up her nose!

I was glad to see the nursery school director, whose daughter used to be in Micah's class and who is a good friend and understanding listener. She was able to point out some of the positives as Sofia got more into the concert. And she was able to sympathize knowledgeably.

Sofia has been driving me NUTS all week, of course! Yesterday, my sitter canceled, so I had to take Sofia with me and Sam into Brookline to pick up my grandfather's tefillin, which was being checked in preparation for Sam to use. It was very cold, so I had to carry Sofia on my shoulders, which compressed my spine and gave me a horrible headache all day. She kept fighting me or running off as we were trying to do errands. It was a frustrating day.

In the evening, took the boys to Tae Kwan Do, and Sofia managed to lock herself in a storage closet. Then she gave me lots of hands-on-hips "NO!"s when I tried redirecting her. Pain in the butt.

The boys were wonderful last night and this morning. Last night they put her to bed, and this morning they shut my door and kept her away and occupied so I could sleep a bit. They also stayed home and actually did homework while I took her to the concert (too babyish for them). Good boys. I'm loving this age, where they can stay home for a bit during the day without worry. Monday, David and I actually went to buy the replacement dishwasher (ours died) without any kids, as the boys were wiling to watch their sister, too.

Stressing, too, about Sofia's birthday party this Sunday. Only have about 5 kids coming, due to vacation plans. And David's nearly-100-year-old grandmother fell last week and had to have surgery on her leg (she was bleeding inside)! She made it through fine, but that's another stress-er.

Ok, enough complaining. Time to get moving...

Monday morning

2011-02-14T11:34:00.007-05:00

(She was playing "Throw-Catch" when I left off my last post - there were toys everywhere!).

We had a nice relaxing weekend. Fun Shabbos dinner with friends, including the kid Sam goes to overnight camp with, and his school chum, who has become my "Friday Child" - we drive him home on Fridays and he frequently stays for dinner.

In the middle of dinner, Sofia came to me with a lose tooth:

and by the end of dinner, it was out (and there was blood all over the place!)

Went to shul Saturday morning. I never even made it into the main sanctuary, because I was with Sofia in the children's service all morning.

Saturday evening, picked up Sam from his friend's house, dropped Micah at a birthday party, took Sam to Whole Foods to grab a bite to eat before a Kadima event (Kadima is the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism's youth group for grades 5&6). Met up with other friends headed to the same event, so I left Sam with them. Saw him through the window, eating dinner with his friend from school and smiling madly.

David and Sofia and I went for some really interesting food in Natick - I had a Korean dish and some sushi, David had some Thai appetizers as his meal, and Sofia chowed on soup and sushi and rice noodles.

Picked up Sam and three other kids, took them all to ice cream (sleeping Sofia and I stayed in the car while David took them in), then dropped one kid off at the birthday party ('cause his sister was there) and picked up Micah. Drove the other two kids home. Finally made it home around 9:30! Then David and I started watching "Watchmen" - I'd never seen it before. I fell asleep, so finished it last night. Interesting. You end up not liking any of the characters, but it was interesting.

Sunday we had an awesome event at the day school - Build Jerusalem with Legos! See here for some great photos. David and Sofia came in time for clean-up. which was fine for Sofia!

Then we went in to Brookline. I have my grandfather's Tefillin, but it needs to be checked before Sam starts using it. And then we dined at Rubin's, the kosher restaurant, along with about a million other people (and it's a very small place!).

Here are some pictures of Sofia getting her hair cut last week by my friend Kathy at her store, Hometown Designs in Natick.

"Shhhh Qui-at"

2011-02-11T11:42:00.002-05:00

That's how Sofia tells us to be quiet. I'm appreciating the relative quiet this morning, because yesterday we had a playdate. There was no preschool again, for conferences, so I had Sofia's friend H over since her mom had to work. This is the only family we've really connected with in three years at preschool. Sofia and H are in the Inclusion class together, and go to speech together once a week (Sofia also gets one-on-one speech). H has delays and something going on with the 21st chromosome, but it's not DS, so she does not have "the look".

I have never seen two kids who are more alike and yet more different!

The two of them CAN play well together, when they feel like it. But I have forgotten that I actually have a quiet child. Sometimes I feel like Sofia never shuts up, always yelling at me (Mama! C'mere! Want Cheese! Please!) or chattering to her toys.

Well, Miss H certainly set me right. "Uh, Sofia's Mom?" Every other minute. Seriously. Constant chatter. And she does not have Sofia's attention span, so she was flitting from one thing to another with rather alarming speed. I've gotten used to (and forgotten to appreciate) Sofia's ability to focus for long periods of time.

Mid-afternoon, the speech therapist called to discuss prep for Sofia's IEP, and she laughed when I told her H was over. She said the two girls boss each other around, play together, yell at each other, and have a ton of fun. I could see it.

Since H's mom works until at least 4, I took both girls with me to pick up the boys (plus an extra boy). Then took the whole crew to get Sam a haircut - Micah and M (the other boy) were in charge of the girls while I worked with Sam and the hairdresser.

Then Sam needed something at Staples, so I left the other 4 in the car - M has a cell phone, and is 12 and a half years old. Sam wanted a mechanical pencil. But not any mechanical pencil. No, he wanted a very specific one. Which of course cost twice as much money. But he promised to pay me back (and he did!).

Then I took them all for ice cream, since I figured why not sugar 'em up! Very loud and hectic, but I got into a fun conversation with a guy at Friendly's while we were waiting for our order.

Dropped Micah at gymnastics, dropped Sam and M at M's dad's auto shop, then dropped H home. AH, my ears! Picked up Sam, and enjoyed the calm

My head cold was awful the past few days, but thankfully today I'm starting to feel better. Went to sleep early last night. I've been having REALLY weird dreams all week. Some about Sam's Bar Mitzvah, superimposed over scenes from my wedding (since I recently downloaded the VHS file to digital). Some about the boys' school (I remember dreaming that one of the teachers was actually 2 years older than me (she's SO not!), and telling another teacher but then realizing that that teacher was 6 years younger than me! Also a lot of feeding people dreams, probably brought on by excessive playing of The Restaurant Story, my family's new obsession on all the iPhones!

I got a call from the school nurse this morning - both boys were injured playing dodge ball in gym. I thought they outlawed dodge ball?! Micah hurt his back, but there's no bruise, and Sam got hit in the nose and has a headache.

Ok, I hear my "quiet" daughter tossing toys all over the living room now...

Sitting in "My Office" (i.e. Starbucks)

2011-02-09T13:49:00.003-05:00

Our power went out this morning. I've been waiting for that to happen. The wind has been so strong, and the trees are so heavy with ice and snow, it was just a matter of time.

So I'm sitting in "my office", soaking up the sun on a comfy chair and lovin' my laptop (and the classical music they've got playing today).

On Facebook, many of my original online friends from the t21online.com forum I joined when I found out Sofia would have an extra chromosome have started a FB forum. It's nice, because we can share joys that no one else would understand (most people do not throw a party when their 7 year old learns to pull down his own underpants!). I just posted a question there about biking, and got a terrific answer:

For the past few years, Sofia has been riding in a child seat on the back of my bike. She LOVES to ride, loves the feel of the wind in her face. Other than having to take away her shoes and socks ('cause she'll just chuck 'em anywhere), she's very good about keeping her helmet on and not unstrapping her buckles. And she's even taken some quality naps back there.

But at the end of last season, I noticed that her legs were getting too long. Maybe it was just that they were dangling several inches past the stirrups, or maybe it was the increase in the kicking of my kidneys.

What to do, what to do? Now that both boys are decent riders, we liek to go to a Rail Trail for a family ride in nice weather (yes, I'm sure we'll have nice weather again one day!).

Well, someone just posted this: Buddy Bike.

OMG!!! I'm so excited about this! We had thought about a tag-along bike, but we were totally worried that Miss Sofia would just jump off when she got bored. I don't want to lock her into a trailer like a baby - that takes all the interaction away.

This is exciting. She's able to pedal her trike at school ok, but she's still little enough that there's no way shoe could keep up with us for any length of time.

This could be IT!

Happy Sunday Night

2011-02-06T19:48:00.007-05:00

The boys are all watching the Game in my room, David nearly asleep ,Sam cuddled next to him (Sofia was with them, but she has since passed out and been transferred back to her own room). Micah in the rocker. I'm at my desk, so I can turn around and watch the commercials, the only worthwhile part of the show.

It was a good weekend. Friday night D&E and the girls came for dinner. We made some really yummy sangria, using some of the banana and pineapple liqueurs we bought 12 years ago in Tahiti (plus some dark rum, red wine, a bit of leftover white wine, a can of mandarin orange slices, and ....uh... I thought there was another ingredient but I can't remember what it was!).

We had intended to go to shul, but David was exhausted, so we slept late. Afternoon, I took Micah and Sam and Sam's friend B to meet Micah's buddy and some other kids at Ward Hill, the very local ski place (they apparently call it "Ward Bump"). Sam had taken his snowboarding lessons there, so he went snowboarding while his buddy skied. Micah and his gang went Tubing and had a birthday party. It also rained while we were there, so they were all soaking wet. But very happy. I took Sam and B home when they were done, and Micah got a ride halfway back (I met them in the Walgreens parking lot).

Evening, Sam went to a party at his friend's house - they watched "Valentines Day", which he complained is "really a Chick Flick" - and David and I went out with friends for REALLY yummy sushi in Berlin, at a place called Shiro. We had fun, and then went to the Harvest Cafe in Hudson for live music - first time in YEARS - and coffee. Nice evening.

Today was busy. Sam had a Tefillin workshop at shul for the pre-Bar Mitzvah class. I was very proud of him; he had learned how to wrap Tefillin at camp, so he was very confident and was helping me and my friend R and her daughter. He was so cute!

Micah came with us, and then he went roller skating with the youth group for his grade. He had a blast. He is still friends with some boys from preschool. They have not seen each other much in the past few years, but 3rd grade is when youth group starts, so now they get to see each other again. (The other kids go to public school and the religious school, rather than day school).

Took Micah to Old Navy - always a joy (NOT) - and then met David and the other kids for pizza (great place that has gluten free for Sofia).

Expecting a quiet week, although David resumes travel, starting with exciting Akron (apologies for anyone who actually lives there and/or likes it there).

My Food For Thought: Does the Massachusetts mandated anti-bullying law apply to in-school Antisemitism, and how will our kids know the distinction? David asked me recently if the kids will be learning how to cope with antisemitism, since most will probably go to public high schools. David went to an Orthodox yeshiva from kindergarten through 8th grade, and then inner-city (New Britain) high school with 4000+ kids, only about 3 of whom where Jewish. He had a lot of experiences with antisemitism.

Ok, enough deep thought, impossible to think with the drivel from the TV behind me. I just downloaded about 2 months worth of pictures from my camera. I'm slipping. I used to take tons of pictures. But this year, both my point-and-shoot and my "real" camera are broken, and I'm stuck with Sam's very substandard point-and-shoot, or the camera on my iPhone (which, by the way, now has a cracked screen! I'm going to attempt a repair, already ordered a kit).

So here are a few pics:

Sofia snuggling:

and making "Shabbat" dinner for me:

The lovely view at the Ritz Carlton Palm Beach:

And my gorgeous, 99 year old grandmother, Doris:

The following weekend, I went to Maine with my girlfriends, and on Sunday we "shmeid" around Kennebunkport:

Sofia has taken a few naps in the car recently:

But sometimes I get a lovely smile from her:

The school is buried under so much snow:

But Sam had fun snowboarding:

And here are more Tefillin workshop shots:

(Yes, Micah still hides from the camera. He also moves so much and so fast, when I do manage to get a shot, he's blurry. Trust me, he's adorable.)

Snow snow snow and more snow

2011-02-02T12:37:00.002-05:00

I guess I am not tired of snow days yet, because I wasn't here for MLK weekend, and my kids keep themselves amused (television, movies, computers, books, and toys galore), and I have plenty to do in "free" time, or I just love being lazy. I DO like not having to drive anywhere or put in my contact lenses.

It's been a busy week and a half since my last bubbly post. I am glad you all enjoyed my thankfulness words. I was really bubbling over with happiness and wanted to make sure you all understood how much you mean to me!

The week went by in a blur. Helped out at Whimsical Wednesdays, the preschool program at the day school. This tie, Sofia did not try to leave the room, and she was very attentive and somewhat helpful with the littler kids. No school last Thursday, which means I did not get my massage (boo hoo), but hopefully tomorrow I will be able to go.

Friday evening was the beginning of the Day School Shabbaton (aka "Shabbat Yachad", which means "Shabbat Together". I guess in Israel a Shabbaton is more like a sabatical). Services were at the Conservative shul in Framingham, which is smaller than the one we go to but really lovely. We had a great turn-out from the school community. Each class led one or two prayers. The best is the Kindergarten - they always get "Lecha Dod" which is very bouncy and repetitive, and ADORABLE!

Dinner was yummy (I thought so at least - there are always people who complain). Oh, and my inlaws came up for the weekend, too, so they got to see the kids lead services!

Sofia had a blast running around with the big girls, and the boys with their friends. We went back there in the morning for more services. Sam read Torah very nicely, and gave a short commentary - he did a great job.

By lunchtime, however, my head was going to explode. It was VERY loud, with kids running all over the place. Some families are more strict than others when it comes to what their children are allowed to do during services, so there was a good-sized crowd of rowdy kids in the hallway making waaay too much noise, and during lunch they all started running around the social hall and screaming.

Finally got home - my inlaws left, and Micah went home with a friend for a playdate. Sam wasn't feeling great, so we sent him to his room to rest, we put on TV for Sofia, and David and I fell asleep for most of the afternoon. Ahhhhh. In the evening, I picked up Micah, and we all relaxed at home some more.

Which was good, since at 4am on Sunday, Sofia was screaming that her belly hurt. I was in her room (as was Micah, since we hadn't changed the sheet in his room and his grandfather had slept in his bed, which is more comfortable than the pullout couch), so I did not get much sleep.

And when I got up at 6 to move back to my room, I realized that the heat was off :(

The heating guy came around 11am for an emergency call. Boy, that's a good gig. $314 to tell us that the heater was actually fine but the chimney was blocked.

Sam's friend came over, and the plan was that David was going to take Sam and his friend to slot car racing while I took Micah and Sofia to a birthday party. However, my Samuel had a temper tantrum, which caused his father, already stressed from the cost of getting the heat back, to flip out.

So I ended up taking all 4 kids to the party, which was for a 7 year old girl. There was another 4th grade boy there, so I left Sofia at the party (which was for my friend D's daughter, so D was able to watch her), and I took the 4 boys to the Arcade for a while. Then back to the party in time for Dodge Ball. Then I took the 4 boys and Sofia - quick stop home to check (David had gone to his office to work and get more stressed), and then I took them to slot car racing.

UGH. Left the boys there, paid for their half hour, and sat in the car with Sofia and a splitting headache. Sofia slept.

Back home to pack, drop boy #4 home and then to our friends' house (boy #3) where the kids and I slept over. We went back out to meet David for dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant, The Aztec in Framingham. The 6 kids (they have two girls and one boy) had fun watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" on the TV in the restaurant while the grownups enjoyed being together.

Very grateful to stay at their house, which was nice and warm. David opted to stay at our house, and got up every hour to run the water so the pipes didn't freeze.

Monday morning Micah went to school with our friends, while I brought Sam back to Ashland for his reading group, and then Sofia and I took him to school. Then Sofia had her dental checkup. She was so good! Hopped right in the chair, wore the pink princess sunglasses, opened her mouth like a champ! I didn't even have to hold her.

Dentist was totally impressed with her articulation and lack of dental decay. Yeah!

Chimney guys came in the afternoon, and not only showed us how to properly use our chimney (by this time the house was filled with smoke, because we'd tried lighting a fire before the heating guy came!), but also told us the things that were actually wrong with our heating system. And the chimney was not actually blocked, it just wasn't venting properly.

So now we have heat again, AND we know how to have a fireplace fire without killing us.

Which is good, since we were home again today. Boys got out at 11:00 yesterday, Sofia had no school (and was sick - she fell asleep with a fever in the middle of school on Monday afternoon!). We hung out at D's house for lunch and a movie, then home. Here for the duration.

Stay warm and safe, everyone.

It really IS a Wonderful Life

2011-01-25T11:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday. And birthdays are always a good opportunity to reflect.

I am SOOOOO lucky.

I am SOOOOO happy.

I am SOOOOO loved.

I have a wonderful husband. Terrific children whom I adore. Loving family. And amazing friends.

On Facebook, I received well over 85 messages wishing me a happy birthday. The whole Landscape of My Life came into sharp focus. Sweet messages from people all over the world, people who have been part of my life a long time or a short time, people who knew me "when" or know me now. But all people who cared enough to stop a moment and wish me a happy birthday.

I am happy with who I am. I like what I do (ok, it would be nice to get paid for it, but I'm lucky to be able to indulge). I like how I act. I even like how I look.

I like to smile.

I am so grateful to have such a WONDERFUL life, and to have so many WONDERFUL people in it!

(And it wasn't any kind of special activity day, really. After dropping off the boys, Sofia and I had coffee with my dear friend H, then grocery shopping and then home for a while. Got her to school, ran another errand, worked out, worked on the computer until boys got home. Picked up Sofia, off to a makeup gymnastics class for her and then makeup Tae Kwan Do class for the boys, then out to dinner. David met us for dinner, and the tab was picked up - by surprise - by his friend who happened to be at the same restaurant.)

Stay safe on the roads, everyone (especially those in snow, but heck, stay safe even without snow!). Expecting another snow day tomorrow - had Friday off too.

Home Sweet Home

2011-01-20T22:31:00.003-05:00

We had a really lovely weekend. Saturday evening, we had a nice meal (although we brought the average age of the patrons down by about 40 years!) not too far from the hotel. Sunday, we drove down to Hallendale, to check on David's grandmother's apartment, where we'd stayed last April for Passover. Then we stopped at one of the 26 kosher places in Aventura to get deli sandwiches. Then I watched my husband drive 105 mph on I95 to get back to the hotel. He was SO happy :)

Had our sandwiches poolside, and relaxed. Sunday evening, a very expensive Italian dinner in Palm Beach. We were the only customers sitting outside (gorgeous by our standards, too cold for those southern wimps).

Monday it rained most of the day.Worked out, showered and dressed, checked out, had a quick bite, then hung out on the patio for a few hours. Then off to Grandma Doris' house again.

Took her out to dinner. Watched my 99 year old grandmother drink a beer, eat jalapenos, and down half a rack of ribs!

Had a lovely time just hanging out with her.

Tuesday was gorgeous, so we were poolside most of the day, which was especially wonderful since it was snowing and slushing back home. Had to do a lot of over-the-phone mothering, to arrange rides and reschedule after-school activities.

Our flight was only delayed by a little over an hour, so we landed in Boston at 11pm. Got home, kissed my kiddoes, and that was that.

Well, not totally. In the morning, the boys continued to complain to me over breakfast. They were VERY glad to see me! And when I got back from driving them, Sofia glommed right on to me for a long time. Yet my parents assured me that the weekend was wonderful.

Well. Yes. As long as you have their perspective. Which is "parent by strictness and threats."

My dad's major flub was this: in trying to get Sofia to clean up her toys, he threatened, "If you don't clean them up, I'll throw them away." Ok, how many of you think THAT worked? Of course not. Sofia thought it was a great game, and tossed a whole bunch of toys into the garbage bag! (Which my dad had the courtesy to just hide in the bathroom...)

My mother insists it's all about being stern. "Micah has you too wrapped, he cons you too much. I tell him to do something, and that's it, he just does it."

Uh, yeah. When my mother says "jump" you do not ask "how high" because you are SUPPOSED TO ALREADY KNOW!

So.

I appreciate them taking care of the kids, but I wish they understood more. And no, I do NOT tell them. For one thing, I am my own person now. I moved away to not live under their rules. For another, they ARE my parents, and I do owe them some respect. And they are very loving grandparents. And yes, it's nice that they will occasionally watch the kids so I can escape with my husband!

So I don't muddy the water, and I coach my kids. Let's face it - not everyone they will encounter in their lives will be exactly how they expect. So they need to learn to cope with a variety of personalities.

In a somewhat similar vein, both boys yesterday said they had been "yelled at" by teachers for misbehaving when they had not been doing anything. In both cases, they were sitting with kids who WERE misbehaving. So I explained a few things:

1. the teachers at their school almost NEVER "yell"
2. Some of the kids really do misbehave, and the staff constantly had to be "on" them
3. If you sit with someone who is misbehaving, the teachers might actually think that you were doing something wrong, just because of proximity.
4. Kids who misbehave frequently can sometimes tune out. If the teachers also address the other kids around them, it makes them pay a bit more attention.
5. If your friend is misbehaving, and you do nothing to stop him, then you SHOULD be reprimanded. You SHOULD help your friend behave properly, BEFORE the trouble starts. Peer pressure is very powerful, and if you can use your own pressure for good, than you have a responsibility to do so.

Enough parenting. Assuming they have school tomorrow (another storm is expected), it'll be a busy day - Sam has appointments in Ashland public school both before and after school, plus a stop at the orthodontist. Then I wait impatiently for David to get home from work so I can go meet my girlfriends and head to Maine for a Girl's Weekend! YEAH!

Escape from Snow

2011-01-15T12:34:00.002-05:00

Well, I was very fuzzy-headed on Monday and Tuesday, so I don't feel like I got a lot done. DID manage a mani/pedi, whew!

Tuesday there was some planning confusion, but eventually it worked out - Sam is taking Snowboarding lessons for the next few weeks. He is so happy! And I'm pleased to say that the mom who took him was very impressed with him and his behavior. Always a good kid...at least for other people :)

Wednesday, of course, was a major snow storm. Stayed inside with Sofia all day, although the boys all had fun outside. Took forever to shovel.

The boys did not have school on Thursday, ugh, but Sofia did, yeah. And Thursday was THE DAY. The sitter came in the morning so I could run a couple of errands (like retrieving my bluetooth earpiece from Staples, where I had lost it on Tuesday). Then my parents arrived, and David and I left for the airport.

We are now in sunny south Florida! We stayed with my grandmother on Thursday night. She's 99 and still lives on her own and is AMAZING. Friday morning we took her out for a pedicure. Then we packed up and headed to Palm Beach. We are staying at the Ritz Carlton - gotta love all the travel points David gets!

Of course it's a nice place. Gorgeous. We ate lunch poolside, although it was VERY VERY windy, so we didn't stay out too long. David took a nap in the afternoon while I worked out. We walked across the street for some yummy sushi for dinner. And we sat in the lounge and had tea in the evening. Nice and relaxing.

However, the boys keep texting and calling us. They are MISERABLE with my parents! Micah actually called while we were still at the airport in Boston - "Mama, when are you coming home? I miss you so much!" Poor boys. The text messages are really really funny (from this end):

MICAH: Wean are u comeing home?Gradma is a bain in the butt!!! Plzz anser the phone.

And last night:

Micah: Ima iv gon nuts
ME: Sorry about that
Micah: I can't think at all I literly can't think of enything. Wen are u comeing home
Me: Tuesday
Micah: A few days I can't deel with them for one second
ME: Love you:
Micah: Love us so sooooo-ooooooo-soooooo-soooo- MUCH!
Me: I love you too. Smooch!
Micah: Wen u come home I will literly hug u for an hour
Me: Ok I will look forward to that
Micah: Ok

While those texts were coming through, Sam was on the phone: "Mama, why is Grandma so crazy? She's freaking out because the 10% coupon was expired. Now she wants to return everything. And she woke Sofia up by just shaking her just so she could get her changed into a pullup."

Of course, when I do speak to my mother, she is completely unaware of how the boys feel! In fact, Thursday when I told her Micah had phoned me, she yelled at him!

So is this child abuse? I am subjecting my children to the same mental insecurity that I grew up with. It's only for a few days, and I know that some of the pleading and missing me is really because it's me, mama. But I feel so bad knowing that they are unhappy.

And at the same time, I am somewhat pleased that they will appreciate me more! Also, I pointed out to Sam that this is why I get so upset when HE freaks out. "Yeah, but I only do that some times. Grandma is 24/7!" But he is starting to understand it.

The other interesting thing is that my mother is doing exactly what her mother did, and she's unaware of that too. Grandma Sarah spoiled me rotten. I was most definitely and obviously the Favorite Grandchild. Well, my mom is like that with Sam. And granted, Sam is easy to "spoil" because he is so happy with material items. But she does so to the exclusion of Micah, who is much more difficult to please. And I feel so bad, the way I used to feel bad for my sister and my cousin when Grandma Sarah made a big deal over me in front of them.

And then there's Sofia, who is probably mostly fine, but would NOT get off the phone with me this morning. She wanted me to sing to her, and kept crying for the phone when the boys took it from her.

Tonight the boys are going with my friend D and her family to a game at the Garden, and then sleeping over D's house. She is always a VERY GOOD friend, but this is approaching sainthood. My parents took the kids (and D's daughter) to the movies and pizza yesterday - having A around certainly helped the boys stay calm. Dad took the big kids to see "The Green Hornet" and mom took Sofia to see "Tangled" again. (Oh, no school Friday for Professional Development Days at both schools. And no school Monday for MLK).

So David and I are enjoying the warmer weather, and sleeping late, and relaxing, but I'm still "mommying". We're at CityPlace now, in Palm Beach - nice outdoor mall. Ritz charges a fortune for internet access (and for everything else), so we came here for food and connectivity. But now I'm going shopping!!!

Fun Day Today

2011-01-09T20:47:00.002-05:00

We went to Coco Key, an indoor water park in Fitchburg. AAA has a buy two get one free deal, so we took the kids plus one extra.

Much fun. Sofia loved the water, and of course charmed many people there. Everyone is waterlogged and exhausted (although Sofia is fighting it and snuggling next to me, so I am typing with one hand).

Went out as grownups last night with another couple. Also fun.

The new website for MWJDS went live on Friday. I am so glad I got to work on that!

David and I are heading to Florida on Thursday for a much needed weekend without kids. My folks are coming up to watch the children. We are staying with my grandmother (who is 99 years young) on the first and last nights, and using travel points to stay at the Ritz Carlton Palm Beach the rest of the time! I intend to sleep. A lot.

Happy 2011

2011-01-03T12:46:00.002-05:00

Just dropped Sofia at school, the "vacation" week is finally over! HOORAY!

We did indeed get a blizzard. I stayed in pajamas from Saturday afternoon until Monday. AHHHHHHH. Nice. Did very little.

So after the relaxing days of the blizzard, I ventured out into the real world with my children. First stop, grocery shopping and ski pants for Micah. Which also included a tantrum from Sofia. UGH.

Most of the week is a blur. Took them roller skating one day with my friend and her kids. That was ...hell... But the boys enjoyed it.

Took the boys and A to see "Tron: Legacy" on afternoon. Had to run out in the middle of the movie to get a coffee.

Friday night, however, was tremendous. Lovely. Had several other families over for delicious food and a wonderful time. (Pot luck, so I can say it was delicious, since I didn't make all of it.) Great way to ring in the new year and celebrate Shabbat.

Actually got off to shul in the morning. Saturday afternoon Sofia had a playdate, finally, with her friend from school. The mom and I have been trying for over a year to schedule a playdate!

Sunday, we all went up to Salem, to the Peabody Essex Museum. Gorgeous. But Sam was in a mood, and museums with Sofia usually means I run around chasing her and then sit and watch her eat a snack. Yup. One day I'll go back to all the museums I have run through in the past 10 years and see everything I missed.

Ah. Now they are all back in school. YEAH!

Lovely but weird

2010-12-25T20:15:00.003-05:00

For all who celebrated today, Merry Christmas. And for all who observed Shabbat, Shavua Tov (a good week, the traditional greeting when Shabbat is over).

We actually had a "traditional" meal last night - we went out for Chinese food with two other families! I must admit, I far prefer home-based Shabbat dinners! The restaurant was loud, the food was not very good (the boys had mediocre sushi, Sofia and I had awful Special Veggie dish. David at least got to eat shrimp, but he said it wasn't good either.). And I really can't wait until next week, when the same two families are coming here for Shabbat and New Years Eve!

Today was nice. Of course Sofia woke me up waaaaaaay too early, but eventually we dragged ourselves to shul. Sofia was in a miserable mood, got angry at David, and would only be happy in Mommy's arms. Sam and Micah and their friend led Ashrei, and did a great job, although they were all so short you couldn't see them over the top of the reader's table.

After services, there was a lunch - this was the first time they had asked for donations, and I guess enough of us had paid the requested price and several people had paid way more, so it was MEAT! This is a community that doesn't get much kosher meat, at least communally. Deli - YUM! (Why? 'Cause there is no place close by to get it, nearest is 40 minute drive, and kosher meat is VERY expensive!).

After lunch, there was a quick minyan (second service of the day) and then Game Day. Everyone had brought lots of board games and other non-electronic games. It was lovely to sit around and talk with friends and play. Sofia had fun with her princess dolls and some other girls (although she did drop several dolls over into the lift shaft of the small elevator that lifts a wheelchair to the stage - David had to climb over the wall to get them back).

Just as we were getting ready to go home, David came in carrying a magazine. There is a big brochure and literature display in the hallway, and he had found this magazine. Which would normally be just a normal publication from another Jewish organization, except...

...the older lady on the cover is my great-aunt Toby. Who passed away several years ago.

So that was reallyt weird. I started crying a bit. I really miss her! What an amazing lady she was. Here's the post I wrote when she passed away.

Ok.

Anyway, when we got home, David and I took naps, despite Sofia's best efforts to keep me awake. Then Dr. Who marathon, and now we are getting ready for the new Dr. Who special. YEAH!

It's supposed to blizzard tomorrow. We'll see.

Sam's IEP

2010-12-16T21:33:00.002-05:00

Whew! I survived Sam's IEP meeting. Of course, the normal drama before: Sofia woke up at 4am with a stomach bug, and I spent all morning (while I was getting a massage!) trying to find a sitter since my morning sitter had to leave for work by noon. Sofia ended up watching Disney movies at my friend's house - and barfing on their carpet. But I was very appreciative!

Anyway, the meeting was good. There is NO DOUBT that Sam still qualifies for services. We were able to highlight the specific problems - anxiety, self esteem, reading, processing speed, word retrieval, etc. We only spent about 10 minutes on the actual IEP document, but we brainstormed a lot. David is in Baltimore, so I had him write out his statement, which basically boils down to "Whatever we're doing, it's not working. Sam can't read or write."

So.

We discussed some of the other teaching methods for dyslexia, and will be following up with several. We are also going to have Sam go to the public school for some reading support (yeah, more driving for me), which will not only get him support, but will also get him to start interacting with other kids who he will probably be with in high school.

So.

I'm satisfied. Maybe I'm naive, or we are just charmed. I hear from my friends who are either IEP parents or advocates how tough the public schools can be about services. Yet for my kids, it feels like they give us everything we ask for.

I also asked the public school OT, who has been involved with Sam's IEP since the beginning and who is also on Sofia's plan, to attend, and she was able to voice the question about whether he should stay at the day school, which eventually led to the compromise of having him come for some services.

Whew!

So now I have a sick child sleeping on my bed. Hopefully she'll be better and sleep longer - I'm tired!

Fish Killer!

2010-12-13T14:06:00.002-05:00

Poor Sam. Sofia has killed "Gefilte Fish", the goldfish he got at school.

How did my delicate daughter manage to do this? Well, apparently a 3/4" long fish stands no chance against the following items being thrown into the tank:

- vampire "teeth" (poor fishy was trapped under these)
- a small (half-inch) teddy bear
- a larger (5") plastic grizzly bear
- a 2" round flat rock

Gefilte received a burial at sea this morning. He hung in for many hours after The Incident, but he looked so miserable, even Sam wasn't sorry when the end finally came.

In other news, I simply love our pediatrician. Sofia needed nebs again at 1:00 am (has needed them at 5am for nearly a week), and now has a rash all over her torso, so not only is Miss Sofia on antibiotics, but doc gave me scripts for both boys, who continue to be less-than-completely-healthy. So hopefully we will finally get rid of this "cold" that has been haunting us for two weeks.

Sofia came with me Thursday to cook at shul, but she did go back to school Friday. The luncheon was well-received on Shabbos - since it was Camp Shabbat (with reps from various overnight camps), we had a very kid-friendly meal of pizza, tuna, egg salad, veggies, and brownies. And lemonade! David was in charge of our kids, while I was in the kitchen the entire morning.

Saturday night, we got to go out as grown-ups with another couple, and had a FABULOUS time. And a bit too much tequila. But really GOOD tequila. And great sushi. YUM.

Sunday, Sam was singing in the Day School concert (all the area schools together). We got him a ride there with the principal, and David had to leave for the airport, but I got to the concert with the other kids about 45 minutes late, so I missed most of it. But heard the high school a-cappella group do an awesome version of Todd Rundgren's "Honest Work".

Took my kids and my "adopted" daughter (Sam's classmate, my friend's daughter) to Taam China for kosher Chinese food. Crazy, but fun. And David's flight got canceled, so I brought him some take-home food. (He left this morning instead).

Finally figured out how to get Sofia's movies loaded onto the hard drive of the Blu Ray drive, so now we don't have to touch the dvds any more. Whew!

I'm TIRED. Up half the night helping Sofia breath.

Sick Week

2010-12-08T21:49:00.003-05:00

Both boys stayed home from school on Monday. Sam had a tiny bit of fever in the morning, threw up (on my carpet, thanks), and then was absolutely fine. Micah just felt awful.

Sofia did go to school, and Sam hung out at David's office with my friend D while Micah and I went off to Newton Wellesley Hospital. I had a hand checkup and he had his allergist checkup.

While we were waiting for my appointment, Micah popped a fever. Since my doc was running late, we went over to his appointment first. Poor kid felt awful. Slight temp. Just enough to feel bad.

And of course he lapped up the attention from his allergist, reporting, amongst other things, that he was being "hit and slapped and kicked" by a girl in his class. A-hem. In reality (I checked with the teacher the next morning) it's one of his best buddies, and not nearly as violent as it sounds...

So, after we finally saw my doc (I need to go to hand therapy, for "post op pillar pain" relief), we went to my friend D's house - she and Sam had picked up Sofia from preschool and we all had pizza. David showed up, too!

Micah stayed home Tuesday. In the morning the sitter was here, so I took Sam to school, and got to stay for all-school Tefillah. It was lovely, and especially nice because my mentor, the cantor who taught me my High Holiday "stuff" was the guest speaker. And Sam rocked his Torah reading!

We did go to tae kwan do, but Micah felt totally awful afterwards. But then, our former nanny, Betty, showed up for dinner and her yearly visit, so the boys were up until after 9pm. But they were very happy to see her.

So Micah stayed home again today. I took Sofia with me to drop Sam off, then came home and fell sound asleep for two hours! And Miss Sofia was giving herself a snot facial all morning, so she stayed home, too.

Micah's feeling better but Sofia's certainly worse. She seems to be feeling ok - went to gymnastics - but she looks horrible, face all red, eyes and nose running. Poor baby. Which means she'll be home again tomorrow. No fever, though, which is good.

So now I'm sitting in bed next to my honey, watching "Chances Are" and trying to figure out how to get more movies transferred over to the new blu ray drive. Yeah.

Tomorrow I have to cook for camp Shabbat at shul, but I also have to go to hand therapy and I'll have Sofia with me. Ugh.

Tuck & Roll

2010-12-05T21:24:00.005-05:00

It's been a loooong week! Being on Benadryl for 2 weeks, and Steroid eye drops for a week, made focusing my brain on anything VERY difficult. Which wouldn't have been a problem if 1) I didn't have these kids and 2) I didn't have 35 lines of Torah to read on Saturday!

Sofia's been in A MOOD all week. Friday, it was "tuck and roll" when I took her to school - I couldn't wait to get away from her!

By Friday, I was also panicked because the 35 lines were not sticking in my brain, so thankfully I was able to give 10 lines to someone else.

And thankfully, my dear friend H invited us to dinner on Friday evening - Micah went home with them for a play date right after school, and Sam and Sofia and I went over later.

Thursday morning I also had a nice time shopping with my other dear friend D - we got a little punchy as we shopped, but it was fun. Put together our gift basket for the faculty and staff at the school.

Saturday, the boys looked SO handsome! Sam had his new suit, and Micah actually wore a sport coat (although his "dressy" pants turned out to be jeans - I lost that argument - but the outfit really worked).

Unfortunately, Sam started feeling ery sick during shul, and fell asleep as soon as we got home. Woke up with 102.7 temp, poor kid. Which also meant that he missed his other friend's bat mitzvah party in the evening. Fortunately, he is feeling better today - we went to pediatrician this morning, and strep test was negative.

So we hung out all afternoon. David came home from Copenhagen around 8pm, and after Sofia went to bed, the rest of us stayed up watching a DVD.

Today David had to deal with what we call "re-entry" - trying to get back into the swing of having three little kids around. It's difficult. Besides the trip to the pediatrician, I had a Zamir lunch to attend (we were honoring the Alto Section Leader, so a lot of us alums needed to be there), and Micah had a birthday party (which also meant he needed to buy a gift). Soit was kind of a crazy day.

But eventually we all had dinner together, and lit the chanukiyot (menorahs) together.

Oh, and a story from last week about Sofia:

Friday afternoon, we were eating lunch with my sister and the girls, and talking about Micah's gymnastics class. We were about to change topics, when Sofia piped up:

"Fia! Monkey Gym! Class! Fia!!!"

She didn't want us to forget to talk about her gymnastics class, too! It was the first time I was really sure she had been following the conversation. She was so totally engaged!

On another note, I heard from Dr. Skotco on Friday regarding the results of the sleep study.

- No Apnea
- No unusual Limb Movements
- Cardiac was fine

However, she had elevated CO2 and low Oxygen. Which of course could either be normal for her (since they didn't have waking levels) or could be a result of having to sleep prone on her back all night (if you've got low muscle tone, it could be just harder to breath fully when laying on your back).

So they are recommending a chest xray and blood gasses. I'll do the blood work when we do her regular blood tests for endocrinology. Not sure if I want to follow through with the chest xray. Will take the appointment with the sleep specialist, to hear what he has to say, but not making any firm decisions yet.

Meanwhile, she's successfully wearing underpants every day, and only having accidents once in a while. Biggest challenge is "spray" - she has an uncanny nack for peeing across the room - I'd thought only little boys could get that kind of coverage! It's because she's so interested in the fact that she's peeing, she leans over too far. Gross.

Micah has been having a lot of mood swings, especially during school, and we were starting to get worried...until Friday, at the school talent show, when we realized that all he truly needs is a microphone! They had to pry it out of his hands, and he was SO happy! (But I am still altering his diet, and pulling sugar and much of his starch. Now I need to find a protein he will actually eat.)

A Hanukah Miracle

2010-12-01T13:20:00.001-05:00

My husband just experienced a Hanukah miracle. In Copenhagen, trying to find matches so he can light the travel menorah I gave him this year. Can't find matches anywhere. Tries and tries and tries. Sundown is coming...then he looks down, and finds...a LIGHTER on the ground! Just in time!

So here's another video... there are SO many!

So Far today

2010-12-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

So far today, I have been:

- warming blanket (for Sofia in my bed)
- alarm clock
- bathroom monitor
- respiratory therapist (Sofia needed nebs, thanks, Lilie)
- psychologist (Sam was bemoaning his dyslexia)
- orthopedic expert (Micah twisted his ankle)
- short-order cook
- hair stylist
- chauffeur
- athlete (hey, humor me there - I worked out as hard as I could!)
- tech support geek (got the blu ray and the VCR both working!)

And it's only 10:00! Can I go back to sleep now?

But tonight is the first night of Chanukah, so here's one of my favorites: