Melt Down about "Boy"

Whew, that was a long day. Mostly from 2:45 onward...

I was SO happy to get the kids back to school yesterday. And it's sort of scary how much delight David and I took in having to wake Sofia up both mornings: "Sofia! Wake Up! Morning Coming!" Payback...

It also felt good to get back to being "Hamorah Francine", the teacher. I got to work with my Torah students yesterday and today - very rewarding. Especially because I just love all the kids at this school!

So today: it took a bit to get us all out of the house, since they are still on "waking up late" time. Dropped Sofia at Breakfast Bunch, got the boys and myself to the day school. Worked with a new Torah reader, with lots of sweet giggles. Had a couple of quick check-ins with various folk.

Spent an hour running errands - FINALLY mailed out our 2011 Holiday Cards - then went to my favorite bagel place (Cafe Bagel) for some delayed breakfast and a lovely chat with the wonderful owner. Went home and sorted out some stuff, then had a very long and fruitful phone conversation with the rabbi of the synagogue where we will be holding our school Shabbaton in a few weeks.

Got Sofia, brought her back to the day school, reviewed Torah readings with Micah's class, had a very productive meeting with the school psychologist. We are coming up on Sofia's IEP, and it was useful to review with P (who is also the IEP coordinator for the day school) what some of our concerns and questions are for the public school. The nice thing is that, in December, the staff from the day school spent some time observing at the public school, and they now have much more information for me - most of it really good, positive news.

I've been feeling very out-of-the-loop about how Sofia is doing at the public school, because we get almost no written feedback, and of course Sofia is not telling us anything. So it's good to know things are going well.

My own biggest concern is the potty. They are still insisting on taking her to the nurse's office to use the potty, and at least once a week, she comes home in a change of outfit. She does NOT have accidents at home or at the other school, so I'm not sure what the heck is going on. And I've been stonewalled every time I ask. No one seems to "own" the decision. So that will be my own major issue for discussion at the IEP meeting. Besides academics, of course.

Anyway, after I met with P, I got to be Hamorah Francine again, this time by bringing the Torah itself down to the Kindergarten room (I was going to bring them to see it in theCafetorium, but there was a music class going on).

It was SO much fun to be able to show the students the Torah. Most of them had never been "up close" to see the scroll. I pointed out the words of the Shema, which they know by heart (and which has some unusually-sized letters). Sofia was thrilled ot have both Mama and Torah at the same time, and she was very definite about dismissing Hamorah A, her aide, when I appeared! (Although A stayed until I put my Mama hat back on again).

No, the big exhaustion came at the end of school. Samuel started his snowboard lessons today, along with one of his friends. So he was staying in the aftercare program until his friend's dad, came to get them. I collected Sofia, Micah and two children who usually walk (but it was way too cold, so I was driving them). But Sofia refused to budge without "Boy". She was laying on the ground in front of the door, screaming for Boy. She got so very upset. Shouting "Boy" and demanding we get him. We had to go back in to school and get a hug from him, and even then, it was difficult to get her in the car.

Dropped the other kids at their house, took Micah to Old Navy for some jeans. Sofia was VERY vocal about not liking the design of the new shopping carts, and then even more vocal about "HUNGRY!" Thank heavens they now have snacks in the check out line, although she ate half and then tossed it on the ground.

Took Micah to gymnastics, took Sofia to Starbucks, then sat in the car with her for 45 minutes waiting for Micah. She watched her Signing Times video on my phone while I napped ;)

Treated the two kids to sushi (takeout), and got her to bed a little earlier tonight. Before she fell asleep, we were practicing her reading lesson for the weekend reading group. And I discovered something amazing about my daughter:

SHE CAN READ!!!!!!

Not every word, but most of them. She can actually read the WORDS, not just identify them because of the pictures on the page. 'Cause she can read them without the pictures on the page!

She can also count to 10, and identify almost immediately how many items are on a given page.

I am SO proud of that little girl!

End of December

First, I wish everyone a happy and healthy New Year, and I hope that whatever holiday you may have celebrated (or still be celebrating) was wonderful.

I just returned from a quick trip to West Palm Beach, Florida, to visit my 100 year old grandmother, Doris. But I should probably say "100 years Young":



We should all be like this lady! She is quite amazing. Still lives alone. Stopped driving only last year (she said her eyesight isn't as good anymore - although she only wears glasses for reading!). Loves to dance and drink and cook and play cards.

I could only escape my family for three days. David and the kids drove me to the airport Friday evening, and I landed in WPB at midnight. She kept me up until after 2am, looking at the photos from her 100th birthday party (which I had missed, back in October). I had brought her a digital photo frame and put all the pics on that. She loved it.

We went to the mall Saturday morning. Shopped a bit, went out to lunch. She thought perhaps she wanted to buy an iPad! However, I convinced her that a Nook Color would be what she needed - and Saturday afternoon (15 minutes before the store closed), I raced back to buy it for her! (I also got to spend a few hours poolside. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!)

Spent Sunday, which was Christmas day, setting up her Nook and sitting by the pool. Thankfully, the Clubhouse has WiFi, so she'll be able to download books there. She likes the ability to make the print bigger. I also set her up with email, but I don't know if she'll actually use it.

Sunday night, we joined thousands of other Members Of The Tribe for an ancient ritual - in our case, deli, rather than Chinese Food. Extremely long line to get in, chock full of folks from Central Casting - old Jewish folk, mostly from New York, but a few Israelis and Russians, too. And the visiting "children" of all ages.

The wonderful thing about South Florida, and especially about eating out, is that you talk to EVERYONE. Everyone wants to make a comment, or ask how your food is, or tell you their own complaints and woes. It's a riot.

(Actually, at lunch on Saturday, I got into a conversation with the ladies next to us about Special Need Adoption - two of them work for an agency in Philly!).

Still: Romanian steak with onions, kasha varnishkes, homemade stuffed derma. Heaven's got nothing on Boca.

Spent Monday morning at the pool and then took Grandma grocery shopping. Then it was time to come home. So sad to leave. It was sweet - on the phone I asked Micah if he wanted me to bring him anything back from Florida, and he said "Can you bring Grandma?" I really wish I could (well, no, actually, I wish I could stay there - its' much too cold for her here!).

So my 100 year old bathing beauty:


will stay home:


With her digital photo frame and her Nook, and her granddaughter will try hard to go see her again soon.


Meanwhile, back at the ranch...David took the kids to shul and then in the evening to Kosher Chinese (the REAL custom!). Sunday he took them down to my uncle's house for Christmas, and Sam went home with my sister and the twins for the week. My folks will bring him back Thursday (so it'll be nice and peaceful here for a few days!). Yesterday, David took the little ones to the Chipmunk movie (yeah, means I don't have to go!!!).

The two kids were VERY happy to have Mama back. Micah, who had been calm and mellow all weekend, was bouncing off the walls, and Sofia kept clutching me. Mama can't go away for more than a few days.

The rest of December was nice. We had a Bat Mitzvah on the 17th, my dear friend's daughter, who used to be in Sam's class. Micah didn't come to the party, opting for an afternoon with his friends instead, but the rest of us had a blast.

Hanukah has been nice and mellow. A few new movies and video games, an RC Copter for Micah, snow hats for the boys, a "Cowgirl Jessie" doll for Sofia. Simple pleasures.

Sam bought himself an iPod Nano - with his own money! He's trying hard to grow up.

Laura's boyfriend installed a new laminate floor in the boys' bedroom - it looks FABULOUS. We rearranged the furniture, so the room looks much bigger. Of course, there is still a large pile of stuff in the hallway to be sorted through, but we are trying to throw out (or donate, if appropriate) as much as we can. Of course, for all his trying to grow up, Sam would only get rid of about 3 stuffed animals ;)

I'm happy.

Just simply happy. Not ecstatic. Not overjoyed. Just pleased with life in general. I love love love working at the school. I love being a mommy. I love my husband (although I do wish HE were happier, but we're working on it - work is very stressful for him). I have wonderful friends, near and far. I have a nice house, which is getting nicer (hopefully in time for the Bar Mitzvah in June!). I have some cool tech toys (I got a slide converter, and am working on digitizing a carton-load of my dad's slides; I also took his old Super8 movies in to be digitized, and found a reel from my mother's childhood, that my grandfather had made, that ended with my parents' wedding!).

Life is good.


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Oh, and Dear "Anonymous" - I will not be publishing your hateful comment. Sometimes you have made a good point - notice that now I block out faces of background folk - but your way of saying things is so nasty. Please thing about how "words hurt" before you type. Take a deep breath. And feel free to use your own name. I do not publish "Anonymous" comments.

A Mild and Relaxed week (for a change!)

So we dropped Sofia at school on Monday, and the boys and I ran errands. This included a jaunt to the Mall. Sam bought himself a new iPod Nano with his own money (amazing!!!). My parents had gotten him an iPod Touch last year for Hanukah, and it has both music and games. And it is the first thing we are likely to take away from him when he misbehaves. So he figured if he wanted to listen to his music, he'd better get something that was JUST for music (much less likely to be punished for music than for games).

Micah stressed over a decision at Game Stop. Ultimately we had to go to the store three different times during the week, and he finally got something (with birthday gift cards) yesterday. Exhausting! But at least he is enjoying his new Wii game (a Zelda title, not sure which).

I "worked" at the school all day Wednesday, which was fun. I really love being there and working with the kids and the office staff. But I had the oddest dream at the beginning of the week. I dreamed that I went to Professional Development Day, and all the classroom and Hebrew teachers were brand new, so just the office staff and the few "specials" (art, gym, literacy) were familiar faces. We had to go around and introduce ourselves and tell our plans for the year. But after each person spoke, they left the room. And I was the last person to speak. So it was only me and the Office Manager left.

I handed out Torah portions to Micah's classmates for their January 25 "debut" reading. They had read a paragraph as a whole class together last year, but this time they each have their own one or two lines to learn. They were very excited. And the 3rd graders looked on with varying degrees of jealousy - their turn is next, and they will read in May.

Anyway, while I was with Micah's class, his friend A (my "adopted brother"'s younger daughter) said to me "We're having lobster tonight, and I don't like lobster, so can I come home with you?" Too cute. She did come tagging along with us, to Sam's dentist appointment (she and Micah stayed in the car and did their homework), then to drop Micah at gymnastics, then to shul for Sam's first lesson with the cantor, then back to gymnastics. Her father and brother met us and we took the kids out to dinner (so really, only her mother and sister were having the lobster anyway!). Craziness, but still fun.

Another of Micah's classmates and her mom came for Shabbat dinner, which was really nice - mom is my friend, first from shul and now from the day school. Nice evening.

Lazy weekend. We skipped shul (no babysitting, and I just did not have the energy to chase Sofia around), and all the kids got haircuts in the afternoon. Sam convinced me to let him get what David calls a "high and tight" - very very short on the sides, and very short on top. Fortunately, the kid has a gorgeous head and face, so it's not too horrible, but really not my taste.

Evening, Micah went to his friend J's sleep-over party, but knew in advance that he would not want to sleep over. I dropped Micah off and picked up J's brother, who was coming to our house for sleepover with Sam. They watched a couple of movies, and I could leave them with a sleeping Sofia while I went later to pick up Micah.

This morning, more movies, more hanging out. David finally returned from India, and we picked him up at the bus at about 3:45. Home, take-out sushi, and he passed out right away. Got Sofia to bed, and helped Sam work on his Social Studies project some more. We think the model is done (three story house! thank heavens we remembered I own a glue gun!).

I finally made plans to see Grandma. David's suggestion: I am going by myself the weekend of Christmas. I leave Friday evening (landing quite late), and come back Monday afternoon. He will take the kids to my uncle's house for Christmas day. I get two-and-a-half kid-free days with my grandma. YEAH!

What happened to November???

So when last we "spoke", there was a mouse in my closet. Mousie continued to terrorize me for the week. On Thursday of that week, my friend D came over to help me clean the closet, and we managed to put together 25 bags of things to be donated! I have a very clean and organized closet now, and I found some old clothing that fits me again, which was nice.

David returned home from Copenhagen, and on Sunday, we went to the MWJDS Gala. Micah's class was presenting, and Sam's class was ushering, so I got to have all my boys dressed up.





My friend H and I wore sequins - I remember wearing this to my 30th birthday party! Very excited that it fits again, even if the overall shape is a little different than 16 years ago.



We had a nice time, and Sofia had fun at home with a babysitter ;)

Another week, more mouse trauma. Signs of droppings in hallway, in David's bureau drawers, and in Sofia's dresser drawers. David left for Atlanta. Sam's sensory integration issues with sound kicked back up, first time in years, so he started wearing earplugs in school, which he has not needed to wear since about 2nd grade.

Wednesday evening, all hell breaks loose as I actually SEE the mouse in Sofia's room! Call my neighbor, who thankfully comes right over (he's the go-to guy for nature incursion; he once removed a tick from Sofia's neck long ago). Head lamp, gloves, box, ready to work. The boys were fascinated, and followed him in to Sofia's room, while I had to keep her out. Poor Sofia had no clue about the mouse; she was just aware that there was a Man in her room and her brothers had locked her out.

Anyway, they were not able to catch the mousie, but he set some traps. David, during this episode, was in the Atlanta airport, wishing he wasn't on his way home! He had been traumatized as a small child - he'd reached in to scoop dogfood out of a 50lb bag, and a bunch of baby mice had crawled up his arm. So my husband is NOT the one to handle rodents!

It was NOT a peaceful week. No sleep, between Sofia in our bed (couldn't let her sleep with the mousie) and listening to every little noise.

Friday, finally, the trap was sprung. Sam said he wanted to "man up" and remove the trap, but on first try, he came screaming out saying "Yikes, you can see the tail!". But he did it. Very proud of him.

Veterans Admin came and took 20 bags away, and I brought the rest to Savers (Epilepsy Foundation). Whew.

Bat Mitzvah on the 19th in Worcester - I had to read Torah, which meant that, in addition to being exhausted from no sleep, I was completely stressed out. But I did ok. After services and lunch, we came home and David and I both slept 3 solid hours. We left Sofia and Micah home with a sitter and took Sam with us to the party. It was nice to see our Worcester friends, but kind'a disturbing to see the 13 year old girls dancing to songs with lyrics like "I'm So Sexy" and "Shots for Everyone". Sam had fun with his friends (past MWJDS students and a friend from Ramah).

Sunday we went back down to CT for Lilie's birthday party, which was busy but fun.


Ok, that brings us to Thanksgiving week. Getting a little more sleep, but still coping. Sam's OCD kicked in, along with his 12-year-old attitude. Tuesday morning, I had to take him to his reading group, but could not get him out of the car, because he was so upset and stressed about going. I had to get someone from his IEP team to come out and get him out of the car. And when he came back, he was fine, proud of how he'd done in class, calm and happy. I was a total wreck.

But we finished the week, met up with Sam's former teach and a lot of MWJDS friends for lunch on Wednesday, and did a few errands.

Getting better, finally. Thanksgiving day, we took a lot longer to get out of the house than we had expected - didn't leave until 2pm - but it was moderately restful. And we went to my sister's house, with my folks, mom's cousins, and dad's brother and his family.

Actually had a nice time. My uncle was really nice to us, and we had a nice time talking to them. It was a nice change.

Sofia borrowed Hannah's coat:


Sam hangs out with my cousin Paul:


Sofia gets comfy in front of the football game:


Slept over, but came back up before noon on Friday. Fairly peaceful weekend. We'd hoped David's folks could come up on Friday, but they were swamped with work. So it was just us (could not get anyone else last-minute!). Saturday, it was a lovely day, so we went to the Ecotarium in Worcester. which was fun. Sofia INSISTED on going on the train ride, so she and I sat there for 45 minutes waiting for the next ride, while David took the boys to the Planetarium show.

We stopped at Wegman's on the way home. Wow. I'll have to go back there on a week-day when it's not crowded and I'm not shepherding kids. Wow.

At night, I made Rack of Lamb. I'd bought it before Passover and it's been taking up freezer space. I'd hoped ot have company to share it, but it was just us. Which ended up ok, because it took three times longer to cook than I'd thought it would.

But OH MY was it DELICIOUS!!!!!!

Today, later morning and then we dropped David at the Logan Express bus - he's off to India for the week - and saw the Muppet Movie with friends. I think the other two moms and I should have gone without the kids, 'cause we had a blast!

Went over to N's house tonight for dinner after the movie. I helped her son set up his new iPod and laptop. It was good to see her - it's been a few weeks.

The boys don't have school tomorrow - Professional Development Day - but Sofia does, which means the boys and I can go run errands and maybe see another movie that she wouldn't liek. Then back to normal. I am trying to figure out how the heck to go visit my grandmother, but she insists I should NOT bring a sick child, which is a problem. I have had at least one sick child all semester (Sofia's got a horrible stuffy nose). So I have to figure out who can take care of my kids while I go down to Florida for a couple of days, and David is traveling non-stop for the next month or so.


Whew!

A nice shot of my kids, Nov. 6 when my parents came to visit:

And because it wasn't already stressful...

There are mice playing tag in my closet every night, and venturing into my room at 4am. UGH.

Pest guy came yesterday, but I put in another call today - the mousie actually knocked over a bag of stuff by my desk!

I apparently have a HORDING problem...I have mostly emptied out the walk-in closet, but there is just SO MUCH STUFF to go through.

Someone please come keep my company!!!

Feelin' the "Special" in Special Needs

So my parents did come up yesterday, but not until late afternoon. Which meant that we all went shopping together, rather than leaving my Dad and Sofia home, and then out to dinner.

My mother likes to shop. It is her favorite activity, and she is very, very good at it. Which means she is not fast. She is thorough. She searches for the correct size, she weighs the options, she considers.

And did I mention we had Sofia with us?

So that was NOT MUCH FUN. Sofia has about as much patience as...uh, ok, Sofia has NO patience.

We did put her in a shopping cart - gave her the option of holding my hand, Pop's hand, or the cart, she chose the cart - but she wanted Mama, not Pop, to wheel.

The store we were in has very narrow aisles, which means my daughter could engage in octopus behavior, and grab just about EVERYTHING. And then throw it into the cart.

Once she finally climbed out of the cart (being the little monkey that she is), she wanted to push the cart.

Hard.

And fast.

And far.

Meanwhile, my parents and Sam are agonizing over sweatshirts, and Micah is trying to help me keep Sofia from running people over.

And then she got HUNGRY.

At the top of her lungs.

So while they were paying, I took her over to the card store, which thankfully also has food (gift items), and I found a yummy bag of chocolate caramel corn.

A bit longer to shop... and then off to a restaurant.

On the Sunday night after the clocks have changed. Which means 6pm still felt like 7pm.

Which means at 7pm (when our internal clocks said 8pm, half an hour past her bed time), we were still in the restaurant.

Fortunately, we were in a large corner booth, with a solid wall behind, so Sofia could stand and stretch and point and move around mostly without escaping. Her brothers flanked her on either side.

Until she climbed over Micah to get to me and Pop (who were sitting in chairs at the end of the table).

And once done eating (thank HEAVENS Legal Seafood has gluten-free roles!), Sofia insisted on three visits to the potty. Which you just can't ignore, in case she really has to go.

I hit a wall. It was so stressful. And all the while, my folks are being themselves, having a leisurely dinner and discussing the various merits of the food and service - at great length.

We survived, but I was so conscious of how "different" Sofia really is. My parents would expect a 6 year old to sit still. Not an option here. My parents would expect Micah to be happy. Not an option here (he feels very much a second-class citizen, because my folks really spoil Sam, and Sam knows how to play along. Micah refuses to play along, and gets into arguments with my mother.)

Sigh.

And in the middle of the night, there was a mouse in my closet. Which means that this afternoon I will be emptying the closet - a walk-in, 17' long - so the pest guy can get in there tomorrow and remove the critter and plug the hole!

The End of Hell Week

It's really been a tough week.

Last weekend was the Storm. Aside from the weather, it was an ok weekend, mostly relaxing.

Monday night was Halloween. Not my favorite holiday, I hate all the candy, but the kids still enjoy it. David walks with Sofia, the boys go with the pack of neighborhood kids, I man the door at home. Sofia only made it to a few houses before she got too scared, so she and David came home.

And while he was home, we got The Call, that his grandmother, Toby, had died. So we dealt with that, told the boys about it when they came home. Micah, in his way, wanted to hear nothing else about it, and went to his room. Sam, in his way, stayed up stressing and fussing in our room far too late.

Tuesday, other than being sad about Grandma Toby, was actually an ok day. I taught Micah's class their first trope (Torah reading) lesson, and it went really well!

Wednesday was crazy. I took Sofia with me and drove Micah to school. David took Sam to the Ashland Middle School, for reading group. Sofia and I picked him up. David went to work for a few hours, so Sam and I fought about his Hebrew homework, and packed.

Left home around 11, got to New Britain a little early, and made our way to the cemetery. This is the place where all his relatives are buried, and unfortunately, we have been there a lot, but it's really a lovely place. And it was a beautiful day for a funeral - sunny and warmer.

CT is a wreck - trees down everywhere, and at that point, almost no one had power. And the cemetery was muddy. They had to bring the backhoe in to finish putting the dirt on the casket (in a Jewish funeral, usually the mourners and other attendees do all the shoveling of dirt, but it was just too wet).

We got a nice turn-out - a lot of the Long Island cousins, whom I really really like, came up for it, which was sweet of them. We went back to Grandma's house for shiva, so we got to visit people for a while. And just after most of them left to go to shul for the evening service, the power came back on!

We met them at shul (David had gone with his dad, and I had his mom), and then dropped Sam and Sofia at my sister's house, where my parents have been camped out all week (along with several other families!). Then we drove to NYC. (Micah, meanwhile, had a great time sleeping over with friends up here).

David and I were going to NYC to get his travel visa for India (he's going right after Thanksgiving). We didn't get to the hotel until after 10pm. In the morning, I stayed at the hotel for a leisurely breakfast while he went over to the Visa Center. He handed in his passport and all his paperwork and money, and then the guy said "ok, come back tomorrow at 5:30"! It was supposed to be same-day service, but they could not promise!

So we spent the whole day stressing about whether we would get his stuff back in time. And he needed his passport - right now (Saturday night) he's on a plane to Copenhagen.

We spent most of the day walking around the city. Meandering. Nothing really special, but it was nice. Found a good kosher Israeli place, for shwarma and schnitzel. Also had Tea and Scones at an Alice In Wonderland themed place. Very nice.

And luckily, the passport and visa DID make it through the system, so we were able to get them on Thursday evening. Got back in the car around 6:30. Headed back to my sister's house, stopped for a quick bit of dinner, and made it home by 11:15 (Micah was home with a sitter).

Done, right?

Nope.

Friday morning, Sam is sobbing and choking. His tonsils are completely swollen. I sent him back to sleep (that seemed to be what he needed more than anything else), and took Micah and Sofia off to school. Called pediatrician on the way home, and they said bring him in early.

So we saw one of the other peds, not our regular (but I trust all the docs in that office; don't necessarily like one of them but I do trust them). Dr. T. was quite alarmed, and thought it might be a peritonsular abscess. She booked us in to the Ear/Nose/Throat office - where we had all been patients back when the boys were little and had ear tubes and I got allergy shots.

Unfortunately, the pediatric ENT was not in, so we saw one of the other docs. And they couldn't take us until 2pm, so I spent a lot of frantic time trying to find someone to pick up Sofia from school. It was stressful. And I picked up Micah early (school ends at 2 on Fridays).

Anyway, the ENT did not think it was an abscess. Apparently, there are a lot of weird throat things that can happen with mono, so even though the quick-test for strep was negative, it's not totally ruled out. So the ENT said to have the pediatrician write scripts for a steroid and an antibiotic.

We went back to our pediatrician (we were supposed to be there for Micah's 10 year check up), and she wanted to know why the ENT couldn't write his own scrips! I think he was not used to dosing for pediatric patients. And she also agreed with her colleague that it looked more like an abscess, so we were stressed out for the past 24 hours, watching for symptoms or signs of improvement.

Fortunately, it does seem to be responding to the steroids. Whew! 'Cause the next step was the ER.

We went to our friends' house for Shabbat dinner, which was nice (especially nice since I did not have any food ready!), and slept late today. Except that there was a knock on the door at 8pm, UPS delivering a package for David for work. Which was also a stress-inducer, although we eventually realized it wasn't as bad as we thought (requests for information only).

David went to work, while I tried to get Sam to calm down. Eventually he did. The poor kid is frightened. And a drama king. But I had a serious talk with him about whether he really needed to go to the ER or not. We managed to avoid it.

He came with me to drive David to the Logan Express bus, and then go grocery shopping. I made a nice dinner for the kids - marinated salmon, pasta, broccoli - and we also got fixings for ice cream sundaes. YUM.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better... although my parents are coming to visit...hmmmm...