Ain't Nothin' like a hug at the supermarket

The Stop & Shops near us all have a lot of people with Down syndrome and some other disabilities working there. At the store we usually go to, there is a fellow named O. Sometimes when I say hi to O, he says "I don't know you, ma'am." (you can just hear his mom coaching him on strangers!). However, Thursday, when Sofia and were there, O came over and gave me a BIG HUG. It was wonderful. He started telling me about a friend who had died, and how his job is pretty easy but fun.

Thursday night was the Celebrate Israel event in our area, so I took the kids (R and I stayed with them on the playground a long time, then we did a BJ's run). There was Israeli and line-dancing, and Micah and Sofia were dancing like crazy. Sofia really loves to dance. We were playing with my neighbor's daughter, who is about to turn 2, and Sofia kept going to my neighbor while S kept asking for me.

Friday, I ran another dinner at shul, and this time I had over 90 people! It was really great. I've finally got it to be easy; the caterer cooks everything, so I all I have to do it put the pans back in the oven during services and then set up and serve. We hold the service in the Social Hall also rather than the Sanctuary, and Micah (along with Murray the Moose, who is visiting us from Kindergarten this week) sat right between the Rabbi and the Cantor for the entire service. Sofia sat on the floor with our neighbor S (yes, we got to spend 2 evenings with them), and followed every move the Rabbi made. When he stood up to make an announcement, she stood up and tried to get everyone else to stand also.

This morning we went back to shul. Sofia was good in babysitting, and the boys both went to the big-kid service in the chapel. I helped in babysitting a bit, because the sitter was alone (supposed to be 2, but the other didn't show), and some of the bat mitzvah guest kids were very badly behaved.

It was a day for bad behavior. This afternoon, while David took Sam climbing at REI, Micah had his long-anticipated playdate with N. N is 3 years older than Micah, but otherwise they get along great. Unfortunately, N is NOT a very well-behaved boy. I had already explained to the mom that we no longer use computer or TV or Nintendo on Shabbat, but the boys have both been wanting to show each other things on their NIntento DS. So I said I would allow them to use it for just a few minutes, to show, but that during a playdate and on Shabbat, we would not have a long session on the DS.

Well, when N arrived, his dad was carrying the Nintendo, and the boys wanted to immediately look. I said they could have 5 minutes. N started whining that this was too mean, but they went upstairs. After a few minutes, I yelled up a 2 minute warning, and I heard N tell Micah something about "She's mean, that's not enough time!"

They argued with me at the 5 minute point (which was really more like 10) but eventually they both shut down the systems (actually, N would not shut down, only close it, and had to yell at me that he would lose data if he shut down).

So then they played a bit, but whined a lot that this was boring. I sent them outside (I was exhausted, and Sofia was starting to drag, too). They played skateboards for a little while, but then the real whining came when they wanted to go back on the Nintendo again. I said no, but there was a lot of "that's not fair" and "why do you have to observe Shabbat anyway?" (this from a kid in day school!) and rejection of all my other suggestions as "boring". When I offered to take them for a bike ride, the kid said he could ONLY ride his own bike and not borrow Sam's.

At that point, I'd had it, so I told them to get in the car. Now, to be fair, my Micah had actually decided that a bike ride would be fun. Although he'd been whining about "please can we use the Nintendo", he was not disrespectful. The other kid was. So I put Micah's bike in the car and we took N home. He yelled at me a bit, and when I explained that his behavior was unacceptable, he quieted down. I did offer to stop at a playground on the way, but N was having none of that.

When we got to their house, he got out and ran into the house. The father apologized rather weakly. Back in the car, I talked to Micah about his friend's behavior. He understood that N was behaving very disrespectully, and that he himself was NEVER allowed to behave like that, to me or to any other grown-up.

Since Sofia by this time was sound asleep, I ended up having a nice time with Micah. We drove a bit, and stopped at a farm for some ice cream. As he sat on my lap eating his ice cream, Micah said "It's important to make your friends happy, but it's more important to make your Mom happy."

Arte y Pico award

Amy from The Flege Farm thought I was worthy of an award!!!!!


The rules for this award are:
1. You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his/her blog to be visited by everyone.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her/him the award itself.
4. The award winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. To show these rules.

Thank you, Amy! I have a lot of reading to do to cath up on all the blogs, and the two I would most want to nominate (Tammy and Pam), I don't want to add any extra work for them (i.e. having to post the award info!). And Amy would have been another of my winners anyway, so I'll get back to you on my own award winner picks.

(And apparently I cannot figure out how to post the award picture, but you can see it here.)

It's all about the Couch

My mother just got a new couch in her Family Room. And her old couch is sitting in her garage, waiting for a ride to our house, where it will come replace the futon in our living room.

But it's not waiting patiently. Oh, no, this was my mother's couch, after all, and patience is next to impossible. This couch needs to call in every three days or so, asking when it will come live with us. This couch needs to be out of my parents garage - presumably because Connecticut gets way more snow in May than Massachusetts does.

In the mean time, my husband is once again NOT home tonight - his meeting that was supposed to start at 5:00 for only about 45 minutes is still going on at 9:51. And he leaves for Albany tomorrow...through late Friday...and then is planning to spend Saturday in Worcester cleaning out the rental units (rather than taking Sam rock climbing, per suggestion of Sam's therapist).

Between the *(^ couch, my mother hanging up on me because I can't tell her exactly when I could find a babysitter long enough to drive down and back (4 hours round trip) in a vehicle large enough to carry a couch, and my husband...oh, and Sofia, who took an hour and a half to go to sleep...I'm a little annoyed, and any good mood I had from yesterday is starting to dissipate.

But thanks for "listening"! Knowing you all are out there really does help.

Happy Mothers Day (belated, of course)

We mailed out all our cards on Saturday afternoon, so what do you expect? I had a pleasant day. Micah was in our room at about 4am, and Sofia soon after. Poor Micah was having serious pollen allergy problems all day. Anyway, the boys had each made gifts for me at school. Sam wrote a page of "I Am":

I am the person who likes to play rock music on an acoustic guitar at Tae Kwan Do school on Tuesdays, who likes to play soccer on a cold windy day in spring, who likes to watch the Time Warp Trio on Sunday morning, who likes to read big war books in the dark black night with the light shining bright, who likes to play made up games with my small sister and nice brother.

I am the person who likes to see professional drawings in the Museum of Fine Arts, who likes to smell my mom's chicken with really sweet spices on Shabbat night, who likes to taste crusty cheese pizza with my family, who likes to listen to my mom's singing in my small bedroom at night before I go to bed, who likes to feel my little cousin Lilly's soft smooth hands touching me.

I am the person who gets scared in big crowds, who gets excited when I get a new book, who dreams for a DS system, who likes when my grandparents come to visit from Connecticut, who likes my two shofars, who likes creative arts, and who loves when my cousins come to visit me.

Gorgeous. They framed it, and put stickers of books, pizza, and soccer. A real treasure. (By the way, the "DS system" he refers to is a Nintendo DS.)

Micah made a "flower" with his picture, as well as a plaque. Sofia also made a card and planted a flower in a little flowerpot.

I got to sleep a little late, and they eventually made me breakfast in bed (after David went down to yell at them for watching TV instead of making breakfast!). We went to friends' home for their 3 year old's birthday party, and the big brother is one of Micah's close friends (plus mom and dad are good friends of ours). In the afternoon we cleaned out the garage a bit, and then went to dinner at a Hibatchi place that also has great sushi. Micah was really having allergy problems, so I had to run over ot the drugstore after we ordered so I could get him some Benadryl!

Greetins from the Mass EI Consortium

Yes, I get to stay overnight at a hotel WITHOUT my children :) [or hubby :( ]

It was a nice day. Last year, being the first year I attended, was probably a little more exciting for me, but I still learned new things, and this year I have friends to see, so it's fun.

At 8:00 we finished dinner, and my roommate (another mom) and I came straight up to the room. It's 10:00 now - she's asleep, and I'm about to be (really, I promise!).

I still have this sinus infection, and can "smell" it in my nose (yuch), but at least my ear doesn't hurt as much now. I'm SOOO glad for a break from the kids, 'though!

Yesterday, Sam freaked out about going to the Day School Music Festival (tonight), and was actually saying to himself in the car "Ok, I know it's hard to say no, but I really am just too stressed, and mommy's gonna be away and I want to be with my dad, and I really just can't do it." How can you say no to that? Poor kid. He was so glad when I told him it was ok not to do the concert. Sigh.

Micah's legs are a wreck, from all the scratching he does between allergies and those hives back in the winter. I've tried Aquafor, Lubriderm, Bactroban. Nothing seems to help. I think a little sunshine might help, but the kid insists on sweat pants and long sleeve shirts most of the year.

Miss Sofia has switched her biological functions clock so that she's pooping during preschool, which has her teacher less-than-thrilled. I hope that's not a long-term schedule change!

Nothing much else. Hugs to all my online friends, and to my real-life friends, too!

Ear Infections and Ticks

By the end of 10 days with my children (and without my husband), I seem to twitch a wee bit. Just a little. Oh, and I scream a lot. Loudly.

We made it through the week. Friday after school, we played on the playground for a long time, then went to Tae Kwan Do, to watch Micah get his Yellow Belt. He did great. The testing sheet has phrases like "textbook kicks", "perfect break" and "100%".

Then we went to my friend S's house for Shabbos dinner. Very nice time, except that the boys were really getting on my nerves a bit. Micah almost had a sleepover with EJ, but chickened out at the last minute. Sofia did NOT fall asleep on the car ride home (40 minutes), even though the boys did, so she stayed up to watch Battlestar Galactica with me.

Saturday morning, E came to watch Sofia and Micah, while Sam and I went to a Bar Mitzvah from the Ashland shul. It was a really wonderful event. This kid is son to a single (lesbian) mom, and he has a lot of learning issues, but he's a very sweet child and they are a loving and friendly family. She (the mom) met a wonderful lady last year, and now their family is even more lovely.

I read Torah, and it was nice to work with A again (she's been the Student Rabbi for the past 2 years, but she's graduating and leaving soon). And it was so touching to see the love in this family, and see how hard the kid worked. It was really tough for him, he has trouble speaking, but his tutor (who we know from Sam's summer-school!) walked him through his presentation of a Mitzvah chart. I was so glad to be there.

When we got home, Sofia was asleep, and I dozed off and on all afternoon. Sofia slept about 3 hours, which I knew meant she'd be up late with me, but I really needed the nap.

Sunday morning, I dragged the kids to the Unitarian Universalist church to witness the Committment Ceremony for my friend M's daughters. I say "dragged" because Sam adamantly did NOT want to go to a church - he was very rigid about it - but I explained that it was important to M that I be there, just as it would be important for me to have her at his Bar Mitzvah. So eventually we went, and we just stood in the back doorway. The ceremony was lovely, and we heard a bit of the sermon, which was also nice, before Sofia got to be too much for me. As we were leaving, Sam said, "That was a really nice service, Mom. I liked it." Duh!

We grabbed a bit to eat, went home to watch Robin Hood (BBC America's version), and then back to M's house for the big party. All three kids had a blast, and I got to sit and talk with M and her other friends - all very wonderful, warm women. I met M when my Sofia was about 3 months old. She had a baby, also named Sophia, with DS, born 3 months after mine, and our EI office hooked us up. We clicked immediately, kindred spirits indeed. Sadly, her Sophia died suddenly at 13 months. But, indomitable spirit that she is, M and her hubby went off to build houses in New Orleans and came back preggers. Baby Isabella was born Dec. 31 - two months after they also added Miss Olivia, a little girl in need of a home, to their family. So this was a ceremony for both the baby and the toddler (O just turned 2). And big sister M was thrilled.

So I sat with M and her friends and we talked about all the ways that life is both hard and amazing - DS, sudden and unexpected tragedy, seeing the value in individual lives, learning how to appreciate things more. Really cool stuff. One woman had just taken a group of 14-year-olds to New Orleans, and was telling us their reactions, as they processed the difference between their lives and the lives in NO.

Anyway, eventually, we came home, and David finally came home too. I felt awful - somehow in the midst of all this, I'd developed a Sinus and Ear Infection! So I skipped my graduate program event (bummed, since my friend S was presenting her thesis) and went to sleep at 6:30.

Today I managed to get in to see the Nurse and got some meds. This afternoon, the kids played a long time, and then I took them to Dairy Queen. When we got home, I discovered a Tick on the back of Sofia's neck! Yikes. Fortunately, my neighbor has a dog - and therefore also has a special tick removal tool. Whew. Ick.

Tired. Need to sleep. Sofia starts going to school 4 days tomorrow - yeah!

Shopping with Children

That should just be outlawed. I took all three of my children to not one but TWO grocery stores this afternoon - after 7 hours of school and more than an hour on the playground. Yikes! Sam was actually not bad, but Micah was bouncing around and hanging on the cart and grabbing his "favorite" foods (today it was Toffuti Cuties). Sofia was HUNGRY, and therefore screaming at me. We eventually bought a bag of popcorn, and when the guy tried to pack the "pop-pop" in a bag, she screamed at him (POP-POP!!!!!!). At the other store, she did NOT want to be in the cart, but she also did not want to hold any of our hands, and kept trying to escape. Lots of yelling.

Remind me NEVER to try that again, ok??!

I also had to take them all to get some copies made. While waiting, Sofia and Micah kept hanging on either the counter or on me (they started fighting over me, actually!). Another lady was watching, bemused. I was expecting one of the boys to have a large envelope of papers for me, so I asked:

"Hey, did either of you get an envelope for me at school?"

"Envelope?"

"Yes, a big envelope full of paper."

"No."

"Neither of you?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, mommy, no envelope."

And then Micah paused...and said,

"Oh, I got an envelope."

"Soooo, YES envelope?"

"Yes."

The lady behind m just cracked up.

I'm still trying to put my kitchen back together post-passover. Most of the Pesach stuff is packed, or at least stacked neatly in the family room. There are still abotu 5 or 6 boxes or bags of every-day stuff to be unpacked. So I warned my cleaning lady that tomorrow when she comes, she should just "clean around it".

I did a lot of work on the Yearbook today. H came over in the morning, and then she and S came back in the evening (while Sam fell asleep on his own, Sofia wandered the house and Micah yelled "I'm bored" every 10 minutes.). The yearbook is coming along really really well!

I also presented my paper last night. I had all of 10 minutes, and there were only 3 other students plus the teacher. The students seemed interested. And subsequently I thought about asking my other 3 friends who also "did" Upsherin with their kids for their input. I think I might have another way to write about it. D, thanks for your input already!

I feel much better than I did earlier in the week. Tuesday night, instead of staying on the computer all evening, Sofia and I watched episodes of "Robin Hood" on BBC America, and I got some decent sleep. Last night, she also showed up in my room in time to sleep.

This morning, all three kids were up incredibly early (way before 6am!), so I hope going to sleep late tonight helps tomorrow morning!