Reflections on my Children

We had a great day yesterday. We drove out to Springfield and went to the very nice set of museums - Science, History, Art and the Dr. Seuss sculpture garden. We never made it into Fine Arts. After, we got to visit my cousin J and her hubby and their new baby (also named Lily, 4 days older than Laura's Lilie!).

It was wonderful visiting them, because it was thrilling for me to see my "little" cousin (J is about 5 years younger than me) all grown up and a mommy. My aunt passed away about 7 years ago, and I think that really was hard for her daughter. I'm so glad to see J so blissfully happy now!

We had a conversation about the kids, and it got me thinking. Today, Dec. 31, would be a good time to take a "snapshot" of my three kiddos:

Sam: what a wild man. I swear he'd lose his head if it weren't attached. Remember PigPen from the Peanuts? Well, it's not that Sam has a dirt cloud following him - it's more like a paper trail. He has scraps of paper everywhere. His hair, which is still growing, gets "unbrushed" almost instantly. His backpack is usually stuffed to the brim and open wide (so that things can fall out at an alarming rate). He loses everything. His seat in the minivan is surrounded by junk - toys, papers, wrappers, crumbs. He flits from one distraction to another. At this moment, he is dressed in too-small sweatpants, a kimono from Japan that fit him well when he was 4 (he's 8 now), and a yellow costume belt, and he and his brother are swordfighting (again). He draws pictures of weapons and wars all the time - beautifully, and almost exclusively in pencil. He gets freaked out in crowds, and yesterday, when the guards announced that the museum would be closing in 10 minutes, he started to panic, and would not do anything except hurry us out. His coping skills are coming along, but are still rather minimal. He loves to learn, and is so excited to be able to "read" Torah (in reality, he's just memorizing from the mp3 his teacher made). He had a great time at the Webkinz party he went to the other day with 3 of his girlfriends, and just as much fun playing video games with one of the boys from school.

Micah is my serious little guy As neat as his brother is messy, he is the Felix Unger to Sam's Oscar Madison. When Sam spent the week at my parents' house last summer, Micah and I cleaned their bedroom. Micah was brutal, throwing things away that even I would have saved! Micah has taught himself how to play chess, via the computer, and now he's so good that I can't even LET him win. He is also starting to "learn" piano, just a few songs. I really need to find him a teacher already. He is so sweet in school, and reportedly he is a friend to everyone. On the playground, there is usually a crowd around Micah, either boys or girls. Age doesn't matter; one of his best friends from school is in 4th grade. He's only in Kindergarten, but already he's starting to read. He is very serious about his allergies, without being freaked out by them. He doesn't get upset when others eat something he can't; he is cautious and asks before taking something new. He even checks with me about soap (after an experience with nut-based soap). He switches into pretend mode very easily, turning into "Smokey the Dog" or The Captain (he's swordfighting now too). He has learned to control his strong little temper much better than when he was in preschool. He often seems older than 6, although I love it when I see the little boy in him.

Sofia is a raging toddler. Right now she is in eating mode and exploring mode. Yesterday, she wanted to run all over the museums, touching everything and saying "hi" to everyone (including some statues). She and I spent some time in the courtyard, where she kept running back and forth shouting "whee!". At my cousin's house, faced with bowls of grapes, crackers, and popcorn, she had a look of glee and never an empty hand.At the restaurant, she handed me some money, which she had taken out of my wallet! She wants to do everything her older brothers do. In CT, she also copies my nieces, down to the hand motions and expressions. I do not worry about anyone ever ignoring Sofia; she pushes her way into every crowd.

I am so proud of all three of my children, and I marvel at how different they are. I am thankful for the opportunity to parent them, and to learn from them. Last year, when I did the weaning ceremony for Sofia, I found this lovely poem (also a song, by Sweet Honey In The Rock):

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

A Happy and Sweet New Year to you all!

Christmas Week

Ah, we're back home again, and David is also home from Israel. Back to "normal" (HA!)

The rest of the time down in CT was nice. On Monday, we just hung out at my sister's house so the kids could all play together. Laura brought the baby over, too. At the end of the day, my parents took the boys home, and Laura and I (along with sleeping Lilie and sleeping Sofia) stopped for a quick "hi" at Grandma Ruth's house.

Tuesday, we went to my uncle's house in Stamford for Christmas. See, my dad's father was not Jewish (although he grew up in the Garment District in NYC and spoke better Yiddish than anyone I know!), and my uncle's wife (and therefore my cousins) are all Catholic. When I was a kid, we always spent Christmas with my grandparents (before my aunt came along, generally everyone there was Jewish except Grandpa!). Once my grandparents moved to Florida (25 years ago), my uncle took over.

However, when Sam was a baby, I took him to my uncle's, and my mother put all of Sammy's Hanukah presents under the Christmas tree! It freaked me out. She did it because she hadn't seen us since Thanksgiving, and granted Sam was only 6 months old, BUT I really wanted him to be able to understand the difference.

So this was the first year we've been back for Christmas. It was really nice. My grandmother is up from Florida, and my twin cousins are both in from college, their older brother was there, their parents (of course - it's their house!), my folks, my brother-in-law and the twins, and me and my kids. My sister was on-call (sucks to be the only Jew in her Cardiology practice!), and of course David was working in Israel.

The kids had a blast. Sofia had fallen asleep in the car on the way in, and was very shy and clingy when we got there, but she perked up soon enough. They have a little dog, which at first Sofia was terrified of, but by the end of the evening, she was trying to drag the dog around by its leash. My cousin P took the kids outside to play soccer (he teaches at a school for kids with Autism, in NYC, and he's really terrific with kids!).

At one point, my grandmother made a very tactless and uncalled-for comment about my weight. I took a little walk and called David, and then, I'm proud to say, I pulled Grandma aside to tell her she'd hurt my feelings. We had a nice chat, and she did apologize (actually, she started crying, which my BIL saw, but since he had not heard her comment, he thought something else was wrong, so I got a phone call from my mom last night...)

Anyway, it was a really nice day. I'm so glad we got to go and help them celebrate "their" holiday. It's a really pretty time. And my uncle is a FANTASTIC cook (learned from my grandfather). YUM. It's worth the migraine I get when I eat the fried eggplant he makes.

Some photos:
Sofia with my cousin Kara:


Sofia with my dad:


Paul and Kara with the 4 kids:


Sam with my grandma:


My dad (with the camera) and his brother (with the scarf):


Miss Sofia investigates the jingle bells:


Paul and Micah (ok, I DO have to explain - Paul gave the kids those plastic blow-up bubbles, and he was teaching Micah how to do it...but from that angle, it just looked...uh...suspicious...):


Me and my grandma:


Wednesday, Mom and I took my kids and met my nieces and their nanny at the children's museum in Bristol, then out for pizza. Then I took a brief nap, and carted my gang back up to MA. Sofia slept the whole ride up, and Micah fell asleep halfway. Well, Micah stayed asleep the rest of the evening, but Sofia woke up, and stayed watching TV with me and Sam ('tween Disney shows, yippie). Sam went to sleep aroud 8:30, but Miss Sofia was still up at 11:00 - at which time she puked all over my bedspread and then went to sleep. It stinks; I have to take it to the drycleaners now.

Today, Sam had a playdate, but the kid lives 45 minutes away. So after we dropped him off, I took Micah and Sofia to the local arcade, then for lunch, then we had to pick up David, then back to pick up Sam, then back home (LOTS of driving!). David had to go to work and do the payroll, so he didn't get home until nearly 8 pm. Then I went out again (grocery shopping). He's asleep now.

Visiting the Babies

I took the kids down to David's cousin's house today, to see the babies (cousin's baby is 6 weeks, and Laura was there with 4 week old Lilie). We had a fun time.

Sam holding Lilie:


Snackin' Sofia:




At one point, we had the two babies on the playmat, and Miss Sofia decided to get right in there with them!






(Nice nose, huh? Fortunately, she's doing much better with the cold. The Zithromax really helped quickly.)

Micah had a half-awake tantrum in the car on the way home, but fortunately they are all asleep now.

*****

Oh yeah, and this morning, Miss Sofia took a SHARPIE and made a mural...all over the floor, the credenza, the picture frames on the credenza, and on her hands... My dad had some cool goo that removed everything, but oh boy!

'Roid Rage in CT

Well, we finally made it down to my parents' home in CT. MIss Sofia has been getting the nebulizer at least once a day, and she's basically a raving maniac now. Yesterday it was a solid 4 hours of "na-na-na-na-na". Right now, she's unpacking her brothers' suitcase and trying on all their clothing. Yesterday morning, in the bookstore, she found a wheelie backpack and went careening around the children's section for about 20 minutes solid. My girlfriend and I just planted ourselves and our coffees at the entrance to the section, and let her go.

Ok, I just entered the contest at 5 Minutes for Mom, for a year's worth of Orville Redenbocker popcorn and Netflix. Cool.

Let's see. I don't want to get into the craziness of my husband's family, but perhaps we might see my sister-in-law and/or her parents tomorrow when we visit his cousin.

David is in Israel, and just spent Shabbat with our friends from T21Online. Can't wait to talk to him tomorrow.

Tonight, I treated my folks to a dinner out, in honor of their 45th wedding anniversary!

The biggest news of the week: I handed in my Hebrew Final yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, perhaps I should help Sofia start re-packing...she's going after the dirty laundry, also...

**************

Well, now she's destroying the whole room. DId I mention I had to take her into the pediatrician this morning, too. She's wheezing when she wakes up, which sucks, but now she's on Zithromax.

Snowstormy day

What a weird day. We had a big storm last night and most of this morning. Everything we'd planned to do today was either cancelled or we just could not get out of the driveway (the birthday party at the mall that Micah was supposed to go to was apparently still on at 11 am, but David had only just started to plow!). So the little ones and I were inside all day; poor David took more than 3 hours to do the driveway, in the wind and rain, while Sam spent almost the entire day either outside or next door playing with his friend.

I just submitted my last Hebrew Homework!!!! I can't believe it. By 6pm tonight, I'd barely begun Lesson 8, but I just spent all evening working on it. All that's left now is the final (and anything the teacher says I need to re-do, but so far so good). Whew! But how in the world am I going to find a specific 24 hour period between now and Dec. 27 to do the final? David is going to NJ tomorrow for the day (by train), and then flying to Israel on Tuesday until the 27th. Sofia came down with a head cold today (it might be a tooth, but I'm not sure), and one of the boys is hacking away in their room, but I'm not sure if it's Sam or Micah. I'm supposed to take them all to CT on Saturday afternoon, and we have a full day planned for both Sunday and Tuesday down there. Whew. Well, maybe I can go hide out in the library down there on Monday or Wednesday.

Super-sad news from the T21 board: one of the moms passed away last night. I did not realize it (because I don't read all the threads), but she'd been sick with cancer for a while. Scary. And the fact that I have an unexplained dot on my palm for the past week does not make me feel any better. I am going to try to see the dermatologist tomorrow. It's starting to freak me out. At first I thought it was a blood blister, but it has not changed in a week.


I took Sofia to the Metrowest Down Syndrome "holiday" party yesterday for a few minutes. I just wanted to stop in and see if there were any other kids close to her age (there weren't, at least not at the party, except one 2 year old boy). I did get to meet a few people I've only "met" via email so far, and I saw the 2 moms I had met last year. Sofia was tired and it was hot and loud, so she started clutching my shoulder. We didn't stay long. She was also freaked out by the Santa (and I was a bit weirded out by it, too).

The day school gala was cancelled tonight. Sigh. That would have been fun, although David was a wreck after doing the driveway all day. It's still really windy and cold out; I'm not sure we'll have school tomorrow. Yick.

Rambling. Time to go to bed.

Kvelling!

There is really no great English equivalent for the Yiddish word "kvelling". Merriam-Webster's online dictionary lists this:

Main Entry: kvell

Pronunciation: \ˈkvel\

Function: intransitive verb

Etymology: Yiddish kveln to be delighted, from Middle High German quellen to well, gush, swell

Date: circa 1952

So that's what I'm doing, swelling with pride. My Samuel, the kid who "CAN'T READ", just read from the Torah for the first time this morning! And Sammy got to hold the yad (pointer) for his group, which was a special thrill for him.




That sighing and giggling at the end is me and my friend R, whose daughter is the tall girl next to Sam. I think we were both holding our breaths the whole time they were reading!

Ok, Sofia just found the Nintendo, and is "playing" on it just as seriously as her brothers! Little copycat!

School is closing at 1:30, and I have to go food shopping and distribute the challah, so time to run.

*******

So I made it to school by a little after 12noon, and distributed the challah while Sofia enjoyed visiting the kids in the lunchroom. When we got out, it had just started snowing. We raced over to Linens & Things to get curtains and a pole for the boys' bedroom closet (I'm tired of having the door fall on them!). When we got back outside, it was really coming down hard, and it took twice as long to get back to the school.

We got the boys, and then it took nearly an hour to get home! Fortunately we made it with no problems other than boredom, and the boys and I finally cleared out the garage so I could pull the minivan in (because I can't reach the top of the van to clear snow!).

David is on his way home, but it'll take a long time. Sofia is still napping (fell asleep after the store), boys are watching a movie. I REALLY should do homework!!!!

Stay warm!

Shlock Rock Concert!

Gosh, that was fun! I rushed the kids out of the house this morning, gassed up the minivan, and we made it to school before the teacher was out to collect the kids! Then Sofia and I went for our regular Starbucks breakfast with D and her daughter A. Miss Sofia sits so nicely now, coloring or playing with a doll, while I jump into line to get coffee and food. She also cleans up the table and throws everything in the garbage!

I dropped her off (begged her teachers to come into the room a minute early) and raced back to school to catch the bus. I got to assist with the kindergarten, so Micah was my bus-buddy. The kids in this school are so darn CUTE! The bus ride was very very loud, and one kid almost got sick, but we made it in time for the concert.

What a riot. The concert was in the gymnasium at Maimo, which is celebrating its 70th year. Now, Maimo is an Orthodox school, and most of the other guest schools were also Orthodox. So it was interesting to see how our kids would fit in.

Mind you, Sam not only wore his "tallit katan" (the little undershirt with the tzitzit/fringes), but he insisted that I change from jeans to a skirt! So I had to wear my long Jerusalem skirt (very very comfy, but the shoes weren't as comfy). I looked quite frum (very religious). Sam and only one other of our kids has a tallit katan. All our kids had on their choir T-shirts, which makes them look like a colorful array of M&Ms, but they stood out from the plain blues and whites of most of the other schools.

The band was great, but it was tough to hear the words, and they are the kind of band that you NEED to hear the words in order to get the "joke". They take popular music ("We Didn't Start The Fire", "Oh When The Saints", etc.) and put lyrics for nice Jewish boys and girls to it. It's tough to describe; go check out the band's website.

So I'm glad to say that eventually our kids did get up and dance. Again, this was not what they were used to; since it's an Orthodox environment, the genders shouldn't mix for dancing, so there were conga lines of boys and conga lines of girls. I had to make sure our kids picked the correct line! But we had lots of fun, and my little friend A and I were doing The Swim and a bunch of other goofy dances. A lot of the MWJDS kids conked out halfway through, and they all ended up sitting on the bleachers for a while, but a few of our kids were totally into it.

We left the concert promptly at 11:30, and I was able to meet David and Sofia back at Whole Foods just as they were finishing lunch.

Sam is reading Torah tomorrow for the first time. He's been practicing, and this afternoon when we got home, he was able to do it perfectly! I'm so impressed at his ability to learn the trope (music) by listening to the mp3 over and over. I'm very very proud of him!

So I'll post that video tomorrow, I hope, but for tonight, here is Miss Sofia, swinging on the swing in the doorway this weekend (T21Online friends, this is the same video I posted over there):

A Good Day

Well, today has been good all day, and just got better. Busy, of course, but fun.

1. Drop the boys at school.
2. Race to the mall to meet out Speech Pathologist at the playspace at 8:30am. Had fun watching Sofia interact with another little girl (who is coincidentally also in the EI program).
3. Speech left right after Occupational Therapy arrived.
4. Sofia got ored with the playspace halfway through OT, so we all walked around the new wing of the mall, exploring lose flooring (Sofia did a great dance on a piece of sheet metal).
5. My girlfriend C arrived just as the OT was leaving.
6. We sat in the American Express Lounge at the mall for a while, having a snack.
7. We roamed the mall for a few hours, having a great time (I don't get to see C that often, and I love her dearly).
8. Just as we were about to go to lunch, we ran into my other dear friend, R, so she joined us too! (And she's the one who is so great with Sofia, so Sofia was also very glad to see her).
9. Sofia fell asleep just as C and I got back to the other side of the mall, where the cars were parked, but she did not stay asleep when I transfered her to the car. (boo hoo!)
10. Drove around trying to get her to sleep.
11. Gave up, and parked in front of the school waiting for the boys.
12. Got the boys, raced to the pediatrician's office so Sam could get his flu shot and his chickenpox booster.
13. Went to Tae Kwan Do (where today I got to meet a few of the dads instead of their wives).
14. At TKD, had the pleasure of hearing my eldest son recite his Torah reading (for Thursday) almost perfectly!
15. Sofia fell asleep in the car on the way home, but woke up when I tried to transfer her to the crib. Ugh.
16. Ordered pizza on the way home, but it took over an hour, so the kids were all melting down when it arrived. But they perked up after they ate.
17. Lit the Chanukah menorahs for the last time. Tonight we lit 5 chanukiyot (menorahs), for a total of 45 candles (8 plus one "shammash" in each).
19. Eventually got the kids to bed and started working on my homework.
20 Just got a call from the boys' head-of-school, inviting me to chaperone tomorrow's Shlock Rock concert at Maimo! Yippie! And David is going to be working in his office, which means he can pick up Sofia from her playgroup.

So now I'm in a really good mood. Yeah.

Quick shout out to my online friend AF, who can't read this anyway because she lives in the Midwest and has no power. Stay warm!

Back to Hebrew Homework.

Baby Naming

We were proud to sponsor the kiddush (snacks) after Shabbat services this weekend in honor of the baby naming of our new niece, Lilien Eve W. Lilie's Hebrew name is Lila Chava Talia - Lila in memory of David and Laura's brother Larry, Chava/Eve in memory of their aunt Barbara Ellen AND in honor of grandma Esther Ruth, and Talia in honor of grandma Toby.

The baby is adorable and tiny. She's such a little mush! Laura seems to be handling things ok. The naming was lovely. David and I had the Levi aliyah, and then Larua had the next aliyah, so we were all on the bima with her. The boys came up. At one point, my friend E sent Sofia up, but she was too disruptive, so my other friend D took her back down. My parents came, as did several good friends (S, N, D, L) and some surprise friends (J&L).


We had bought decorations for the kiddush, and there were latkes and bagels. It was very relaxed and "haimish" (homey). Everyone hung out at shul for a while. Then my parents and Laura came back to the house, and D brought the girls over later. After D left, my neighbors came over with their 1 year old and we had more latkes and did Havdalah and lit the chanukiyot again.

But in the middle, Laura and David had a quick run to the ER, because Lilie had a very stuffy nose and Laura's pediatrician said to take her in. The ER doc listened quickly and then sent them home - it was all just upper, nothing in her chest. Whew!

It was a very nice day, marred only by the fact that the baby's own grandparents were not there and her mother is a very young girl. I hope they are ok.

Friday I took Laura shopping for nursing tops, and I felt like I was in full grandma mode myself. I made brisket for Friday dinner (David was out), and I helped Laura give her daughter a blessing when we lit the Shabbat candles.

Sunday was fun - Sam had a K'vutza event (3rd-4th grade youth group) at Plaster Fun Time. D brought her girls, and she and I talked while I painted my own project; then she helped me with Hebrew homework. Then the 3rd graders had a birthday party in Holliston, so we dropped them off, had a bite to eat, and walked around with J.

In the evening, David and I went to my grad school program Hanukah party. It was nice. The lady who hosted has a lovely, very "grown up" (i.e. breakable) apartment, but there was also a fire in the fireplace and tons of scented candles and a small dog, so my allergies got really bad. I wheezed most of the way home. I'm better now

As for my mood, I'm better than last week. I got some sleep on Thursday and Friday nights (although then I woke up at 5:30 on Saturday and 6:00 on Sunday).

Today we had an ice storm. The drive to school was fine, but our driveway, which is very very steep, is a solid sheet of ice. The minivan slide all the way down. Right now I had to park at the bottom.

Descending into the Abyss again

Ok, what's going on? I am exhausted, but I can't sleep. I'm 2 full lessons behind in my Hebrew homework again, and the end of the semester (and therefore the final exam) is fast approaching. Miss Sofia just said "BABY" very very clearly, and has been adding lots of other verbal words and sounds, but she's also still refusing to nap at home and we spend hideous amounts of time wasting gas with the car running.

I spend lots of time worrying about Laura and the baby and what their life will be like. I fret about my MIL and how she has let herself be a slave to a paranoid and sad man.

Sofia just put her hand directly into the mist of the vaporizer, so now she's unhappy (and yet STILL begging to watch another "Signing Times" video). And she keeps whining.

Micah's got something brewing, and has been excessively grouchy for the past several days, which makes life really challenging.

But David has been great, and Sam actually helped me calm Micah down yesterday instead of goading him into a frenzy. And I got the most delicious kiss from Micah for a present the other day.

Ok, some photos before I head to the minivan again:

Catching up

So much to catch up on.

So David and I spent Thanksgiving weekend in Quebec City. On Thanksgiving Day (after my last blog entry), we stopped at the mall and I amazingly found a decent and on-sale bathing suit on the first try. Then we drove - in a snowstorm - about 30 minutes north of the city, ot a nordic spa, Le Nordique.

This is what it looked like when we walked outside, after putting on our bathing suits:

So first we sat in the Sauna, heated up our bodies. I don't have a great tolerance for heat, so we only sat about 10 minutes the first time.

Then we went outside and took a very fast dip in the cold pool (5 degrees C). Then back inside to relax in a warm room, then a dip in the (outside) whirlpool.

Then we repeated, the second time trying the Steam Room instead of the Sauna (I liked Sauna better, so I only did the Steam Room once).

One time, instead of dipping the the Cold Pool, we ventured down to the river, which, at 1 degree C, actually had snow slush floating on it.And it was SOOO cold!

Whew!

Anyway, the rest of the weekend was lovely. We had fondue twice, sushi once, mediocre pasta, yummy breakfasts. We walked in very cold weather and several light snow storms. We shopped. We relaxed. We ate. We drank. We talked. We had so much fun!

So we came home on Monday (the boys did not have school, so there was an extra day of vacation for everyone). Within about 2 minutes of walking into our house, it was crazy again - the kids and my folks had just gotten there too, and the boys were bouncing off the walls.

The week was busy. Since bedtime at my parents house is so late, the boys had trouble getting up in the mornings for school. I spent evenings working on a video for the day school's gala (and ignoring my Hebrew Homework). Friday we had Shabbat dinner at the home of friends.

But boy, yesterday was SOOO busy!

1. At 8am, we went to my hairdresser for the following transformation:

Yup, David not only cut off all the hair to donate to Locks of Love, he also shaved the beard and mustache! I have never seen his top lip! The kids were so excited.


2. We drove to CT to spend the afternoon with Grandma Ruth and David's sister Laura and her new baby and their cousin Heather and her new baby and hubby and son. I posted a bunch of pictures on a new webpage, but here are a few:I get to hold 2 babies, and then hand them back!


Ian Robert and Lilien Eve - he is 2 days and 2 weeks older than her, but so much larger!


After a long and somewhat emotionally charged day, we left Grandma's at about 6:30. But of course I'd forgotten that it was the night of my 25th high school reunion, and my friend J had flown in with her hubby from Omaha! I'd totally forgotten to RSVP! So I figured I'd just stop by and say "hi" while David and the kids waited in the car...

but everyone wanted me to stay, so I sent David off to drop the kids at my parents' house, and then we crashed the party! It was so much fun to see everyone.We were there until after 11, which means we didn't get to our house (after picking up the kids) until after 1:30 am. I am SOOO tired today!