Thursday, July 3, 2008

She just doesn't "get it"

I've been processing this one in my head for a few days, but I feel like I had best blog it now.

Among the many things my mom "discussed" with us after midnight on Monday (after 24 hours in-transit) was Sofia.

Mom: "You tell her not to do something, and she hides her face and stops, then she gets back up and does whatever she wants."

Us: "Well, yeah, she's three years old."

Mom: "No, it's not just that, it's the way she is." (my italics)


I told my babysitter, E, about it the next day, and she said Mom had said something similar to her last week, too (although I guess for E she used the phrase "it's because of her condition.")

And E, bless her heart, was also bothered by it, and went home to talk to her mom, a special ed teacher herself - who said "Well, yeah, she's three years old!"

So while I am very pleased at how E and her mom (and all the folks at our pediatrician's office) reacted to this story, I just can't get over being so disappointed that my mom still doesn't truly "get it". She cannot get over the fact that Sofia is "different", "special", "slow", "retarded", "disabled".

Those are all in quotes, because except for being VERY special, I don't particularly think of her with those other words.

Does she learn things just a bit slower than kids her same age? Yes.

Am I glad that my last baby is growing less rapidly? Yes - I have been able to savor each and every milestone Sofia reaches, whilst with the boys, everything passed by ain a blur.

Do I think that Sofia's extra chromosome makes her any "less" able to achieve things? NO! This kid is going to achieve anything she wants to achieve.

But once again, my wonderful little bubble was popped, or at least deflated a bit, by the ...(arg, it's a harsh word, but...) ignorance of someone important to us.


In other news, the kids are all making me "pay" for leaving them for 2 weeks. Sam is still having his anxiety/panic attacks - I spoke to his therapist, and we discussed some calming strategies he knows (which means we spent 45 minutes last night searching for the "happy rock"!).

I had to take Sofia to the pediatrician yesterday, because she'd popped a fever, her face was all broken out, and she kept clutching herself in pain. After two hours hanging out in the office (thank Heavens Micah was there to play hide-and-seek and jungle gym with her, and then Heavens they keep lots of empty cabinets around!), she was much better. We had tried to get a urine sample, by putting a taped bag on her, but we didn't get enough. So I was supposed to try again this morning, but she was so FINE, that I told them never mind. There's nothing like a visit to the pediatrician's office to cure whatever ails us. (Heck, since I'm there so often, the office ladies and the nurses are all friends, too, so they got to hear the story of my mom).

Micah and I had "alone" time today (E took Sofia to the playground). We went to a few music stores, investigating guitars for Sam. I may have found a reasonable acoustic, smaller than my old guitar, but it might actually be too small, so I want him to try it. I also checked into hand-percussion lessons for ME! Yup, I am suddenly struck with the yearning to learn hand-drums (tof, dombeck, djembe types). And Guitar Center is having a sale this weekend, AND they had a small metal one for about $32, so we might go back on Sunday...

I think I'll take Micah and Sofia to the pool club for a little while now. Sam won't be home from camp until about 6:00 (they are stopping for ice cream and he wants to see his friend's new puppy). We might go to the fireworks in Sharon tonight, but it might get canceled on account of wind. Tomorrow, we are off to my friend's cottage in Rhode Island for the day.

Next week, when EVERYONE is in camp (!) I will work on an extended version of my trip to Tahiti.

Happy 4th of July weekend, everyone! (For those of you out of the U.S., that's Independence Day here)


amy flege said...

glad to hear you are home!! cant wait to see you in boston!